Paying child support

[daffidazey]

Can I please have your opinions on this. Do you think that parents should pay maintenance for their children if a partnership breaks down? Or should the sole parent be entirely responsible? This is aimed at men and women. Thanks. Daffi x

[daffy654]

The absent parent should pay child support to the parent who the child/children live with in my opinion.

[harryshaw]

who wat ever
mam or dad

should pay for childrens upkeep
ot just the dads
mams too
as we are both reponsible for havin them
it takes two to tango
not one
two makes the babys of this world
not one
so both should contribute my opin ion xx

[theonlyone]

Think you will get a sensible response
in Family or Law ..

[Drisgirl]

Both parents have a responsabilty for the children regardless of how bitterly they may feel about each other.
I have to say that the primary carer usually contributes more to the childrens upkeep in the long term.
For example I had no option but to have a 3 bedroomed house with the large mortgage etc that went with whilst my ex had a one bedroomed flat (thats what he wanted -he didnt have to downgrade) -just examples like that really.
I had a great ex cos he paid half the holidays and things like that over and above the maintenance and when he got a pay rise he upped the maintenance without even telling me.

[Drisgirl]

Hmm theonlyone we can do sensible here as well -cheeky !!!

[daffy654]

She is only asking for opinions theonlyone,not where she stands in law. :-)

[daffidazey]

Thanks :-)
The reason I asked for your opinions was because of a responce I had on this thread.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Law/Question535 526.html
Just got me wondering what others thought. x

[theonlyone]

Ok ..sorry guys .but normally you get a
numpty ..posting insults on this type of
thread on CB ...

[Drisgirl]

Safer posting here daffi -that is a paltry amount plus I feel for you for the abuse you endured on that thread -shameful.

17 yrs ago when we first split up my ex paid �120 per month for our 2 and he was only clearing at that time �150 per week.Latterly it was �160 per month - a few years ago now -he stopped giving me the money when they became independant but continued to give them the money -our son until he finished Uni and our daughter up until he died.He was just wanting to give them a hand to get on their feet.
Now - thats the way it should be done-forget any acrimony- the children should be afforded the same lifestyle they would have had if the parents had stayed together -that is the way the law (in Scotland) sees it.

[daffidazey]

Thanks for your reply, drisgirl. After the response I had, I wasn't sure if maybe I was wrong to think of asking him for more. But if they are our kids, why does he get to walk away? x

[kawa4]

if he just try's 2 walk away hes not a man anyway' as a man i was bringing up 2 ofmy 3 kid's alone 4' 7 year's and payed gladly 4 my 3rd.my kid's r a gift 2 me

[angel-cake]

Depends how old the children are and if a woman has decided to go ahead with having a baby that the man is against. Although really, any man who has sex without a condom should be prepared for a pregnancy even if the girl says she is on the pill and therefore be prepared to be involved financially and emotionally.

[Drisgirl]

Aww kawa --sorry daffi but that was just sooo nice to hear that when sometimes all you get is men bleatingxx

Angel -its not my thread -but I think daffi is talking about a marriage/partnership here and it by all accounts doesnt seem to be a 'Jeremy Kyle' stylee if you get my drift.

O get me -get me off the soapbox lol xxx

[bednobs]

i don't understand why people marry these losers and have kids with them!
Or does the loser bit just come after?
It just surprises me that peoples personalities can change SO much - how does it happen that someone you had enough respect for to actually get married to and start a family with can turn into someone you can have no respect for in a relatively short space of time. or if thats not the case, why did you chose him?
I dont mean to sound disrespectful t you but its just something thats alawys puzzled me!

In answer to your question both parents should be responsible but in varying amounts i think, unless they have a 50/50 split on custody

[Drisgirl]

In Scotland there isnt such a thing as joint custody -one parent has to be the primary carer bedknobs -just for you info.

Have to say had we all had the gift of 20/20 vision along with hindsight -where would you be or indeed would we all be for that matter-its life as we know it !!!!

[daffidazey]

Thanks again, Drisgirl. The 'lovely man that I was married to for 8 years, decided that his friends were having more fun then him. They were happily leading a single lads life and my hubby thought he would join in, not realising I would find out! He said he was sorry, that we would try again and he wouldn't do it again, but he did. He was also starting to get aggressive and controlling, he wasn't like this at the beginning of the relationship, it started about 6 months before I found out he was cheating. I was upset and it was having an effect on my children, especially my daughter. That is why I left him. x

[shaunnadavie]

hiya guys im currently petitioning to have the law changed and to get the courts to link maintenence payments and visitation http://www.gopetition.com/online/19557.html thats my petition site please join my plight if you feel as strongly as i do why should the absent parent get the same rights if they dont give anything and all those who do pay and see their kids hats off to you
shaunna