Question for OUISCH

[THECORBYLOON]

OUISCH you said in a previous thread I owe you a new keyboard. 

Unless you can state the reasons, I will be forced to consult my Solicitor (and part-time cleaner of septic tanks) May Dupp-Naim-you have beeen warned!

[graemer]

Dear Mr Thecorbyloon. I am a partner with the law firm Suet and Pudding and we act for Mr. Ouisch. He particularly loves it when we do Hamlet. You will notice that our client has declined to respond to your rather threatening tone and indeed would welcome an approach by Ms. May Dupp-Naim anytime in the near future. You may expect correspondence from Prince Rainier and Louis the 16th at our earliest.

[netibiza]

Mr Suet Sir, may I get off your knee now and finish typing this letter xxx

[Louis XIV]

Louis XVI? Not in my lifetime.

[THECORBYLOON]

graemer, unfortunately Ms. May Dupp-Naim is busy (I think her words were "Up to her neck") cleaning septic tanks. One woman's outbreak of food-poisoning is another's meat as they say.

Anyway, I have decided to engage the servives of another local firm FLEESAM, SCARPER & HYDE. They believe in employing relatively younger members of The Law Society (they call them "The Boys") and if you give them Ouisch's address, they will be sent round ASAP. 

[graemer]

Dear Mr The Corbyloon. Owing to the good work done by our secretary Mrs Netibiza we have hired her Brother-in-law Mr. Percy Kreem as a partner and we are now Suet,Pudding and Kreem. Unfortunately Louis the 14th feels slighted and has left.

Mrs. Netibiza has also graciously agreed to taking on your Mrs Dupp-Naim in a jelly wrestling contest to decide the matter. Yours etc.

(You can get down now Mrs Netibiza)

[THECORBYLOON]

graemer  I have spoken to MS May Dupp-Naim and  she asks that you pass on this massage to Mrs Netbiza "YO ASS IS GRASS AND I'M THE LAWNMOWER" Word!

[graemer]

Dear Mr. Corbyloon,
In lieu of your latest threat we have no option other to inform you that it will now be a tag team jelly wrestling match and that the esteemed Mrs.Ibiza will be partnered by....Madge.B! Be afraid. In jelly no one can hear you scream. Yours Suet, Pudding and Kreem.

[THECORBYLOON]

graemer who is Mrs Ibiza? Is this your feeble attempt to confuse me or is she a Beauty Queen? I have no other option than to introduce BRENDA THE ELEPHANT.

She often accompanies me as I stroll around Church roofs of an evening and gaze at the fire-red skies and the firemen as they put out the burning cars.

      
As for the jelly, surely it should be jelly and I scream?

[graemer]

Mr. Corbyloon you mock me sir with you question about our esteemed Mrs. ("Miss most likely to" Butlins 1948) Ibiza.
She recalls your Brenda cheating at bingo and relishes the chance to make amends. You may be wondering where is the centre of all this Mr Ouisch. Well now be very very very afraid, Umm, Mr. Ouisch?

[netibiza]

I wish to advise you messrs that I am resigning my post as sexretary - there is no way I am facing up to BRENDA THE ELEPHANT - my pretty ex miss ibiza face of long ago would be ruined - it's all hanging down now without Brenda sitting on me.  G'bye

[THECORBYLOON]

graemer Brenda The Elephant insists the incident involving her and Mrs Netibiza was an unfortunate accident (I have spoken to a friend, Judge Anne Dury and she thinks the courts will find in our favour) an elephant wi a dicky tummy is not pleasant I agree and it is no wonder the caller didn't hear Mrs N call "House."

Yes, where is OUISCH?

[graemer]

Hi TCB I just saw your answer in the quizzes and the reason why you had to leave. I laughed so hard because it was said so straight and no seemed to bat an eyelid! Perhaps we should end here, well done! Anyway I gave them Louis's answer from people and places. How busy does it get in there tho!

[THECORBYLOON]

Oh I see, so I'm left with 1500 packets of pineapple flavour jelly and an overweight big-eared rampant female with a BO problem and an insatiable craving for buns and peanuts. As for Brenda The Elephant........  

[graemer]

Oh sorry Mr.C. To make up for it the esteemed mrs N. and myself ,will sing the 5th verse of the national anthem whilst riding Brenda nude.

[THECORBYLOON]

Look, if you're not going to take this matter seriously.....

[netibiza]

No No I have to interject here graemer (mr Suet Sir) - Brenda the elephant has to ride you whilst you sing the 5th verse of National Anthem (what country would that be) but be rest assured I still am not working for you ever again as you put me is sooo much danger!!!!

[THECORBYLOON]

Sorry, but I have been contacted by Annie Malrytes of the RSPCA and under a Victorian Act of 1867, elehants are banned from being used as jockeys. What a bunch of killjoys the Victorians were eh?

[graemer]

I have just now discovered on another thread that the esteemed Mr. Ouisch is in fact Mrs. Ouisch. Why wasn't I told!. Thank heavens that fool of a secretary has quit.

[THECORBYLOON]

I suppose that makes Ouisch's victory in yir recent Belching contest even harder to swallow.....I still don't know why I owe Ouisch a new keyboard..... 

[graemer]

Exactly corby and i feel just as mystified as to why talli 122 askes why "sexy beast" has a scene that created cinema history, boasts that he knows the answer then refuses to reveal it. Would you represent me in my action against him?