ChatterBank6 mins ago
relationship advice...
34 Answers
hi guys. not sure if this is the right section for this, but i'll give it a go. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months and we are sickeningly happy most of the time. only a black cloud has hung over our relationship the whole time... his female best friend. i had been with my boyfriend for 10 days, when i was taken to a family event on christmas eve. i barely knew him, let alone any of the other people, and being a naturally shy person, i was fairly quiet. this friend of his then proceeded to say i was a 'stuck up b***h' among other things. ever since then she has been a pain in the arse. she wants him for herself and is jealous of our relationship. she texts him day-in and day-out and he even had to ask her to stop saying nasty things about me. this wasnt too bad when she had a boyfriend, but since they broke up, she has been worse than ever. my other half cant see that she's just using him to fill her time now that shes single. he has even admitted to me that she's not even nice to him. anyway... it all came to a head when he declared he was going to stay with her at uni. i kicked up a fuss because the two of us REALLY dont get along (through no fault of my own. i was willing to make the effort but she had already decided she didn't like me before she even met me) but he went anyway. obviously to me, it now looks like he chose to go, even though he knew it would upset me. why does this girl have some kind of hold over him? he didnt contact me the whole time he was there, and then i find some pictures on "facebook" and this girl is all over him. then i find out they shared a bed. is this just friendship? does anyone else think i'm jumping to conclusions? it's getting to the point where i want to make him choose, either his relationship with me or his friendship with her. but i know thats a totally wrong thing to do. i cant stay with him with her on the scene though. thanks for any help! x.
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That's fine China, sleeping in the same bed as someone doesn't mean you have tom have sex with them (I slept in the same bed as my ex wife and we didn't make whoopee for months on end lol).
However, in the context of shady_jady's post, I find it highly suspicious that he claimed that nothing happened.
shady_jady he's playing on your insecurities by winding you up using this so called 'freind' love.
My mrs4GS would go ballistic if she found out I had slept in the same bed as one of my female friends
However, in the context of shady_jady's post, I find it highly suspicious that he claimed that nothing happened.
shady_jady he's playing on your insecurities by winding you up using this so called 'freind' love.
My mrs4GS would go ballistic if she found out I had slept in the same bed as one of my female friends
in reply to SKA...
he's been friends with her for about 3 years, but for a year and 9 months of that, he's been with me (can't really be the bosom buddies that he makes out as he didn't used to see her that often. that was her choice because she was too busy with her boyfriend). It was not too bad until about 2 months ago. she was kept at arms length as she had her own boyfriend. but now he has disappeared off the scene, she rears her ugly head FAR too often.
In regards to the bed thing, i DID go mental. but he just laughed it off and made it seem like nothing at all. He claimed top-to-tail was a perfectly acceptable thing. It's not just the sex thing, which DOES bother me... but sharing a bed is an intimate thing. The thought of him doing this with another female, sex or no sex... makes me feel quite sick actually.
China Doll... you're right about him discussing it with her. We had had an argument about her the previous weekend because he had suddenly started blowing me off to spend time with her. And every time he's with her, he doesn't get in contact AT ALL. very dodgy as he's usually so good at staying in touch, even if just by text. So after this argument, who did he discuss it with... HER! what a moron... i mean really! I did have a mental at him, which I thought would have given him the message of just how i feel about her. so then what does he do? he goes to stay with her 4 days later. what i also don't understand is that it's not like he hasn't seen her for months, she only went back to uni last weekend. it's like he couldnt bear to not see her for a week! what do you guys reckon to that?
he's been friends with her for about 3 years, but for a year and 9 months of that, he's been with me (can't really be the bosom buddies that he makes out as he didn't used to see her that often. that was her choice because she was too busy with her boyfriend). It was not too bad until about 2 months ago. she was kept at arms length as she had her own boyfriend. but now he has disappeared off the scene, she rears her ugly head FAR too often.
In regards to the bed thing, i DID go mental. but he just laughed it off and made it seem like nothing at all. He claimed top-to-tail was a perfectly acceptable thing. It's not just the sex thing, which DOES bother me... but sharing a bed is an intimate thing. The thought of him doing this with another female, sex or no sex... makes me feel quite sick actually.
China Doll... you're right about him discussing it with her. We had had an argument about her the previous weekend because he had suddenly started blowing me off to spend time with her. And every time he's with her, he doesn't get in contact AT ALL. very dodgy as he's usually so good at staying in touch, even if just by text. So after this argument, who did he discuss it with... HER! what a moron... i mean really! I did have a mental at him, which I thought would have given him the message of just how i feel about her. so then what does he do? he goes to stay with her 4 days later. what i also don't understand is that it's not like he hasn't seen her for months, she only went back to uni last weekend. it's like he couldnt bear to not see her for a week! what do you guys reckon to that?
How old are you both please shady?
I wouldn't put up with it personally. Fair enough if he has a female friend but it's not on for him to be sharing a bed with her when he has a girlfriend...regardless of if they had cushions between one another, topped or tailed or whathaveyou. It's just not very respectful to you. Plus in the latest posting you say he's been blowing you out and doesn't contact when he's with her - sounds a bit immature, like he's enjoying winding you up a bit.
I wouldn't put up with it personally. Fair enough if he has a female friend but it's not on for him to be sharing a bed with her when he has a girlfriend...regardless of if they had cushions between one another, topped or tailed or whathaveyou. It's just not very respectful to you. Plus in the latest posting you say he's been blowing you out and doesn't contact when he's with her - sounds a bit immature, like he's enjoying winding you up a bit.
Beads... he's 20 and I am 20 in one month today actually! I know you may think we are too young to be so serious, but I sometimes think we are actually soul mates, always finishing each other's sentences, having little private jokes and things. I couldn't bear to lose him, and he says this about me. He has now said that he will stop being friends with this girl if that means he won't lose me. But how do I know he won't just continue being friends with her on the sly? He has been known to lie to me once or twice in the past (there's ANOTHER girl that has a thing for him and he went to her party and told me he was out with friends). I actually think he is a bit scared of this best friend. I don't get the impression he actually likes her very much, but she can turn nasty. I think he does what she says to avoid an argument.
Personally I think he's loving the fact that two women are vying for his attention, I can tell you what an ego boost that is.
He's using you and is uber disrespectful of your feelings, he obviously doesn't care as much for you as he does this ahem friend, it all sounds very dodgy to me. If I were in your situation I would dump the cheating two timing rat and let him live with his new girlfriend
He's using you and is uber disrespectful of your feelings, he obviously doesn't care as much for you as he does this ahem friend, it all sounds very dodgy to me. If I were in your situation I would dump the cheating two timing rat and let him live with his new girlfriend
He sounds like a right wimp.
What sort of a man would only agree to do anything a woman says just to avoid an argument.
The only time this is potentially acceptable is when it is your wife or your girlfriend.
He needs to grow up and you need to find someone with more reliability and backbone and lots of passion for just you.
What sort of a man would only agree to do anything a woman says just to avoid an argument.
The only time this is potentially acceptable is when it is your wife or your girlfriend.
He needs to grow up and you need to find someone with more reliability and backbone and lots of passion for just you.
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