Is it wrong to be keeping my options open?

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amalthia_77 | 14:32 Sun 04th Mar 2012 | Society & Culture
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I recently met and have been on two dates with a guy who's in the British army and currently serving in Afghan. He went back to Afghan the same night of our 2nd date and is out there for 5weeks, after which he will be returning home and hopefully will never have to serve in Afghan again. (see my previous question for more detail!)

The dates were very successful, we both got on extremely well and have said we want to see more of each other when he returns. We've been staying in touch through messages on fb so far (he's been gone 3 days!) I really like him and would love to make a go of things when he comes home, however due to me being me i'm already getting scared that he'll forget about me, and having doubts about the whole thing. He hasn't done anything wrong for me to be having these doubts, i guess i just have a lot of barriers up due to being hurt many times in the past.

So, I've had interest from 2 other guys that i met and knew before the army guy. One of whom i'd already arranged a date with, for next weekend, before the whole army situation happened. Both of the other guys i really like too...however not as much as army guy and if i had the choice i would choose him over them. However, I'm thinking maybe i shouldn't dismiss the other 2 just yet, not until I'm sure what the army guy really wants from me. I want to be loyal to him, but we're not in an official relationship yet. I don't want to hurt anyone, but i also don't want to be the one that gets hurt and to blow opportunities with some truly decent guys!

So please let me know if you think keeping my options open is a completely terrible wrong thing to do...or am i just being wise? Opinions greatly appreciated!


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Amalthia - your army guy is only away for five weeks, no time at all. Don't go out with the other two guys in that short space of time - wait and see what happens when your soldier comes home. You worry about him meeting other people on FB while he's away - don't you think he's having the same worries about you, since your relationship is so new (and how would you define an official relationship?!). You dating other guys while he's away won't give him confidence that you can be trusted to be faithful either - and you said in your other thread that this is only leave, he'll be on another tour of duty soon. If you are going to get involved with someone who's away a lot, faithfulness is going to be important to him. He's got enough to worry about in his day job at the moment, staying alive and looking out for his mates, without fretting that you might be seeing other guys. Don't do it. Wait for him.
I agree with boxtops. Trust is important in a relationship, once it's gone it's very hard to get back.

If you like him, then wait for him & give him a chance.

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