Am I Right To Be Angry Or Am I Over-Reacting?

[tiggerblue10]

Little Tiggs' dad has been planning on taking him to Centre Parcs during the end of May bank holiday half term. They're going with another family with kids around the same age as Little Tiggs however his dad told me last night that the date its been booked for is 1st June, coming back on 4th June. The 4th June is a Monday and Little Tiggs is supposed to back at school on this day.

Basically we had an argument and I couldn't believe that the other family were, first of all taking their children out of school for one day (don't know what their school policy is but thats not my concern), and secondly, why was I not consulted. He argued that those dates were cheap and if they were to go earlier on in the week it would be very expensive.

I am fuming over this as the school may issue a penalty fine for an unauthorised absence. Little Tiggs' dad thinks that he can just call in sick but then there is the risk that Little Tiggs goes to school on the Tuesday and tells everybody about his holiday. He's already missed 4 days of school this term due to sickness and snow.

So, am I right to be angry or am I over-reacting?

[tiggerblue10]

I think its the CP in Norfolk and they will be travelling from Essex where his father lives. I live in Croydon so he'll need to bring him straight back here.

[woofgang]

I think you are right to be angry about not being consulted and I also think that saying "he didn't ask because he knew you would be angry" is no excuse. I think its important that you aren't portrayed as the baddie in this BUT if you are being responsible for the school stuff then either your decision is final or its up to dad to deal with the school and cough up for any fine....and yes I think it would be a good idea in the circs to be clear with the school that this is not by your choice or with your agreement.

[tiggerblue10]

Will the school care which parent is responsible for non-attendance though?

[jourdain2]

You say you are developing a decent relationship with the school, so I would simply go in and explain exactly what has been planned without your agreement. I would also be angry by the way. I assume that they have contact details for Little Tiggs' dad and they should take the matter up with him.

[Tuvok]

I'm going to speak up for the child.

Do you want him to miss 1 day of his holiday?

Explain to the school that he will be 1 day late. Perhaps the holiday dates were all that were available.

[tiggerblue10]

Yes, they do have contact details for his dad but he's never stepped foot in the school or had any other means of contact with them.

Of course I wouldn't want him to miss a day of his holiday but then I want to stick within the schools attendance policy and being that I'm his main carer I should have been consulted so I could point out the policy.

There was availability earlier in the week but it was too expensive.

[pixie374]

I wouldn't be angry, I would just have said no if I didn't agree with it.
The important thing is how it affects your son- especially with autism. My youngest is also and missing a day of school when he should be there would cause him a lot of anxiety. It isn't about tigg's dad or saving money. You know when you have school-age children that you have to avoid going term-time and that it is more expensive. It's also not something that you want to teach a child is the right priorities.
I would decide what is best for your son- and just tell them. Coming back the evening before might be a good compromise.

[tiggerblue10]

Thanks all for your responses. Having got it out of my system, I have calmed down now.

Will just tell his dad to bring him back the evening before as they would've had to check out around 10am anyway as FF mentioned. We went last year with my parents so I know about the cars driving around. We didn't do many activities as Little Tigs didn't want to do much so we ended up in the pool most of the time. He's not a very adventurous child.

[woofgang]

yes I do think that the school, if any good, will care which parent made the plans and will understand the circs when parents are no longer together....although from your last post it sounds as though your boy won't be missing any school.