How Do I Tell My Mom That I Need A Few Weeks Away From Her And Her New Husband?

[justteen]

I'm f16. My mother got married a long time ago and I've always got the feeling that her new husband didn't like me. They now have children together and its even more noticeble. The strong dislike has now turned into verbal abuse. Every time I come home I'm scared that's something is going to upset him. He get upset over a tag in the floor or the clean dishes not being taken out of the dishwasher. He scares me. He yells at my mother and siblings but not as bad as me. I've brought up how this makes me feel but my mother doesn't listen. I've decided to take myself out of the equation for a few weeks to make her see reason. If he take his anger out on them it is him, but if it is totally fine it is me. If it is me I will try living out of the house for a little while. I love my mom but I need a break. PLEASE HELP.

[Zacs-Master]

'I've decided to take myself out of the equation for a few weeks'

Then what do you need help with, justteen?

[Tilly2]

Where will you go?

[bookbinder]

First of all, find yourself somewhere to go, such as a job that involves living there, on the job. Then tell your mother that you won't be around for a while.

[sandyRoe]

Have you family that could offer accommodation for a while?
Moving out completely and setting up on your own would be expensive.

[justteen]

I have grandparents i can live with. They live near my school so it will be okay, But my mom is a bit of a helicopter parent so it will be hard to convince her.

[Atheist]

justteen; Have you spoken to your grandparents about your plans? Would they be supportive?

[justteen]

Yes they would, they have no relations to my stepdad.

[Zacs-Master]

If the Grandparents are your mum's mother & father I could see this causing issues and I think they may need to talk between themselves about your plans. If not, just go.

[justteen]

But how do I tell my mom. I can't just leave and not say anything.

[pastafreak]

//I've brought up how this makes me feel but my mother doesn't listen. //
If mother doesn't listen now, is she likely to listen or be willing to discuss you staying with grandparents for awhile?

[justteen]

I honestly don't know. I just know I need to get out.

[carolegif]

Talk to your grandparent first. Tell them how you feel. They might be able to approach your Mum. My husband was living with his grandparents when I met him. I know several children that have found sanctuary with grandparents. It need not be permanent.

[chanel5]

I can't believe that your Mum is truly a "helicopter parent".
If she was, she would be aware of the effect your stepfather's abuse is having on you, as helicopter parents live and breathe the experience of their children.
Either your Mum is not observant enough to realise the negative effect on you of the abuse, or she has observed it and has chosen to ignoree it.
Whichever is the case, you owe her no special consideration.
There is no "special" way to tell her that you want to leave.
Just come out with it - "Mum, I am not happy with the situation here and I am going to live with my grandparents to give myself time to restore my mental wellbeing".
Have your bags already packed before you say, this. After you say it, do not hang around for the inevitable argument.
Just pick up your bags and go.
That's what I did when I was 16.
It's hard, but you have to be strong.

[calmck]

Have you spoken to a school councillor. Maybe you and your grandparents should both go

[justteen]

Thankyou