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age gaps

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rs-community | 01:37 Fri 09th Feb 2007 | Relationships & Dating
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im 43 - new boyfriend 28 - l put him off for ages but then fell for him - lots in common - chat for hours - fell like ive known him for ever - can talk about anything with him , even really personal stuff - been seeing him approx 8 weeks - but really scared of getting hurt - we talk every night on the phone for ages - we only get together one night a week as i have kids - too soon for him too meet . i find this very scary - what do you lot think? am i mad going down this crazy road???
  
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its just a number, and you are just two people, if you get on, age does not come into it, just try it and see what happens, what ever happens is because of the two people involved, not the ages of them

go for it, and enjoy yourself............
Question Author
thanks for that -half of me thinks - enjoy while you can but fallling big time - thats his favourite saying - age is just a number- but just a bit scared thats all......never felt so nervous - especially when i look in the mirror .......aaaaghh. ps dont think we look odd together as dont look too bad for my age and feel lots younger......any more comments valued.....
i'm sure you would feel the same, no matter what his age was, dont, just enjoy yourself...
My ex bf was 12 years younger than me. I was 39 when I met him and he was 27. I dont think anyone ever thought we looked odd together! I must be honest, it was good for a year and an ego boost for me but the age gap did bother ME when I thought long term. It never bothered him at all - not once.

I had the thought in my head that .. when I was 50 he would be 38 and when i was 60 he would only be 48. I used to say this to him and drive him crazy!!

I finished with him (not just cos of the age gap) and he is now back with his ex wife who 27 (I am so glad as they had kids).

I think it can work for you if both of you feel comfortable with the age gap. No relationships are guaranteed and I think yu should enjoy the 'now' with this man and relax and have fun. Good luck x
My mum had a relationship with a man who was 27 when she was 43. They stayed together for two years, but in the end they split because of the age thing.

It wasn't an issue to either of them in a physical, mental or emtional way asuch, but this guy hadn't had children, and although said he had never planned any - my mum was certain that she didn't want anymore (I was 19/20 when they began going out, and my brother was about 14/15) and would never want to get married again. I think she felt that she couldn't live with her self if he had gotten to 40 or 50 and wished that he had had his own children / got married, etc. It hurts her even now and they split about 3 years ago. I think they should have stuck it out for longer; they made a good couple, but I think mum always felt the end was inevitable and so ended it. From my point of view, if they had stayed together for the next 100 years and then he had regrets about having children, as long as it was something they had discussed and would have been aware of then she would have no reason to have blamed herself.

If you are both sure of your feelings, and make eachother happy there should be nothing to stop you from being together. Best of luck x x
Go go go, I think its 'easier' and more acceptable if the woman is older than the man in society. Age is just a number, I am 38 and always attract men much younger than me, last one was 23 ! I like you felt very apprehensive...but I look very good for my age, and am always told I look under 30! I love it ! Go for it girl, be happy and enjoy it, dont court disaster like i do, grab happiness and embrace every moment with this guy, he sounds great ! I am sure you deserve it!
Question Author
thanks so much everyone- feel a bit better now. i think i will take your advice and just go with it.
i think i will take the happiness whilst it is there and live for today. He is a lovely man and i am already hooked so here goes.

Thanks all for your best wishes x x x
Keep us all posted wont you!!
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will do.....thanks again x
Justa quickie - Just read my post back and realised i sound a bit negative which was not at all the intention - go for it, I wish you all the best x x x x x x
been thru it ... and it dont work .. all starts well .. but as time goes on the age gap screams out loud.

sorry ... but that's how i see it
I'm 24 and seeing a 42 year old guy. Don't worry about what other people think if you're happy that's all that matters :-)
G'day! My boyfriend is 35 years my senior... my family doesn't approve but I've stressed how happy he makes me and I think that's all that matters in the long run. If you're happy, and he's happy, everyone else will get use to it. My family hasn't just yet, but it has only been a year, so they've got a long way to go yet. I wish you all the best for the future, and if you're anything like me, you're just simply madly in love. ;-)
Hi,
Going thru similar myself. My "other half" is quite a bit older than me, but he has just got me mezmerised !! He is fantastic. My family do not agree & it is not even talked about !! But I believe you are only here once & if/when you find the right person, you have to go with it & forget about any comments. They're only jealous...be happy.
Has,
Here here! I second that opinion! ;-)
CactusButtus - Nice to hear a good word said about it, thanks. I have not talked to anyone about how/what I feel & its just nice to put my honest opinion across. Its also nice to know that I'm not alone as I was begining to think I was!!
Has - This is gonna sound weird, but I was wondering if we could exchange email addresses and keep in touch... almost as if we were to compare 'notes' so to speak... I would be interested to see how similar our situations are and if there are any real differences as such... if you're interested, my email addresses are [email protected] and [email protected] I have MSN and Yahoo, so don't hesitate to add me in those if you have them. :-)

Jaymee-Lee
Time represents opportunity cost that you took this and then you would lost some others. Different time with ways to go/growth according to the qualities provided and factors affected. If just for temporary happiness or fun, as all, you may like to take it if you have them known and how it will go for you. If for a long term, then in a long run you may go differently with the others at your age that depends if you want/need it like that and take it instead in your whole living.

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