ChatterBank1 min ago
Calm down, disengage brain, engage first gear
Ignoring the COMPLETE CLOSURE of the A3 at Wimbledon, which of these apart from all of them do you think leads to the greatest loss of bonhomie and goodwill towards all men from behind the wheel.
1) BUSES
2) Milk Floats
3) Jaywalkers
4) PEDESTRIAN LIGHTS
5) People turning right
6) ditto ditto without feeling the necessity to indicate
7) People who suddenly think what a jolly good idea to switch on my hazard lights and park on a red line.
8) BUSES
9) People who can't be ar$ed to pull away when the traffic lights turn green.
10) Sleeping policemen
11) White vans
12) People who drive straight ahead from a right-turn lane because they are much more important than you and have to get there 5 seconds before you.
13) Artics reversing into supermarket delivery roads.
14) Tooting, generally.
15) Level crossings that close 10 minutes before the train can be bothered to go through.
16) People double parking to pop into Londis. Hazard warning lights on make it ok of course.
And I bloody missed Masterchef too ! Ah well, home now, time to relax and cook Bass with Lime, PUSTA, anchowvies, and lumpy potato mash.
1) BUSES
2) Milk Floats
3) Jaywalkers
4) PEDESTRIAN LIGHTS
5) People turning right
6) ditto ditto without feeling the necessity to indicate
7) People who suddenly think what a jolly good idea to switch on my hazard lights and park on a red line.
8) BUSES
9) People who can't be ar$ed to pull away when the traffic lights turn green.
10) Sleeping policemen
11) White vans
12) People who drive straight ahead from a right-turn lane because they are much more important than you and have to get there 5 seconds before you.
13) Artics reversing into supermarket delivery roads.
14) Tooting, generally.
15) Level crossings that close 10 minutes before the train can be bothered to go through.
16) People double parking to pop into Londis. Hazard warning lights on make it ok of course.
And I bloody missed Masterchef too ! Ah well, home now, time to relax and cook Bass with Lime, PUSTA, anchowvies, and lumpy potato mash.
Answers
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Got to be No 6 especially people using roundabouts, usually while in the wrong lane. I mean, let me know where the heck you are intending to go and I will gladly stay out of your way!
Another one for me is people stopping about 2 miles from the junction or roundabout the are trying to negotiate - how the dickens are you going to see what is happening from there you lunatic!!!
Oh don't get me started!!! I only drive about 6 miles a day as well! I have managed to cover nearly 7000 miles in the last 3 years, but I still encounter at least one madperson per day who is obviously using their indicator stalk to hang the old magic tree on, 'cos they sure as heck aint using it for its mechanical purpose. Anyhoo, rant over - enjoy your wee fishy.
p.s. I even managed not to swear - woohoo!
Another one for me is people stopping about 2 miles from the junction or roundabout the are trying to negotiate - how the dickens are you going to see what is happening from there you lunatic!!!
Oh don't get me started!!! I only drive about 6 miles a day as well! I have managed to cover nearly 7000 miles in the last 3 years, but I still encounter at least one madperson per day who is obviously using their indicator stalk to hang the old magic tree on, 'cos they sure as heck aint using it for its mechanical purpose. Anyhoo, rant over - enjoy your wee fishy.
p.s. I even managed not to swear - woohoo!
Annie, moan away, feel free. I drive at most 6 miles per week, the rest is on a bike.
We could do a little rant about skip drivers. I saw one of these morons driving around a roundabout, MOBILE PHONE clamped to the ear, steering one-handed, all neurones switched off and probably hawking and gobbing out of the window. Naturally there was no indication.
In the event I didn't cook the Bass, instead I have Jersey Royals, broccccollllli, and Co-op breaded ham.
We could do a little rant about skip drivers. I saw one of these morons driving around a roundabout, MOBILE PHONE clamped to the ear, steering one-handed, all neurones switched off and probably hawking and gobbing out of the window. Naturally there was no indication.
In the event I didn't cook the Bass, instead I have Jersey Royals, broccccollllli, and Co-op breaded ham.
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No legend, neither in my tact and consideration did I mention WOMEN AT CASHPOINTS or WOMEN AT CHECKOUTS.
They don't have a bloody clue. Cashpoints: oh do I have to press a button, how does that work then ? Checkouts: Oh so you want payment do you, that's come as a bit of a shock. Hang on 10 minutes while I look in the bottom of my handbag. Do you take a cheque ? I'd rather write it than have you print it, can I borrow a pen ? Oh, do you need a card to go with it, that's a bit of a ****** because it's right at the bottom of my handbag.
They don't have a bloody clue. Cashpoints: oh do I have to press a button, how does that work then ? Checkouts: Oh so you want payment do you, that's come as a bit of a shock. Hang on 10 minutes while I look in the bottom of my handbag. Do you take a cheque ? I'd rather write it than have you print it, can I borrow a pen ? Oh, do you need a card to go with it, that's a bit of a ****** because it's right at the bottom of my handbag.
Hope you enjoyed your ham - by bike, did you mean motorbike or pushbike? I used to pedal to and from work, but my rearrranged schedule means that I finish work at 3pm - walk to car park to collect car - 3.04pm - drive home 3 miles - 3.11pm - walk to school to collect kids 3.14pm - bell rings 3.15pm. Try as I might, I cannot get from finish work at 3pm all the way to -bell rings at 3.15pm on a push bike - tragic I know, but I guess that I am just too old and knackered!
Now you see my carefully arranged schedule, you get a glimps of why - "avoid moron going round roundabout in wrong lane and not indicating, subsequently delaying my entry onto said roundabout" has no place in the schedule and therefore they need to "get off the road - you moron" don't they know I have 2 small children to collect who will have very sad faces if mum is not in her designated spot in the playground when they are kicked out at 3.15 on the dot. (And I will not speed - no I will not!)
Now you see my carefully arranged schedule, you get a glimps of why - "avoid moron going round roundabout in wrong lane and not indicating, subsequently delaying my entry onto said roundabout" has no place in the schedule and therefore they need to "get off the road - you moron" don't they know I have 2 small children to collect who will have very sad faces if mum is not in her designated spot in the playground when they are kicked out at 3.15 on the dot. (And I will not speed - no I will not!)
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In defence of 13), blame the architect who designed the supermarket service road in the first place. He/she has never driven an artic and assumes that 'cos they can turn round their Matchbox model on the plan, we can do it with the real thing. Also they never allow for all the turning area being taken up by spare trollies/cages, waste cardboard, the smokers area etc.
My main bugbears are people not indicating generally, ones who have no idea what lane lines are for on r'abouts, so they cut across you at the last minute and blame you for sounding the horn when in fact you have saved them an insurance bill and women(I have never seen a man do it) who use their children in pushchairs as a weapon to try and make you stop for them to cross at some arbitary point (as oppossed to a proper crossing).
My main bugbears are people not indicating generally, ones who have no idea what lane lines are for on r'abouts, so they cut across you at the last minute and blame you for sounding the horn when in fact you have saved them an insurance bill and women(I have never seen a man do it) who use their children in pushchairs as a weapon to try and make you stop for them to cross at some arbitary point (as oppossed to a proper crossing).
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