Being gay and being a Teacher?

[enners23]

Is this a bad thing? my partner is a primary school teacher but is no-way going to come out to anyone at his school - he thinks its a bad thing to do. What are peoples views on this - would it be easier to come out if he was a senior school, College or Uni teacher/lecturer? Is it a bad thing altogether coming out as gay if your a teacher for parent's reactions?.............anyone had any experience or has advise? Would be great - thanks, Chris x

[B00]

I've no personal experience no, but why should your partner need to tell anyone anything? Surely his private life is just that- private?

[rojash]

Being gay and a teacher is not a bad thing, but knowing the ignorant prejudices of some people, being KNOWN to be gay and a teacher, might not be so great. I don't blame him for preferring to keep his head below the parapet.

[Quizmonkey]

There's a difference between a 'private life' and living a lie. In an ideal world he would be out, open and it wouldn't even be an issue - as it clearly isn't an issue. Unfortunately with the majority of heterosexuals being, to some degree, homophobic (yes, it's true before anyone starts reacting) and associating certain sexual deviancies with perfectly natural homesexuality, there may be a problem.

Obviously it's easier at senior schools - I know several out gay senior teachers.

[andy-hughes]

I would be inclined to adopt the attitude that sexuality is a private matter, and don;t make an issue of it. To 'come out' is to invite hostility and predjudice, if it's not a problem, don;t go looking to make it one.

If the issue does arise, your partner should deal with any incidents as they arise. He should expect the backing of the school, and needs to make as little fuss as possible.

As you will know, even in 2006, spciety can make life difficult enough for gay men, no sense looking for trouble.

[LaLa1705]

I agree with Boo, I don't go around having to say 'I'm straight' ,sexuality is nothing to do with work , people are firstly and foremostly people and being gay/striaght/whatever says nothing about you as a person in my opinion..... people aren't living a lie if they don't go about proclaiming their sexuality,they are just living...I liken it to going around saying 'Im funny, I'm kind,I'm lazy etc',it's just one of the many aspects of a person,it's not being secretive,I for one couldn't care less about 'labels' or oreientation , if you're a nice person that'll do for me!

[Quizmonkey]

LaLa: you're missing the point. Society assumes that you ARE straight, which is why proclaiming it is never an issue with you. But if there was a party or a function to which partners were invited you wouldn't think twice about bringing yours. But, a gay man/ woman who isn't out can't do that.

This claim that sexuality is a private matter just doesn't wash: being gay should not be a secret! If every gay man and woman were out, homophobia wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And I'm not talking about screaming from the rooftops or wearing badges - just expecting everyone else to accept one's partner and sexuality. How sad that even today that still seems too much to ask for a lot of people.

[Ethel]

Your partner should inform the head teacher, to be noted in confidence.

Then if any accusations ever do start (and teachers can be accused of some awful things) then he can honestly say he was hiding nothing, nor deceiving anybody.

I disagree that most heterosexuals are homophobic - most have no opinion one way or the other.

Privates should be just that - but when you are working with children you have to be seen to be honest and open. And you have to protect yourself.

[Carol Anne]

I agree with Ethel, the Head should be told for obvious reasons, but apart from that, it's not an issue. Your friend is there to teach and do a job. End of story.
When I was at school no teacher would ever have disclosed to students his/her sexual preferences, and quite right too, though we all had an idea who was who in school!

[LaLa1705]

Hi all, thanks for your points regarding my opinion Quizmonkey. I don't assume everybody is straight and it doesn't matter one jot to me whatever people are, I was just thinking that in Chris's partners situation he has a right to just live his life without announcing anything about himself. I wouldn't bat an eyelid whoever somebody attended an event with, and the more we can get on with simply living our lives hopefully the less intrusive and judgemental society will be...I was just expressing my view in response to Chris's question. Maybe I am an optimist but to me being gay is of no issue whatsoever, you can go to an event with a same sex partner without being 'out', the people who may have put perceived restrictions on this aren't worth even acknowleging anyway. I attended my friends'wedding on Saturday, he has never come out as gay ,he and his partner are just people like everybody else, their wedding was beautiful, with no announcement of the word gay....our circle of friends just see them as a great couple, isn't that how it should be?

The most outspoken people I have met have proved to be moronic bigots, racists and homophobes. I always voice my disgust at their attitudes if they raise their horrendous views with me, however this doesn't mean I have to announce my personal beliefs/orientation in the workplace in order to pre empt these idiots comments.It is personal choice at the end of the day. I totally support Chris's partner in his choice of living his life his way ,including his right to keep private whatever he prefers , at the end of the day we are all people, all different and if only everybody could accept each other as people first and foremost there'd be no perceived need to have to announce anything...These are just my opinions based on my experience. I hope Chris's partner doesn't feel pressured to come out, he is entitled to his privacy in any area he feels.

[joko]

say nothing.

unless he is taken to one side and questioned, don't bring it up.

some backward thinking parents, and possibly even some of the other teachers, will get the pitchforks out and possibly start a campaign to get him sacked...and the head will have to act if parents start keeping their kids away in droves.

as has been mentioned, many people still believe that homosexuals are all kiddy fiddlers and perverts at the mercy of uncontrollable predatory urges - its the whole "back to the wall in the showers" attitude.

its very wrong and stupid but it is indicative of mentality of great proportion of this country, unfortunately.

[Gef]

This is your partners business and no one elses. Employers have no right to know if you are gay, heterosexual, married, divorced, etc.

I am a teacher and pupils are often curious about your personal life. However what you tell them is entirely up to you.

Children can be cruel and rumours spread quickly. I think your partner is being very sensible.