What can I do?

[kat2206]

My son is 18years old, he has recently (within the last month) started a relationship with a 27 yr old with 4 kids... that doesnt bother me to a certain extent as I know I can't do anything about it anyway due to him being an "adult". So I have supported him in his decision... However, over the past few weeks her friend, who is a 32yr old male, not interested in said woman whom my son is with but he does have a problem with their relationship, have not a clue as to why..

Anyway, I digress, my son was walking to the bus stop this morning to get to college where this man is waiting for him and promptly punches my son in the face,twice.

Obviously I am now concerned for my son and I really do want him to think twice about this relationship... I know I can't make him stop seeing her but what can I do other than ship him off to another Country?

[B00]

Why did he punch him in the face? Are you sure your son is telling you everything?

And in answer to your question, there's nothing you can do, he however can go to the police for assault.

[Prudie]

What does your son say about it all? On face value the 32 yr old is either more than just a friend or the woman has told him something your son has done to upset her that you don't know about.

[kat2206]

Been to the Police and reported it, yes my son is telling the truth..

This "man" is 32 yr old, he was angry at the woman a few months earlier as she didnt want to go out with one of his mates, so when she started seeing my son, he took umbridge to that fact. He's 32!! he needs to get a life/job..

[B00]

I'd try to stay out of it as much as possible if I were you kat. I'm assuming you've already had "the talk" with him, to no avail? If you are seen to be nagging him, he'll only dig his heels in.

Kids eh? Dontcha just love em?

[firewatch]

well i would be contacting the police to report an assault, you can do that just asked mr f, they will send someone to come get a statement but not say who reported it to them. It sounds like the 32 needs a life and the fact the women dont want him speaks volumes!x

[Maydup]

I don't think there is much you can do Kat. Unfortunately once your son is old enough to chose his own path he also has to be old enough to deal with the ups and down of that path.

Continue to support him as you are doing and be there whenever either of them need you. The 32 yr old idiot is could have turned up in his life whoever he chose to date, he'll go away as soon as he came and they'll be the stronger for it I'm sure.

[kat2206]

We have contacted the police and they came this morning to take the statement.

So now I have myself and my partner, my son, his girlfriend and her 4 kids in my house as she is worried that this guy will start on her now too...eek!

To be honest I have had enough and just want to scream... in the last few months, my partner of 6 yrs has had an 10 month affair, I have found a breast lump (thankfully only a cyst), my other 19 yr old son has now found a lump and now my youngest has been punched and is in a relationship with a woman 9 yrs older than him with 4 kids!

What else can be thrown at me?

[B00]

Crikey Kat!

Must say, it's nice of you to help this woman out, not sure I would in your shoes, she's not exactly your problem is she?

[kat2206]

No, she's not but I was concerned that my boy wouldnt leave her house without her and, to get him away from the psycho guy, I bought them all back here. Her kids are bloody terrors too! The 6yr old went into a hissy fit at dinner time and refused to eat it, kicking the chair, radiator etc... I thin my level of patience with little ones has disappeared since having my lot hehe.

[B00]

Hope you've given her a timescale to get herself sorted Kat! And that she's going to contribute to your household whilst she's there.

[TheShakeperian]

And we wonder why this questioner has problems with her employers not allowing her 18year old son to live with her on school premises?
http://www.theanswerb.../Question1079393.html

[kat2206]

Well Boo, she didnt contribute to the dinner, which was fine... but she didnt offer to help wash up the dishes etc though which was a bit of a letdown. While I and my partner are at work tomorrow god knows what my home is going to look like...?

@ The Shakesperian, I dont understand your comment?

[ummmm]

What's that got to do with it TheShakeperian?

You're starting act and sound like DT now!!!

[kat2206]

I wish there was a "like" button Ummmm :)

[NOX]

The thing is people's personal relationships can be difficult, and your son is sticking by his partner when a psycho shows up, so good on him. She'll quite likely be family if he's serious about her, which he seems to be, so I think you'd better change tack and decide to like her come what may, and accept that occasionally these things happen and everyone is doing everything they can to sort the situation out, there's really nothing more you can do.

[carrust]

I'll lay odds that the relationship will be over by the New Year! She'll get all her kids presents bought for them by you & your son, then he'll be red-carded.
I do hope that I'm wrong, but I've seen this all too often.
BTW, where's the kids father?

[kat2206]

Nox - I do like her, she's a nice kid...

Carrust - I have already bought the kids Xmas presents, albeit something small though, she was talking about removing her coil so her and my boy can try for a baby... words failed me!!!!

Kids father Carrust?, try fathers'...

[B00]

Sorry, but can't agree with noxxy.

Whilst I sort of agree she has to accept his relationship (until, it goes pear shaped like Carrust says anyway) Kat doesn't have to accept this woman living in her house rent free and with a gaggle of kids to boot.

Personally, as i've said, i'd set a time frame for when this woman has to sort her life out and leave, if your son goes with her, fair enough, but do not let yourself become a doormat kat just to keep the peace with your son.

[kat2206]

I tend to agree Boo, I think when she leaves here if she does go back to her house I know/hope my son wont go with her as he knows he will be in for more physical harm.

I have told her that she needs to make a decision and act upon it tomorrow whilst i am out at work, I just hope she takes heed as my partner isnt so nice about telling people... I try to go down the gentle route wheras he would tell her outright that she needs to get herself together...

[ummmm]

I'm with B00. This man is apparently her friend...she should be dealing with it. Not putting herself and her 4 kids on her boyfriend, of one month, parents.