I've Come On Here For A Rant..

[Jeza]

Only because I have no one else to use as a sounding board. Mic has been a real *** today. Told me to F off at least half a dozen times, spat his food out, tried to bite me, the list goes on. I told him I'm not putting up with this from him so I'm going out. I didn't go out just sat on the step and wondered where my life was going. When I was on the step he was calling me all the time then he started to cry. I went back in and he told me how sorry he was. We had tea and cake and then he had a nap. When he woke he was again abusive. I said I thought you were sorry he said F off.

So I'm playing this song for me. Thanks for listening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzpb3TC-Vxk

[murraymints]

Jeza..hugs ....this is all part of the illness....you really must arrange some respite care to get a break or you'll crack up and be no good to anyone...I was reluctant to do it when caring for Fil ..but it's the only way to keep you sane...you MUST speak to social services jeza... xx

[2sp_]

Jeza, I would weep for you and Mic. Such a difficult time you are going through. MM is right, you really need to speak to Social Services about getting some help.

Sending hugs.

[Tilly2]

Jeza, is it time to re-think your promise to Mic?

[Jeza]

The word I used was A r s e. I get help from the carers, he is rude to them too. Since Mic has been home I have seen the social worker once and that was 3 days after he came out of hospital. Care in the community, that's a laugh.

[Jeza]

Tilly, I broke my promise when Mic went into hospital, I'm not breaking this one.

[Tilly2]

OK, jeza. You just seem to be suffering so much.

[2sp_]

Get on to your GP and create holy hell about the Social Worker. It's just not on that you are left to get on with all this by yourself.

[woofgang]

so sorry Jeza.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SHK4J392rI

[murraymints]

Jeza a week or so break every now and then is not breaking your promise...if you fall apart it will be a permanent arrangement in care for Mic...you must must must do this...I have this T shirt ...I've walked in these shoes....please listen to me Jeza....xxx

[nungate]

Then you have to be the one who chases them up Jeza. You are no use to Mic or yourself if you burn yourself out. Get onto Social Services and tell them what you need and put a rocket under them until you get the help you both need. I've had a few run ins with social services myself and know they can be a total p.i.t.a. but sometimes they actually can help Get yourself a break, you'll be better for it, and so will Mic

[Rosetta]

Has there been a change in his behaviour Jeza, is he usually so abusive. If there has been a change it may be an idea to get the doc to check him out to see if there is an underlying cause eg an infection.
Contact Social Services and ask them to visit, if he is getting worse he may need re-assessing. You need to talk to them to see if you should be getting any other support.

[tonyav]

Aw, sorry to hear this, Jeza. Please listen to the advice being given by those that have been in your shoes. Jeza you need a break.

[boxtops]

Jeza, you know Mic doesn't mean it, but that doesn't help.... you must chase up Social Services, you must get some help. If you fall over, because you can't do it all, that's not going to help. You must ask for help, get a day off (or even a few hours) each week.

[Jeza]

The old Mic would never speak or act this way, to me or anyone else. I refuse to give up on him. Going into a home is not an option. I can only imagine how they would treat him if he spat his food out or tried to bite them. He would probably end up dehydrated and battered. So NO NO NO.

[boxtops]

...but you can't possibly do it all on your own, jeza. If someone else could come in just for half a day, to give you a break - that could make so much difference to you. You must be exhausted.

[black_cat51]

thats not true 2sp, if you are a "self funder" social services don't have to do anything

[murraymints]

Respite was in the hospital for Fil where they were well used to this behaviour...he was cared for very well..and the breaks meant I was able to carry on for 4 years caring for him...or..he would have been put in home if I was unfit physically and mentally ...which is worse scenario ?...a wee break for you now and then or Mic in home permanently ....?

[Rosetta]

agree with murraymints, respite would give you a much needed rest.
If Social Services aren't involved at the moment contact them and also ask for a Carers Assessment. They are duty bound to do this, and you need to tap into additional support

[Jeza]

Carers due, back soon after much thought.

[gness]

Jeza...if you choose carefully there are good homes.....we made sure Mum got into the one we wanted and we can't fault the care.

She is so well looked after...better than we could do no matter how we tried....

Give it some thought, please......I know you would take every care in choosing.....and in keeping tabs on Mic's care....

Gx