Are my neighbours wierd or is it just me?

[annie0000]

I won't bore you with all the issues I have with the family a couple of doors away, but I really can't believe what they did on Saturday.

It was their sons 6th birthday - they also have an older daughter who is about 11. They organised a party for a few of his school friends and neighbours kids at a local soft play centre - (this is quite unusual for them to go to any effort). However, my other neighbour who's son and daughter were at the party told me that they dropped off the Birthday Boy - greeted a few guests then b*ggered off to garage to buy a new wheel trim for their car - returning at the end of the party.

Whilst there are staff there, It is not supervised as such and also, it was their sons party. Regardless of whether the staff were being paid to watch, I think that I would like to attend my own sons party.

Is it me, or is that weird?

p.s. my other neighbour stayed to ensure that there was at least one adult there that actually knew the kids.

[annie0000]

Also the reason that my kids can go out is that they have proved to me that they know how to behave and watch for cars and if any of the children ask them in to play, they have to come and ask me first.

[redcrx]

i meant 6 year olds that are off where parents cant see them or are relying on others to parent them. debbie, yes it probably does depend on where they are and what dangers are around as well as how mature they are.

[annie0000]

So it is definitely not just me then, I agree that I would expect my child to be supervised at a party. I don't know how will turn out in the end, given that his parents don't seem particularly interested. He is now the only one in the street that cant ride his bike - cos they never spend any time training him.

[LoftyLottie]

I wouldn't let a five year old out to play on their own unless they were in an area that was visible to me. Fortunately, I live in the back of beyond and have a very large rambling garden which used to be full of children when mine were young. I certainly wouldn't let a four or five year old out to play on a road with any traffic, even a culdesac.

What really upsets me is how many older children are expected to watch over their younger siblings whilst they are out playing. I always think it's totally unfair on the older child.

[annie0000]

I agree lofty - or just relying on neighbours to ensure your child is safe. I am afraid that I don't get on with his parents purely on the basis that they think it is okay to not know where your child is as you assume that he will be in somebodys house. As I said, we do live in what I feel is a safe area, but you just never know who lives around you do you? I am sure that not all paedophiles live in run down council estates and were a dirty mac.

[LoftyLottie]

Yep, and traffic too -

It only takes a child on a trike to ride out behind someone reversing their car very slowly.......................... Roads are dangerous, cars kill even at low speeds. Tots should not be playing on roads.

[annie0000]

My kids are the only ones that wear helmets and reflective jackets when they are out on their bikes - sometimes I think that I am a paranoid parent, but I don't think that you should do what everyone else does if you feel that it is not right for your family and the safety of your children.

[LoftyLottie]

Mine did as well Annie. They don't now they are adults!! Yes, we have to do what we feel is right for our kids. Kids differ in their abilities and grow up at different rates. Some kids are very sensible at 6 or 7, others are still daft at 30!! We just have to take care that we don't wrap them up in cotton wool - they have to learn to cope in life. But 4 or 5 playing unsupervised outside the confines or their home and garden, in my opinion, is definately too young.

[lilteddybear]

i am a 15 year old and i agree with annie0000 children should have boundarys.
i never had boundarys and still don't although i am a straight a student i smoke go out drink and do NOT have sex.
i listen to my mam when i want i get away with everything. but i do keep my head down in school.

at school meetings my mam usually says that doesn't sound like my daughter at all, wish she did that at home etc etc.

and that was a wrong thing to do to there son they must not care about what happens to him but no it would be a different matter if he was to run away or even to be kidnapped (i know i shuldn't be saying it but its true) they'd care then though wouldn't they.

i am now tryin my best to be good at home i am quiting smoking bit by bit cutting down on the drinking and i am starting slowly to listen to my mam.

[annie0000]

Good for you for trying to clean up your act .

I agree that they would be devestated if anything was to happen to him, and I wouldn't wish any harm to him, but I do feel sometimes that they need a real fright. If perhaps he was playing perfectly safely in another childs house, but wasn't a place where they would ordinarily look for him, if you get what I mean.

I guess that everyone has diffenet ways of parenting, it just seems weird to me.

Anyway - best of luck with setting your own standards - maybe you will set stronger boundaries for your own kids one day!