Bereavement and life after death

[monty0703]

When a loved one passes away obviously it's an extremely distressing time. However, (and I say that lighlty) if I truly believed in God and heaven and that I would see my dearly departed again in heaven, then I would find comfort and solace in that and that would help me through. Yet, there are some religious people who never get over the grief of losing a loved one despite believing in heaven. Just wondered what others thought..

[Stormrush]

My views are mixed on this I think but ever since I experienced Sleep Paralysis inc: hypagognic hallucinations, and seeing my body outside of my own ( this didnt happen near dying, it just happened) then I am open to believing that maybe there is life after death..

I'm aware that these can just be mind games installed by your own concience BUT... nonetheless, it has opened my mind :-)

[monty0703]

Thaks for your answer but I guess what I'm asking is WHY is bereavement so terrible for people who believe in God and heaven if they truly believe that they will see them again. Of course it is terrible to lose someone and not have them with you alive and well but I personally would take great comfort in knowing that I will see my loved ones again when I die.

[The Sherman]

Monty it is always sad when someone passes on and my girlfriend lost someone recently and know how hard it can be on friends relatives so my sympathies go out t you.
However I dont believe in heaven and I could say some really em how can we say... negative things about heaven so i Will give you the option now if you really want my opinion?
I will happily share it!

[monty0703]

Don't hold back! I haven't lost somone recently, I was talking about this with a friend the other night. I don't believe in God so I don't believe that I will see my loved ones in heaven. If I DID believe that then I am sure that my grieving would be, let's say, 'cushioned' by the knowledge of meeting up in heaven. By the way, I don't want to appear insensitive to anyone who has recently had a bereavement.

[Stormrush]

I'm not sure you can 'cushion' grief.
.
It's a terrible thing to have to experience wether you believe in the after life or not surely??

[monty0703]

I'm not saying it's not a terrible thing regardless of believing or not. I'm just asking if belief in heaven (ergo meeting loved ones again) tempers some of that grief a little bit. For me personally, I would take GREAT comfort in the knowledge that I would see them again.

[yinyang]

I know a couple of people who have believed in God / Heaven - the whole shebang - until they have experienced bereavement and then have turned their back on the whole thing rather than find strength from it.
I hope I can explain it ok - I think it's an anger at a God that has taken someone away from them and can no longer see a sense to 'God's plan' and why it would include this pain or - in these cases - the loss of lives that had barely began. Of course I can't speak for everybody in this situation, only those I have known. I have also known those whose beliefs gave them great strength.
I've never been particularly religious but after my Dad died last year a few well meaning people told me I would see him again in Heaven. I found this very little comfort as I missed him right there and then in my life everyday.
Hope I've made some sense.

[Stormrush]

I think it does make a lot of sense and if you do get comfort from this thought then who is anyone else to tell you any different. ( that isn't saying people are, it's just an insight)

Personally, answering montys question... No, I don't take comfort from this thought, but that really is just me!!

[The Sherman]

Sorry i misread that completely.

anyway Heaven then....


Well first off what if you get there and say another angel decides to go for the throne? you could wake up and there is a massice war on and you're caught right in the middle of it!

What if you get in and say your children don't? would it really be heaven for you?

What if you meet god and he shows you all the times he mudered and wiped out races on a whim and you didnt like it?

There are so many reasons for me to shudder at the very thought of going to heaven! I'd rather just not exist on death than take my chances in heaven!

[Stormrush]

I share those views too... Falling asleep and just closing your eyes into a black oblivion is ok by me, that way there are no judgements etc...

[whiskeysheri]

I can see what you're saying, monty.

My dad's side of the family are very spiritual and I think their beliefs really help them whenever they've lost someone in the past. However, I don't believe in any of it at all and because of that I think it makes it that much worse. I haven't lost anyone close to me since I was tiny (touch wood!), but I'm terrified of it happening because I believe that's it: the end. :(

I don't think the pain is necessarily lessened by believing in the after life, but just it gives a bit of hope and knowing that you'll be reunited at some point. I'd like to believe it, but I can't.

[Stormrush]

You explained that a lot better than I did...

That's exactlly what I meant..

That's 1 thing I lack is an understanding of explaining..

So thanks, I should have worded it better like that !!

:-)

[monty0703]

Whiskeysheri has hit the nail on the head. I totally agree. Like you, haven' t lost someone since I was young. I dread the day that it happens again because to me, that's it - the end. How wonderful it would be if heaven were true.

[keyplus90]

When someone loved by you passes away then it is very natural to be a bit sad and shed some tears. I just lost my sister-in-law (my eldest brother�s wife) last Wednesday and she was like a mother figure to me as when they got married I was only 7. I did cry a bit although now I am almost in early forties.

But belief in hereafter does help. Being a Muslim I believe that you should not cry too much and get out of control. Because it is God�s will. He brings people to this world and he takes them back. And then most important thing is that this life is temporary anyway. Otherwise no one should ever die. This might help.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inna_lillahi_wa_i nna_ilahi_raji'un

[monty0703]

I really wish I could believe in an afterlife. Life (and indeed, death) would be easier...

[123everton]

Where to begin?
I believe in heaven but I believe heaven is a spiritual realm there is no physicality just as one can't touch love, only feel it, one can only feel joy and happiness and that is the state that exists in heaven.
I tend to think that angels are borne only from the purest souls and that a child's soul is as pure as can be, so I draw comfort from the notion that, that soul was needed somewhere else more. That somewhere in this vast world a child in some dark and grim place was given a guardian a beacon, someone to whisper comfort and solace silently into their subconcious minds in times of strife and turmoil and that this child thus protected and guided will go on to do great things they may become great artists who bring joy to the world, they may become great sportsmen who bring belief to poor peoples or they may become great leaders who bring hope and justice to lands once wrought.

[whiskeysheri]

I know, monty. I would love to believe in something.

As I said, my dad is very spiritual, although not really religious, and we talk extensively about it. He has experienced and seen a lot of things to support his beliefs, but I really struggle with it. He is very philosophical when we've talked about death.

I already know what my grief is going to do to me when I do, inevitably, lose someone and I know a lot of that is going to come from believing I will never, ever be with them again.

[Octavius]

Because they are mourning the loss of that loved one in their lives, it doesn�t imply that there is doubt over the loved one being in heaven, or of meeting up in the afterlife.

The emotions we feel are now, in this life. Whilst we would believe that the person passing has gone to heaven or is �in a better place� it provides us with some ethereal comfort but it doesn�t automatically make us accept the loss we feel now.

[123everton]

Of course saying that you could love someone who was a complete and utter b@stard, what then?
I remember years ago when a work colleague died and a lot of the depot turned out for the funeral (myself included) he was (God rest his soul) something of an alcoholic and a very cantankerous old s0d (understatement) I got on quite well with him (apart from one row about Elsie Tanner off Corrie who I said was a right old boot, he begged to differ) without going into various details of his life and times and what he put his second wife(?) through I was stood in Thornton Crem and the Vicar was doing his sermon and he said this "she said there were many things she remembered about him and many things she'd sooner forget and then she asked me where is he now? And I had to say, I don't know..."
I talked with a lisp for a fortnight from biting my tongue so hard.
All names have been deleted to protect the guilty.

[Tups]

The trouble with a physical Heaven is, if you are a widow (like me) and remarry, what happens when you end up in Heaven with both husbands???