News3 mins ago
A funny one for all to lighten the mood ...
7 Answers
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. " How did you know that the cat was dead" she asked him. " Because I p1ssed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. " You did WHAT?!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. " You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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A mother was out walking with her 4 year old daughter.
The daughter picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
The mother took the item away from her daughter and asked her not to do that.
"Why?" the daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" the mother replied.
At this point, the daughter looked at her with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"All mums know this stuff. It's on the Mummy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mummy."
They walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but the daughter was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" the mother replied back with a big smile on her face
lol
The daughter picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
The mother took the item away from her daughter and asked her not to do that.
"Why?" the daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" the mother replied.
At this point, the daughter looked at her with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"All mums know this stuff. It's on the Mummy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mummy."
They walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but the daughter was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" the mother replied back with a big smile on her face
lol
Have you any jokes about boats ?
One of my favourites is........
Rabbit goes into Job Centre and says,
"have u any jobs for rabbits"
We never have jobs for rabbits, says job centre man.
The rabbit goes every day for weeks asking the same question.
Job centre man answers " No jobs for rabbits" every time.
In comes film director to job centre says,
" I am looking for a rabbit, I am re making Watership Down so I need rabbits".
Job centre man......." I know just the rabbit"
Rabbit comes into job centre..."Have you any jobs for rabbits"
I have just the job, they are making a film cslled Watership Down, its about rabbits, they want rabbit actors.
"Don't be silly" says the rabbit. I'm an electrician.
One of my favourites is........
Rabbit goes into Job Centre and says,
"have u any jobs for rabbits"
We never have jobs for rabbits, says job centre man.
The rabbit goes every day for weeks asking the same question.
Job centre man answers " No jobs for rabbits" every time.
In comes film director to job centre says,
" I am looking for a rabbit, I am re making Watership Down so I need rabbits".
Job centre man......." I know just the rabbit"
Rabbit comes into job centre..."Have you any jobs for rabbits"
I have just the job, they are making a film cslled Watership Down, its about rabbits, they want rabbit actors.
"Don't be silly" says the rabbit. I'm an electrician.
-- answer removed --
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