When working at a railway station I've apologised for "delays caused by track adhesion difficulties due to compacted vegetation debris", simply because I couldn't bring myself to say "because of leaves on the line".
I've also started an announcement (telling passengers that they'd got to cross the footbridge for a third time, after 3 successive platform changes) with "The signaller at Colchester has asked me to tell you that he's 'having one of those days' . . . "
Upon seeing loads of people in fancy dress waiting for a train, all dressed as spacemen, I've announced "The space travellers on Platform 2 are advised that there are essential engineering works taking place in the outer arm of the crab nebula due to a hole in the space-time continuum, with bus replacement services operating between some galaxies".
However (because there were managers around) I was too cowardly to make the announcement that I really longed to make when we had the Orient Express on Platform 3. I really, really wanted to say, "Here is a customer announcement. If there is a Monsieur Poirot on the station - that's a Monsieur Poirot - would he kindly not board the train on Platform 3 as other passengers are hoping for an uneventful journey"
;-)