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Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
Q: How many...
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
Q: How many...
16:52 Wed 01st Feb 2012
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
Q: How many survivors of a nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. People who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: 100. One to change the bulb and 99 to write the environmental impact
report.
A2: 45 — one to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
A3: Two. One to assure us that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet. (Note: See also "Civil Service.")
Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes six visits
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only One.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Mission Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down to the fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new, super-high-tech model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willy has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
Q: How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
Q. How many women with raging hormones does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, me. And do you know why? Because no one in this house ever lifts a finger except me! Not one! And even if someone even noticed that the light bulb needed changing, I'm the only person who knows where the replacement light bulbs are kept, and why? Because they've only been in the same cupboard for the last FIFTEEN YEARS! And even if by some miracle someone did notice the light bulb needed changing and did find where the replacement bulbs are kept, they would either decide that getting a stepstool is just too much work, or they would leave the stepstool in the middle of the floor, not to mention all the trash they generated, because they think I'm their bleeping SERVANT! . . . I'm sorry, what was the question again?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
Q: How many survivors of a nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. People who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: 100. One to change the bulb and 99 to write the environmental impact
report.
A2: 45 — one to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
A3: Two. One to assure us that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet. (Note: See also "Civil Service.")
Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes six visits
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only One.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Mission Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down to the fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new, super-high-tech model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willy has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
Q: How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
Q. How many women with raging hormones does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, me. And do you know why? Because no one in this house ever lifts a finger except me! Not one! And even if someone even noticed that the light bulb needed changing, I'm the only person who knows where the replacement light bulbs are kept, and why? Because they've only been in the same cupboard for the last FIFTEEN YEARS! And even if by some miracle someone did notice the light bulb needed changing and did find where the replacement bulbs are kept, they would either decide that getting a stepstool is just too much work, or they would leave the stepstool in the middle of the floor, not to mention all the trash they generated, because they think I'm their bleeping SERVANT! . . . I'm sorry, what was the question again?
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