Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
self-worth
39 Answers
food for thought - does any of the ABers when they feel really low and negative and all the words associated with the above - feel a bit better when they go on to this site. Last year as you all know I was in a dark place but thanks to many of you I rode above it though tentatively - however, it is still lurking in there somewhere but when it rises I come to my oul "friends". Thanks ABers.
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Connemmara. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Very rarely do i feel "low and negative" and if i did, i would not broadcast it through the www. to all and sundry.
Unless one has a recognized psychiatric disorder in which case i would seek expert assessment, then feeling a bit low is a normal reaction to the vagrancies of everyday life and i would "shape up" and face them head on.
AB does indeed give a shoulder to rest upon during such times, but it does not appeal to me.
Unless one has a recognized psychiatric disorder in which case i would seek expert assessment, then feeling a bit low is a normal reaction to the vagrancies of everyday life and i would "shape up" and face them head on.
AB does indeed give a shoulder to rest upon during such times, but it does not appeal to me.
Like Sqad, I wouldn't advertise on here how I felt if I was in a negative mind frame as I'm not interested in cyber hugs or nice words, comforting and as well intentioned as they may be. It's not exclusive to online either, I would not necessarily tell any friends or loved ones how I was feeling either until I was sure I needed some advice or things got too much, I also don't want hugs or kind words then either as for me it doesn't solve the problem. Also I think to dwell too much on a negative mood is to indulge it and keep it festering. Sometimes they don't just go and then relevant action must be taken, but for me relevant action is rarely to make a song and dance about how I'm feeling, that would personally make me feel worse.
This a topic I've thought about because I don't post too many problems on here and haven't experienced the cyber hugs either. I can see that it's a massive support to those who seek it though. I do sometimes add my condolences etc to other's threads as I don't want to be thought of as cold but I'm incredibly uncomfortable doing it.
Prudie
\\\ I do sometimes add my condolences etc to other's threads as I don't want to be thought of as cold but I'm incredibly uncomfortable doing it.\\
This always worries me, not being thought of as feeling cold, but sending condolences to ABers that i do not know in person, have never met and never likely to and worse still, friends and siblings of ABers.......
To me this is bordering on hypocrisy.....and I never get involved......mainly because i am just no good at it.
But it is appreciated.....apparently and we have seen examples of this many times within the last few weeks and I assume that the recipient does benefit and on AB there are plenty of donors.
\\\ I do sometimes add my condolences etc to other's threads as I don't want to be thought of as cold but I'm incredibly uncomfortable doing it.\\
This always worries me, not being thought of as feeling cold, but sending condolences to ABers that i do not know in person, have never met and never likely to and worse still, friends and siblings of ABers.......
To me this is bordering on hypocrisy.....and I never get involved......mainly because i am just no good at it.
But it is appreciated.....apparently and we have seen examples of this many times within the last few weeks and I assume that the recipient does benefit and on AB there are plenty of donors.
I like the idea of being influential... I'm not but it's a nice idea!
Prudie: I don't mind contributing to them sometimes, I often feel sorry for people but I don't contribute on every single one as sometimes I don't think the problem is that great or I think the person is being attention seeking or I'm just really not interested or have no nice feelings towards the poster, sadly I'm not one of those people who is compassionate to anyone suffering, my compassion is limited. I don't think anyone should feel they have to say anything on threads like this if it makes them uncomfortable just so that other people don't think they're a cold person! I know I'm a very good person, the people that count (on here and anywhere else) also know it, so the only people who might think otherwise are no opinions that matter to me. Don't worry about not doing it if you don't feel like it, we can not all overflow with the milk of human kindness, it does not mean you're a bad person ;o)
Prudie: I don't mind contributing to them sometimes, I often feel sorry for people but I don't contribute on every single one as sometimes I don't think the problem is that great or I think the person is being attention seeking or I'm just really not interested or have no nice feelings towards the poster, sadly I'm not one of those people who is compassionate to anyone suffering, my compassion is limited. I don't think anyone should feel they have to say anything on threads like this if it makes them uncomfortable just so that other people don't think they're a cold person! I know I'm a very good person, the people that count (on here and anywhere else) also know it, so the only people who might think otherwise are no opinions that matter to me. Don't worry about not doing it if you don't feel like it, we can not all overflow with the milk of human kindness, it does not mean you're a bad person ;o)
"To me this is bordering on hypocrisy.....and I never get involved......mainly because i am just no good at it." Sqad you are spot on but you are so well known no-one would expect any different from you. I sometimes wonder if I could start all over again on AB would I be any different. It might be quite nice to announce I had a cold and get 50+ cyber sympathy cards.
cyberhugs can be underrated. It's true they don't communicate actual physical warmth, but they are evidence that someone is paying attention to you and responding to what you post here. This doesn't always happen in real life with real, non-anonymous people. And sometimes the advice offered is not just conforting but sensible and valuable.
At the very worst time spent talking to others, even if it's just online, means a little less time spent worrying about your own state of mind.
At the very worst time spent talking to others, even if it's just online, means a little less time spent worrying about your own state of mind.
I certainly don't broadcast if I have a bad stomach and feeling ghastly - but if there were a life-affecting matter here (as some have had) I think I would come for some advice and support from my cyber-friends here. There is great value, IMO, in the anonymity on this site, it means we can air things we wouldn't air to our friends and family without fear of criticism (or if there is, it can be handled!). I don't get depressed (having had the real thing many years ago, I do my best never to get that low again) but circumstances can be bad - and a kind word to help does a world of good, as connemmara has proved. Nice post, conn.
Connemmara, its great to be able to find somewhere to go -be it in the 'real' world or on line, somewhere familiar -for some people its down the pub or other such place but that isn't always an option and if you are on your own - physically or spiritually, then friendly on line forums like this are a great help and do give support. Everybody deals with depression in their own manner and while some wouldn't dream of broadcasting their feelings, that does not make them any superior from those who benefit from sharing and getting feedback. It works on both levels as well - some people really feel the benefit of being able to help and support someone else, even if its just a cyber hug.
Awww Shucks Prudie!
I don't disagree with either jno or boxy. I think that there is something very comforting about access to the world via the internet and some people are incredibly lonely, housebound or in difficult circumstances and as such, sites like this are a lifeline, I would not take away the good they do for some people. My point is mainly for that to work you have to be;
a) receptive to it such as Connemmara was in her time of need which I would not be here or otherwise.
b) comfortable enough to open up in that kind of manner which again, I would not be either here or in the great wide wold.
I'm just answering from a personal perspective rather than condemming this kind of post.
I don't disagree with either jno or boxy. I think that there is something very comforting about access to the world via the internet and some people are incredibly lonely, housebound or in difficult circumstances and as such, sites like this are a lifeline, I would not take away the good they do for some people. My point is mainly for that to work you have to be;
a) receptive to it such as Connemmara was in her time of need which I would not be here or otherwise.
b) comfortable enough to open up in that kind of manner which again, I would not be either here or in the great wide wold.
I'm just answering from a personal perspective rather than condemming this kind of post.
Latest Posts
Quizzes & Puzzles76 mins ago
News120 mins ago
Music137 mins ago
ChatterBank196 mins ago
