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Guy Fawkes

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AnnaBa | 18:41 Sat 04th Oct 2003 | People & Places
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At my local ASDA is a notice saying 'Speak to customer sevices if you want your ballon blown up'. Seemingly we are all within six steps of relating to each other. Which steps relate Guy to ASDA?
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The "six degrees of separation" theory generally only holds for connections between two living (or at least contemporary) people, where six steps can often prove to be quite a generous allowance. Trying to use it to connect someone who died hundreds of years ago to a current-day store will be problematic, as a greater number of people will be required to span the years. However, you could cheat and make do with the fact that some of Guy's descendants will almost certainly have shopped at ASDA...
Both were 'created' in Yorkshire, in the sense that Guy was born there and the Asda chain was initially formed by a group of Yorkshire farmers. So there's a link - of a sort - in one! Might one of these farmers have been a Fawkes family descendant? I'll leave you to establish that.
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Could it be that ASDA are the descendants of Guy's torturers? ASDA very painfully torture all who wander within earshot of their diabolically loud never-ending bad taste canned music and sales/staff announcements. Is it now that Jack's as good as his master by ASDA progressing to blowing up balloons? Could they be persuaded to have a go at Pop Idol next, do you think?
I knew a man who once met a man who said that he knew a man who knew a man whose father knew Cromwell. So going back in time that far should not be too difficult, even with only six steps.
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