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ab_user | 10:21 Tue 14th Aug 2007 | Body & Soul
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I have been 'helping' a few friends out recently, by seeing whether their husbands are being faithful or not. All this involves is arranging to be at the same bar as these men, catching their attention, flirting with them and seeing how far they will take things. It is similar to a honey trap except I do not get paid to do this, I have done this as a favour for some insecure friends. Apart from some harmless flirting, the men have mostly appeared to be faithful. One of my friends from uni has been having some problems with her boyfriend, she asked if I would 'do my thing' and see if she was playing around. Everything was set up, I was in the bar when her boyfriend arrived and HE WAS GORGEOUS. We spent the night catching glances at each other, until her finally approached me and offered to buy me a drink, I accepted and we spent the rest of the evening drinking together, I was feeling pretty hot by the end of the evening and decided to take him up on his offer of sex. It was amazing. The following day I had to report back to my friend and I told her that he was 'faithful' and that she had nothing to worry about, the problem now though is that we have continued to see each other and meet up weekly. I feel bad as my friend now thinks things are great between her and her boyfriend now she thinks he is faithful? Should I tell her that I have caught him cheating so that she will finish with him? Or shall I just carry on with this?
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Believe me, we have had more obsurd Q's than this, claiming to be real! And more obsurd ones that are actually true!

So.. you are in a sh!t situation and don't know what to do? Serves you right. You did it to yourself. Now suck it up and deal with the consequences like a grown up. It will be horrible.. she will cry, you will row.. you will probably lose her as a friend.... Welcome to the wonderful world of 'life'!
But your original Q only gave 2 options. Tell her or carry on.

How about you ditch the guy, tell her he was faithful and that she has nothing to worry about, continue being friends and everyone lives happily ever after. To avoid this in future meet with your friends and their boyfriends (assuming they want you to meet them) and turn down any requests to lay honey traps. Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa.
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I could have said that, but I wanted to put the full story across and that is how the affair started. I am not in the habit of making things up like this.
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In the option �tell her� that would almost certainly mean finishing with him wouldn�t it? So I did put that as an option.
but you dont love him do you so do that one
4gottenabout
errrr, no. You could finish it without telling her.

Incidentally was this last night, seeing as she �set you up� hasn�t she asked you already? I would presume she would have asked you last night or at least phoned/sent a text every 5 minutes? My wife would!!!
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No!! This was weeks ago.
and ok if you're not making things up, we've all given our opinions, take the advice thats been given, get out of it
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Thanks
So what have you told her about the night in question?
Surely she would be dieing to know the outcome of the trap?
so in your tiny world 'recently' (as in your OP) is the same as 'weeks ago'?
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She did want to know of course, and I told her that he didn�t take the bait. She asked what happened, I told her lies and that was that. I don�t feel good about it, it�s not clever. But it has happened and now I need to deal with it!
So continue the lie and dump the bloke.

Simple.
Go on the Jeremy Kyle show and break it to her on there.
Think this is a teenage fantasy, maybe you will be better off posting on Bebo love
look at it in black and white, there is no point in worrying about ruining your friendship as you have done that already, you did it...not her, no excuses, no blaming her for setting you up, you took advantage, you could have resisted


You also have to accept that this guy will cheat on you too, its what he does, you are one of many women who has or will be duped.

What goes around comes around.
Are you old enough to drink Vodka?
What I dont understand about this post is,

(a) Are all your friends THAT insecure that they need you to go and try and trap their boyfriends?

(b) Are you THAT gorgeous, all your insecure friends think their boyfriends would want to automatically chat you up, as opposed to all the other females that are out?

(c) If you are that good looking, then why are you not spending your time, with a boyfriend of your own?

(d) How do you know that this was'nt a trap, to see if you were the good friend you were surposed to be?

How did you always know where to be and at the right time? There are plenty of clubs and pubs around, and I am sure your mates couldnt always pinpoint the exact place where their boyfriends were going to be.

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