Do I invite his ex?

[tgm1974]

My son is being christened in July and I am unsure whether to invite his ex wife. We have his children from the marriage come to stay with us through the week and she has bought my son the odd little gift if she has been on holiday, or its bought as if his other children have got things for him.

They are very civilised with each other and there is no "shown" anamosity (sorry for spelling). We have spoke the odd time on the phone, not indepth, and I have seen her at the local B&Q when Ive been there with my partner.

In two minds what to do - whats anyones opinion if they were in same situation

[MrsJ1]

I'd ask your son first as it's his day. If he's happy, then do it.

[Ethel]

Your posting is a bit confusing - do you mean you and your partner are having your baby christened, and you are unsure whether or not to invite the partner's ex-wife?

Or is it a grown up son with an ex-wife of his own?

Assuming the first scenario, as your partner's other children will be there, it would be nice to invite the ex too.

[tgm1974]

My son is only 7 months old and even though I think he is advanced for his age, he has not mastered talking yet!! LOL!!

[BabsG]

tgm read your first sentence. An easy mistake for MrsJ to make. Have a nice day.

[Psychick]

As her children will be there, and if you feel comfortable with it, then ask her if thats what you want.

If it will make you feel uncomfortable, then dont worry about not inviting her. After all, the day is about your son and no one probably expects her to be there. If you are ok with it though, it would be a nice gesture for her sons to see, especially as she does think of your son too with the gifts.

Have you spoken to your partner about it to see what he thinks and have her sons mentioned her being there?

[tgm1974]

Noone has mentioned her coming but I just thought it was a nice gesture .... I dont think she would come to be honest but I just thought it would have been nice to ask.

Silly arent I?

[Psychick]

In that case, definately ask her.

I dont think its silly at all, its very sweet of you to consider her :)

[Le Chat]

If you want to invite her then do it! Very refreshing that you are not caught up in the petty jealousies of relationships past! Marvellous!

[Whoever]

If your partner is happy with her being there, by all means invite her. Many families these days struggle trying to reconcile earlier relationships, and if you can cement this one and keep it amicable, it will be to all your benefits later on. Family members now get their support from all different sources and can't change their earlier history, so those familities who are able to maintain amicable relationships usually reap dividends later on. Your partner's "ex" will probably appreciate the invitation. If she doesn't want to accept, she can think of an excuse, but I'm sure she will be pleased that you both think sufficiently kindly of her to want her to be included in your celebration. Similarly, if you can gently reciprocate in her family's affairs, it will make life between you all much more pleasant and trouble-free in the future.