A really silly problem really...

[evedawn]

I feel guilty for cancelling anight out on the town with a good friend.

I had said to her that I was up for going out Friday, (planned two weeks ag). she is fairly recently divorced and is trying to pick up the pieces. Anyway...I "was" keen but now I'm not (combination of factors have left me thinking by the time friday comes around I will need some total peace and quiet in with the husband not a night on the town).

I txtd to tell her I'm not keen now and...I feel so guilty for letting her down :-( Cos she was soooo looking forward to it. (she doesn't have a huge social circle)

Am i a bad friend? I am in my thirties for goodness sake so things like this shouldn't have me worrying should they?

[Sqad]

So you should feel guilty.

[redcrx]

as shes such a good friend cant you explain to her how youre feeling and maybe come to a compromise.
Invite her over to yours for the eve or something?

When i was first seperated I didnt want to go anywhere but good friends are what pulled me round. A night out on the town was good for forgetting but it was much nicer to have some time to chat and catch up on things that werent connected to my split.

[swanko]

you may need her one day,how would you feel if she lets you down?

[Jan1957]

Having been in a situation similiar to your friend recently, no you're not a bad friend but can you not sort your "factors" out by then.. Perhaps if you talk to her and maybe not have a wild night out but just a drink or two. If you know she has been down and was looking forward to it and you had already agreed to go, you must know she will be very upset. Has she always been there for you and how much would it take just to make the effort.

Sorry but you did ask!

[ummmm]

I agree with Red. Invite her round. After divorce it can be a very lonely time and it's one evening out of your life that might make her feel happier.

[funnygirl]

Your excuse sounds ok to me.

Just explain to her what you've told us. Not everybody feels like going out to order.

Maybe arrange another evening, on a quieter scale as I'm sure she won't feel like meeting men just yet.

[China Doll]

What are the factors that are making you thin you'll need total peace and quiet with they hubby and is there any way they could be re-arranged? I don't mean to be horrid but if she has a limited social circle and was really looking forward to seeing you (red's ida is good, doesn't have to be a big night out) then depending on what the other factors are, I think you should make the effort.

Sorry... Probably not waht you wanted to hear.

[evedawn]

I think a night on the tiles is what she was after but I'm sure she wouldn't mind doing something a bit tamer...but I just wanna stay in with my husband, (him and I have been like ships passing in the night the last two weeks). Maybe if I suggest something another weekend?
PS another friend (work colleague actually) is supposed to be going also - so there should have been three. But if I don't go then neither of them plan to go (?!!) Why they can't just go the two of them I don't know. I am very outgoing and they seem to "need" a more adventurous person by their side when going out . . . hence neither of them will go if I don't.

[naomi24]

You should make the effort. That's what friends do.

[evedawn]

I do value your honest opinions all of you.... and you are probably right ....

[Sqad]

evedawn.....don't feel the louse that you are. We have all done stupid things in our lives and we will continue doing stupid things as you have done.

When you are in a hole, stop digging.

Just see how he attitude is towards you in the future and act accordingly.

[China Doll]

Bring your hubby? Or have a time when you have to be home, 23:30 or something. I still think you should make the effort. Sorry.

[pips1]

I agree, to a point, with both sides. I can identify with you that you may have had a hectic week and just want to chill, BUT she must be feeling wretched and would love a nice evening in with a husband, which she no longer has! I know how she feels, it happened to me and my friends were my life savers. Thing is, you have told her now so it's not so easy to undo. Sorry x

[logic]

you don't sound much like a good friend to me,

you must have known your situation when you agreed to go with her,

[evedawn]

okay okay...i will :-)

Will tell you all how the evening goes....

She's great and the ONLY reason I am hesitant is cos I am desperate to have a chillout night...but friends oughta be friends ay?

[naomi24]

Good girl! Applause!!!!!!!!!

[logic]

GOOD,

enjoy yourselves.