can you always worry about the world and their fathers?

[shanx]

in a post going back , someone close had a stroke , today i had a phone , go and see her before its too late , i lost both parents when i was young ,i was there when they died and had three elder sisters that have never been there for me , sometimes i wish i had a brother , my friend hated her husband , and her children hated him but he is going down the martyre , bit brash hated him more like didnt like him , get on well with the kids but trying to come to turms with her death ,i know if i go there i will break down

[lindapinda]

Sorry Shanx,I'm not sure who exactly you're talking about? Is it your sister?

[shanx]

no sorry linda its a close friend , that moved away all over the country but always kept in touch , more than my own sisters , sorry to confuse you , what i am trying to say is that she was more than a sister to me than my own

[lindapinda]

Aww I'm sorry Shanx,friends can often be much closer than family, and because you see them as equals (no matter what the age difference is),their death can be really traumatic. It won't matter if you get very upset,thats what funerals are all about and at least you'll never torment yourself in the future, should you have gone or should you not.It's very difficult I know though.

[shanx]

it was his attitude that upset me , get there before she dies, like now , it was such a shock

[dot.hawkes]

Your decision should be based on your love for your friend, you will never forgive yourself if you miss the chance to see her.

[shanx]

forgot to say that in the meantime my sister had an heart attack , so i was back an fore the hospital, and taking my aunt back and fore to hospital for tests

[shanx]

i explained to my friends husband , what was going on in my life but he shruged me off , wich upset me i just cant be everywhere

[lindapinda]

That is really galling Shanx :-(...Very difficult for you to deal with,but,if you leave him out of the equation,you would want to be there for your friend. I had a friend who died very suddenly from menengitis and because of various situations,I wasn't able to go to his funeral. I have always regretted this to this day,and i'm talking 25 years ago.

[Drisgirl]

Please find the courage to go - look upon it as a blessing you have the chance -a lot dont.

[shanx]

i will be at the funeral , without a dought i will be there ,upset about the chats we had about him she was a strong person and i am sure he grounded her down , thats what upset me

[Drisgirl]

Shanx -please dont take this the wrong way but I think you need to sleep because I think you sound as though you are ground down with everything thats happening and you cant function properly if you are exhausted.Take care of yourself x

[Ice.Maiden]

We can't alter what's in the past Shanx - but we can do things from now on. Go to the funeral if you can - and don't worry if you feel upset, as I'm sure this is a natural thing for people who lose someone close to them. Let your friend's husband deal with things in his own way. Whatever the rights and wrongs, stay dignified and try not to argue with him. I also hope that things start to look up for you in other areas of your life as well.

[shanx]

you are right , i must get some sleep but i will always be there for her children and i think they know , thank you and will keep in touch xx

[lindapinda]

I understand shanx,a very strong minded friend of mine,very succesful in business has been punched in the face by her husband . Friends know an awful lot.

[shanx]

ice maiden, i am not an arguementive person , quite the reverse