advice please...

[lynneylou]

My daughter is 13 and v popular at school and knows everyone etc. she has started hanging around with year 11's as well as her own year and seems quite taken with one yr 11 inparticular. They text all the time and she's always telling me how nice he is etc. Today while she is at school, I read her texts from the last weekend and although one from him says he just wants to have mates and have fun etc, another asks for her to send a naughty pic of herself and another that he is gettin quite excited and is she looking forward to doing things and that he would lick her!!! If i mention i've read her txts, she'll delete them in future, what do I say to her????

[HJT40]

Poor you, what a dilema. It is nice to be popular, but that is not the sort of popularity that she would want, or is appropriate at that age.

It is a difficult thing to advise on, but now seems a good time to talk about the bird and bees and about relationships etc so she can put these requests in context and so that she knows she shouldn't do what has been asked and what pond life (sorry!) these boys are. She must keep her self respect intact because what she thinks of herself is more important than what any boy or girl for that matter thinks. You are obviously a good mum and I am sure you will think of the right words to say and then you can keep an eye on her texts for a while, but trust her to do the right thing.

Good luck.
x

[andy-hughes]

Kids! They want to be grown-up so fast, they can't wait to take their time a little, but then, did we?

Children do mature far earlier these days, and the advent of mobile and net communication is a two-edged sword as you are finding out. These texts may be just bravado, but you need to make sure your daughter knows the facts about sex, and its consequences.

Why not wait until you are having some quiet, private time, and broach the subject then? I told my three girls that I was available to tell the truth about anything they wanted to know, and if I didn;t have the anwer, I would find it and let them know. My youngest wondered if smoke comes out of a penis after ejaculartion!

So, be there for her when she needs you - explain that sex is part of being a woman, but it has its context, and is not something to do 'because everyone is doing it'.

This is a confusing time for her, as her body changes, and she hears all manner of nonsense, so be the oasis of calm, and support, and she will get through this - promise!