ChatterBank1 min ago
angry at a consultant
21 Answers
my brother who is in his 70s has just learned a few weeks ago he has Mesothelioma caused by working with asbestos 20+ years ago
he know this is terminal and nothing but palliative treatment is all that can be done ,BUT what angered his wife and rest of his family and me was that without asking how long he had had left which he or his wife did not wanted to know said "you have a year !"
of course this has been devastating to start with but being given A TIME is even more so
its ruined what time he has left in his life knowing that it's 1 year we are going to complain to someone about this .too late for my brother but could spare some other poor soul from knowing without asking first
he know this is terminal and nothing but palliative treatment is all that can be done ,BUT what angered his wife and rest of his family and me was that without asking how long he had had left which he or his wife did not wanted to know said "you have a year !"
of course this has been devastating to start with but being given A TIME is even more so
its ruined what time he has left in his life knowing that it's 1 year we are going to complain to someone about this .too late for my brother but could spare some other poor soul from knowing without asking first
Answers
sorry Sqad the fact is that consultant doesn't KNOW how long this poor man has. He has an informed opinion and thats all and any information offered (not thrust) should be on that basis. I agree that someone in the family should know that the illness is terminal and that the treatment is palliative and ideally that person should be the patient who can then decide...
11:13 Tue 23rd Nov 2010
i can see where you are coming from, but poor old consultants are damned if they do and damned if they don't i'm afraid. I would however, like his/her crystal ball, because "you have a year" seems very specific. I have looked after patients who struggle if they get less than the prognosis, but conversely people who struggle coming to terms with still being alive and well after a year
Should someone be told of their prognosis without asking? There is no definitive answer to that question.
I was a Consultant for 40 years and I tried to make certain, that at least someone in the family knew the prognosis as one has to be prepared for the inevitable in so many ways.
Was the Consultant negligent for telling your brother without someone asking......NO.
I was a Consultant for 40 years and I tried to make certain, that at least someone in the family knew the prognosis as one has to be prepared for the inevitable in so many ways.
Was the Consultant negligent for telling your brother without someone asking......NO.
Sorry to hear about your Brother deggers ! The Consultant was very tactless especially as neither you or the Family had asked how much time approximately that he had left to live. I hope for everyone's sake as well as himself, that he defies the odds and lives as long as possible under the circumstances, free of any pain as well.
All the best to you and your Family !
All the best to you and your Family !
I am sorry about your news, truly.
What an insensitive consultant he has. Is it possible for him to change consultants and for you or someone complain to someone higher up now? I know and appreciate that you have your minds elsewhere at the moment. But best to do it now before you are dealing with grief as well?
I do wish you all the best and do not go on the 1 year timescale, take it as it comes, enjoy every day to the last.
Love to you all at this hard time.
What an insensitive consultant he has. Is it possible for him to change consultants and for you or someone complain to someone higher up now? I know and appreciate that you have your minds elsewhere at the moment. But best to do it now before you are dealing with grief as well?
I do wish you all the best and do not go on the 1 year timescale, take it as it comes, enjoy every day to the last.
Love to you all at this hard time.
I would feel angry too. I think doctors have a duty to tell the truth to people who ASK. If your brother had wanted to know he would have asked. A doctor/consultant has, as you say, ruined your brother's final year.
I too would complain. The consultant was out of order in my opinion. He should, at the very least know what effect it has had on your brother and his family.
You need to complain through PALS, which you can ask about at your hospital.
http://www.pals.nhs.u...tView.aspx?ItemID=932
PALS actually have an office in most large hospitals or at least a liaison officer.
I too would complain. The consultant was out of order in my opinion. He should, at the very least know what effect it has had on your brother and his family.
You need to complain through PALS, which you can ask about at your hospital.
http://www.pals.nhs.u...tView.aspx?ItemID=932
PALS actually have an office in most large hospitals or at least a liaison officer.
I agree with HJT. It happens very often that the patient doesn't want others to know. Consultants can get very flippant in my opinion. Some of them need training on how to handle patients in such situations and it won't hurt for this particular consultant to be questionned about what he did. Not negligent exactly but certainly not appropriate action.
The Consultant who diagnose my father with Mesothelioma told us it was quality of life not quantity and that was trying to alleviate his pain and suffering, he didnt want to give a ruff estimate on my fathers life span, he died within 3 months at the age of 50. I dont think your brothers consultant should have said unless the family wanted to know.
<<<he know this is terminal and nothing but palliative treatment is all that can be done ,<<<
So you brother knew what the Consultant was just confirming.
Lofty
>>>>A doctor/consultant has, as you say, ruined your brother's final year. >>>
Nonsense.....what did the patient expect from his "final year?"
Supposing that nobody in the family knew of his impending death and that without warning, the patient died? The cry would then have been " We didn't know he was going to die, the Consultant didn't tell us"
Medicine is all about people living and dying, children being knocked down by cars etc and it is all in a days work. Sometimes your guard slips and you are not as sensitive in retrospect to the situation.....it happens in all walks of life........Consultants are human beings with human failings.
So you brother knew what the Consultant was just confirming.
Lofty
>>>>A doctor/consultant has, as you say, ruined your brother's final year. >>>
Nonsense.....what did the patient expect from his "final year?"
Supposing that nobody in the family knew of his impending death and that without warning, the patient died? The cry would then have been " We didn't know he was going to die, the Consultant didn't tell us"
Medicine is all about people living and dying, children being knocked down by cars etc and it is all in a days work. Sometimes your guard slips and you are not as sensitive in retrospect to the situation.....it happens in all walks of life........Consultants are human beings with human failings.
squad
there's a vast difference knowing that your going to die before your time, but being told when is out of order, it could be he has 18 months but he got it in his head now it all over in 1 year,of course it could be less than one year
but its should be up to the PATIENT to ask how long !! .ive work in the nhs for 41 years,the vast majority of consultants / surgeons are excellent but the bedside manner so to speak of some leaves a lot to be desired
ill leave it at that.
there's a vast difference knowing that your going to die before your time, but being told when is out of order, it could be he has 18 months but he got it in his head now it all over in 1 year,of course it could be less than one year
but its should be up to the PATIENT to ask how long !! .ive work in the nhs for 41 years,the vast majority of consultants / surgeons are excellent but the bedside manner so to speak of some leaves a lot to be desired
ill leave it at that.
when my dad was in hospital in his final weeks a doctor told him that if he stopped breathing or had a heart attack that they would not try recusitate him,that put the fear of god in him and it was all downhill from there for him really....i was angry with the doctor for telling him that did he really need to know that??i dont think he did...im sorry to hear about your brother deggers...
Wasn't there a case not long ago, I'm a bit vague about it but someone else might know, where someone sued a consultant because he didn't tell him the full truth? And since then they are obliged to tell you. Personally I don't want to know. I would be living what was left waiting for the end. What's the point in that. When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer the doctor told my mother, not my father. He never found out and that's how it should be IMO.
Save your energy to care for him and fight for his right to compensation:
http://www.asbestosis.org.uk/
http://www.asbestosis.org.uk/
Sqad, Not nonsense at all. The patient need not have known it was his final year. Being told that it is will ruin any quality of life that he might still have. Some people live in hope and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The consultant was out of order, totally.
It might be "all in a day's work for consultants and doctors" who can switch off when they go home, but they also should think before they open their mouths. Some people want to be told how long they have to live, others definitely do not. Most decent doctors will act accordingly.
It might be "all in a day's work for consultants and doctors" who can switch off when they go home, but they also should think before they open their mouths. Some people want to be told how long they have to live, others definitely do not. Most decent doctors will act accordingly.
