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Dog mess on lawn

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hillman | 19:12 Wed 04th Aug 2004 | Home & Garden
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Has anbody got any good ideas about stopping dogs messing on my lawn
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I find attacking the owners with a hammer seems to work...Seriously you could try an animal scarer, there is a neat one that squirts water from the hose, or deterrents available from a garden center (I believe Renardine is the best but it stinks), or a sonic scarer, look in the back of any gardening mag, there are loads of ads.
Yes, but only if we were allowed to exterminate them & their owners! Seriously, since we bought a spray bottle of 'GET OFF' from the local pet shop, we have had no dogs messing by our brick piers, walls, gates, or on our drive. It's amazing stuff & all for under a fiver for a large bottle too.
To keep dogs off your lawn you can put a clear jug filled with water. I do not know how it works but the dog will not go on the lawn when the jug is on the lawn. another thing u can do is buy some dog and cat repellent at your local garden store
Install a gatling gun!! Now, the position of your cannon depends on your garden architecture- an open plan, wide spaced garden would benefit best from a low level cannon- so that you can strafe accross the lawn taking out multiple targets without having to aim too much. If your garden has sheds and other obstacle, I suggest you mount the cannon from a high level window, so that you can rain fire from above. This method does however require much better aim- but just lead them by a few feet and you should strike. (Before anyone posts after this, I do not approve of any cruelty to animals of any kind and am a keen supporter of the RSPCA- this is for those with a sense of humour similar to mine)
Unfortunately, depsite two long walks a day, my two labs still cr4p on the grass, so I have to go on a daily sh!t patrol with a trowell and a bag. Still, at least it's my own dogs mess that I'm clearing up - but what really winds me up is clearing up the cats sh!t from my neighbours cat...if I ever catch the vermin I will kick the b4$tard as hard as I can.
Ahhh Scubaboy has a problem with cats. Now- what I suggest is a chimney mounted rocket propelled grenade- it's messy but does the job.......
I've been a bit depressed lately, but I only have to read some of the comments & arguments on dogs habits, etc.,& I'm laughing my head off! I am not a dog lover & would prefer cats any day. At least they have the sense & decency to bury their smelly ****!
Hang on a minute AB Ed, you edit my mild 4 letter word, but not scubaboy's. Why is that?????? My word was only c**p!
P'raps I should have written s**t too!

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