to believe or not believe

[gingerflaps]

hi.... i have a freind who is 6weeks pregnant and her and her b/f swears that the child will not believe in santa. they say they will not lie to it, only to be let down when it gets older. they are athiests and do not believe in any religion, although they give presents for xmas and have xmas dinner with her parents, but they say they only do it because of tradition. They are adiment their child will not believe in santa, their families are disgusted and says its wrong for a child to not believe in santa. what do u think, should the child believe or not, will there be any negative things made out of it?

[phae]

i dont think theres anything too outrageous with their decision. I'v never been all that into making my kids believe in christmas, and indeed, I didnt bother celebrating the first two with my eldest child at all. But this year she is three and the nursery and her friends are putting enough ideas in her head that I would probably have a very slim chance of convincing her otherwise.

your friends may well change their minds... I'v never bothered with xmas, but this year I'm going all out!! I doubt either way is damaging to a child... but peer pressure might have a hand in things. When their child is at school, I doubt they're gonna want their child to be the one that drops the bombshell on all the rest!!!

[kick3m0n]

sit back and watch them cave in when their child is abotu 2 or 3 and going to Christmas parties at nursery, toddlers groups etc. Only the most hard hearted parent could deny their child the magic of Santa.....it's an exciting and fun time. It's such a pointless stance for them to take. Why inflict adult hang ups on a child??? Religious beliefs have nothing to do with Santa. And, you may wish to point out to them, that whatever their beliefs, child experts have found out that believing in santa is a GOOD thing for kids. it helps them understand very early on that good behaviour is positive, but bad behaviour is not. This helps them to grasp these concepts and issues liek right and wrong at a very early age, and studies have shown that their is absolutely no negative repurcussions when that child then finds out Santa doesn't exist. After all, were they scarred for life on discovering his non existence?? No, of course not.

I am laughing at their strident "I'll never lie to my child". Oh yes they will! Even if it's a silly lie like "Oh but sweetheart, we can't go to the park today, cos it's not open when it's raining".

Each to their own, but I do love these ideologically sound parenting strategies.

[jake-the-peg]

They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

Think that just about covers most of us parents.

As a somewhat comitted athiest ( hate the word but there you go ) We always have Christmas and presents etc.- I figure the Early Christians stole it off the Pagan world so why shouldn't the secular world steal it off of the Christians?

Father Christmas is only a problem if you stll believe in him when you're 20! - Maybe you could say the same about God

[kick3m0n]

LOL Jake, good post, I agree with you entirely!!!

[charliebaps]

nicely put jake

[gessoo]

I can still remember the joy and magic of believing in Santa and never remember feeling let down when I realised he didn't exist. It was never seen as a lie!! People like this stick to their principles regardless, even if it means denying their own child some innocent fun. And anyway, Santa has nothing to do with religion any more than the fairy on top of the Christmas tree.

I know a man who wouldn't even go to his own brother's wedding in a Church because he did not believe in God. What harm would it have done him? He upset his brother and spoilt his day by sticking to his so called principles.

Sorry, this makes me cross, but in the end it's your friends' decision and you just have to grin and bear it.

[Plocket]

It's your friends decision - but surely a bit of fantasy is important for a child's imagination? And what about fairies and "happy ever after"? Are they going to veto them too?

[libertie]

What........you mean there really is no Santa......I'm gutted!!!

[frizzytwig]

My son is 6 and has just started questioning the exsistance of Santa. He's certainly isn't upset by it, he's still looking forward to Christmas Day. I think I'm more gutted than he is, the magic of Christmas Eve night watching the excitement build up, Guinness & mince pies on the mantelpiece, it's all slipping away. Thats what children are all about, fantasy & imagination.

[funnywebsite]

Nobody has ever felt let down when they found out that Santa wasn't real. We all loved Father Christmas and it's part of growing up to find it was just a tradition of somebody pretending. What about the Tooth Fairy? Are they going to not have one of those also? What about the wish bone on a chicken? We all know it's a load of rubbish but we still do it. They are being stupid but it's up to them.

Just check their habits and see if they believe in the tooth fairy or wish bones etc.

[SGKelloe32]

Personally im glad my child believes in Santa, she is so excited at the whole prospect of christmas and this year she has just started to understand it properly.

Besides if nothing else, Santa bringing presents is an excellent way of getting them to behave themselves for fear of him not coming!

[bubblebubble]

I'm all for stringing kids along on believing in Santa, etc., I used to tell my brother that the ice-cream man had run out of ice-cream when he started playing the jingle in his van and when asked what the vinyl roof of my car was made of, I told him it was made of dead dogs' noses. He's grown up to be a totally normal bloke. Stealing imagination from kids is mean-spirited.

[crisgal]

oh bubblebubble, i thought i was the only one who did that! I told mine that if the jingle is playing it's to say goodbye as he's on his way home! Feel quite bad about it though!

And I swore that my children would not play with toy guns or eat sweets! Yeah, right!

[tntmoz]

They very well may not let her have this wonderful childhood fantasy but the bottom line is they haven't actually been parents yet! If everyone is attacking them before they even get started they probably have their feathers in a ruffle. My husband was horrified when I joked our child would play in or (gasp!!) )eat dirt and insisted it would never happen. That was the quickest way to upset him. Now 12 years and 4 kids later we still laugh about it! Everyone should ease up, whatever happens will happen naturally and it just won't be a big deal. Concentrate on loving the stuffing out of the kid, that is what the spirit of Old St Nick is all about anyway, isn't it?