I have to make a speech at my BF's wedding

Bbbananas | 09:05 Tue 17th Feb 2009 | ChatterBank

53 Answers

(BF in this instance meaning best friend, not boyfriend - that would be just TOO weird).
Anyhow - I want to make it funny, but not too rude or revealing because of the oldies & rellies present. So I have ruled out mentioning that I sha55ed the groom before the bride did (it's ok - the bride is aware of that fact) , but will it be alright to mention my BF's bladder problems since childhood and other embarrassing moments that perhaps the groom's side are unaware of?

yet another answer on the boring one from stompe

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4getmenot

I wouldnt have thought so. There are good books on how to write speaches, get one of those.

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Bbbananas

Question Author

A good start Zac, a good start.....
I especially like the Tena Lady sponsorship reference.

As for the cast-off reference - someone i the rugby world last week referred to it as "I don't mind him (her) having my slops..... do you think that would go down well at a wedding feast?!!

PorcelainGod

off course it will, belittle him all you can.

PorcelainGod

mention his small wiener and reference the egg timer joke too.

Bbbananas

Question Author

PG - I was joking about the being-there-first bit - of course I wouldn't bring that up....
I don't want to belittle anyone - I just want to make a funny speech because my friend is known as being a very funny lady but I don't want to go too far, as is my wont.

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Bbbananas

Question Author

Zac my man, you are giving me some great ideas....

She had an early menopause though, and he's had a vasectomy - so perhaps that may not go down too well ?!

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sqad617

Morning salla.
I agree with 4getmenot......taking the p1ss out of the groom (sorry about the pun) is not a good idea. I cannot think of a funny joke at the moment, but will put my mind to it. In the meantime I would describe, as best you can, events in the early life of rhe bridegroom e.g school, holidays...but give boyfriends a miss. Remember it is your friends day and not the "sallabananas show". Salla, am I the only person you haven't sh@gged? LOL LOL

Bbbananas

Question Author

Oh dear. First of all - the bit about mentioning previous shennanigans was only a joke, and I would not dream of mentioning it; esp at their wedding. (Neither will I mention any of her former loves such as the Portugese toyboy, or the Greek-Cypriot Conman). I thought peeps would know I was only jesting on that score.

Secondly sqad - I have not actually "had the pleasure" of that many. I can count them on both hands & still have digits left, so maybe that's a wrong impression I've given here?

sqad617

salla...so, so sorry...unforgivable of me, I didn't mean it to sound that I was discrediting you.

You have missed nothing with me my love, as I am a foreplay man.......can't abide all the shrieking, shouting and all that "pummelling" stuff.

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sqad617

zac.....bl00dy tell me about it!!!!

Bbbananas

Question Author

Oh no he hasn't....

He's a "foreplay man".
There is nothing wrong whatsoever in that.

sqad617

See zac.........LOL LOL
salla loves me...seeeeeeee!

Bbbananas

Question Author

Oh sqad - another time, another place, another decade... who knows what might have been?!!