Im Panicking Because I Forgot To Take My...
Society & Culture2 mins ago
I think , between 11-12 noon should be THE "TELL YOUR JOKE" HOUR
9 Answers
Colonoscopy
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
'I should be in charge,' said the brain , 'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would
happen.'
'I should be in charge,' said the blood , 'Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.'
'I should be in charge,' said the stomach,' Because I process food and give all of you energy.'
'I should be in charge,' said the legs, 'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'
'I should be in charge,' said the eyes, 'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'
'I should be in charge,' said the rectum, 'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a fe w days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The arsehole is usually in charge
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
'I should be in charge,' said the brain , 'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would
happen.'
'I should be in charge,' said the blood , 'Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.'
'I should be in charge,' said the stomach,' Because I process food and give all of you energy.'
'I should be in charge,' said the legs, 'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'
'I should be in charge,' said the eyes, 'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'
'I should be in charge,' said the rectum, 'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a fe w days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The arsehole is usually in charge
Answers
1 to 9 of 9
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There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not
in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks
solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so
caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming
easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my
car,making love?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues....
"Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said,
"Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says......
"I would have gotten out today."
in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks
solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so
caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming
easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my
car,making love?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues....
"Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said,
"Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says......
"I would have gotten out today."
1 to 9 of 9
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