Children or partner?

[tinkerbell23]

Watching this morning....

Theyre discussing folk saying who they love most their kids or their OH?

A guy said his wife before his kids and has sparked a bit of outrage?

Others say same, some say its a different love!?

Blood is thicker than water???

Im pretty sure once my dad told me "well i chose to marry your mum" lol...which i took that he chose her and not me...so i wonder who is fave is eh!!!


Xxxxx

[daffy654]

My kids will always come first. I think women have a much closer bond with their children than men do (in general) because we carry them in our own bodies for 9 months.

[andrew1707]

When the kids leave, the missus is all I'll have left.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh two separate strands of the same emotion in my mind.

The love for your partner is ever changing and growing - from the sheer chemistry of early days filled with passion, developing into feeling that the two of you are part of a whole and as you grow togehter there is almost no memory of being a single soul.

The love for your children is so absolutely overpowering from that first moment they enter the world, you become the universal soldier, determined to stave off all the world will throw at them - you don't of course you let them grow with love and eventually let them fly with their own wings, knowing they will return to you.

[tinkerbell23]

I cant really comment i guess being childless but it was interesting.

When i think of mates, i think some should put their kids first more when it comes to partners xx

[wolf63]

andrew - nah! You have a niece and nephew and a lovely sister.

[Bambiagain]

For my OH it will always be his daughter. I once said to him that if both she and I were drowning he would save her rather than me. He said he'd save both of us, but I know which would be first. She is nearly 24 and in her final year at university. He helps her with all her work. I am not allowed to suggest that perhaps she ought to stand on her own two feet now before she goes out into the big, bad world, because as he says I have no children of my own and don't know what I'm talking about. What he doesn't realise is that I do understand that she comes first, but I'm afraid he's smothering her.

[missnemesis]

I love both my OH and my children absolutely however they are different kinds of love.

When my two were growing up my OH knew that they always came first - he was a big boy who was more than capable of looking after himself, the children at that time weren't. Once he got his head around that things were fine (just as well really, if he had ever asked me to choose it would have been his @rse right out the door, no questions asked, and he knew it.)

Despite my girls coming first, as a husband he has wanted for nothing and now that they are up and (almost) independent he pretty much has my undivided attention. When I'm not on here of course ;-)

[annie0000]

read the story - it started off about who you would save if you needed to chuck folk out of a hot air balloon to save the rest - and started of with Mother Teresa v Ghandi, that sort of thing and then the woman said "me or the kids" and he said he would chuck himself out and she pushed him and he didn't know what the right answer was supposed to be, but his wife was horrified saying that for her it would be chuck him and save the kids and that surely he should feel the same?

[andy-hughes]

I feel love for all my family, but in different ways, as others have advised.

i think anyone who starts apportioning their love for one individual family member over another is asking for trouble, and being utterly cruel as well.

Who ever wants to think they come second-best to a parent or partner's love?

It's a bizarre theme for a conversation - i would have no truck with it all if it were ever raised with me - not that it would, it's not something that occurs.

[missnemesis]

Of course in an ideal world tink's question would never arise A-H but for some people it does. You only have to read smowball's post of this morning to be aware that people can and do feel threatened by their partner's/children's/sibling's love for others.

Tis perhaps not a nice thought but most people have probably asked a 'me or them' type question of their partner.

[andy-hughes]

Indeed missnemesis - and I would imagine that any relationship where such a question was voiced has problems.

[mrs_overall]

There was an article in the paper (the Daily Mail....oh the shame!) along similar lines. The author asked his wife who she would jettison from a balloon in an emergency.
She said she would jettison the hubby, and the hubby said he would jettison the kids.
I love Mr O dearly but he would be the one I would jettison, not the kids.

[rowanwitch]

or when a friend asked her husband the ballooon question he said 'I'd jump you could look after the kids I'd be rubbish at it it makes most sense...'

I didn't have kids my other half at the time said if it wa me or him it would be better if I jumpsed as it would lighten the balloon more.

[ummmm]

It's a completely different love.

If push come to shove....I will always pick my kids.

[craft1948]

My daughter means the world to me................husbands are interchangeable.

[andy-hughes]

Does that mean wives are as well craft?

[craft1948]

You'd better ask the current Mrs Hughes Andy................

[chaptazbru]

No children (yet), but love my dog to death, my OH knows dog comes first !

[andy-hughes]

Actually craft, I'll leave that one alone thanks. The present Mrs Hughes is a seriously honest individual, I'd really rather not know!!!

[Smowball]

I think in the panic of the moment maybe you would automatically go for the weakest swimmer??