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will my dog remember me for the wrong reasons??

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rach-lou | 22:12 Mon 18th Feb 2008 | Animals & Nature
24 Answers
Im taking my pet krystal on Friday to be put to sleep. My whole family is coming as she is the family dog and ive searched internet and ive read thats its a painless procdure and the dog feels no pain other then the injection. My only concern is that im going to stay with her for the whole procdure as i want to be the last person she see's and she's my dog. But i dint want to live with the guilt that she knows ive ended her life - will she blame me or think that now wasnt her time.

For the last 18 months she has had a cancerous growth on her leg which we have had removed once and tried nemerous treatments but nothing has worked. It has got infected and responded to anti biotics, but she currently has to have twice daily dressing changes which she is finding more distressing. She has also started to loose her bearings and walking into doors, unable to navagite around the house, toileting in inapropiate places things she has never done before.

I feel she has no quality of life as she dislikes and becomes very distressed when left on her own ( something which we actively try to avoid but hard when working full time) she sleeps most of the day and all night. She doesnt go out to walk.

I know it is the right decision and i have to think of her, but i just want reasurrance that she will not remember me for being there when she was put to sleep - will she remember the good times?

Has anyone ever felt the same feelings?
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So sorry to learn that it is necessary to put your dog to sleep. Most of us have had this experience and it really is the kindest thing to do.

The drug they usually use to put animals to sleep is merely a large dose of anaesthetic that really puts them to sleep before they expire. Your dog will have no idea why it is there and will be all the better for seeing you as the last person.

Try to remember that you are doing the right thing and sparing your pet misery and pain. Best wishes.
I have stayed with two of my furry bairns when they were put to sleep. The vet administers the injection and the animal just become very tired and go to sleep - gradually and very peacefully.

If she is not enjoying life and is maybe suffering then this is the time, you know this in your heart.

It is only natural that you want to hang on to her, but you have made the hard decision to end her life - remember that you are doing it because you love her - she will not understand death in the way that we do, but she will know that her pain has ended.

Best wishes.
Rach-lou - I am so so sorry about Krystal.
I understand exactly how you feel because we had to put our darling dog to sleep 2 years ago at the end of this month. At the time, I had exactly the same concerns as you. I worried that she might think that I was a traitor or that I was getting rid of her because she had become old or that I thought she was a nuisance.
However looking back now, I realise that those feelings are pointless because I know that we were doing the bravest thing that we could for her. It was tempting to put off having her put to sleep but we realised that we would be doing that for oiur benefit and not hers. We just loved her so much that we didn't want her to leave us.
She also has a tumour (hers was on her jaw) which very quickly became very aggressive and I remember someone giving me a very useful piece of advice at the time. They said "better a day too early than a single second too late". This has continued to help me from the minute she closed her eyes.
I was also worried about the process of her being put to sleep but I can tell you in absolute honesty that it was so much better than I expected. It was really calm, organised and peaceful. She really did just fall asleep and to be honest as we were leaving the vets, we felt a huge sense of relief and pride that we had found the strength to do the right thing for her.
If you want any more info about my experience or the process, please do let me know and I will answer as honestly and sincerely as I can.
I really do feel for you and will help in any way I can. There are some really nice/helpful poems that I could put on here if you liked?
Take care,

Shivvy
-- answer removed --
It is possible to ask the vet to come to the house to put Krystal to sleep. They usually charge for a house call (my vet is around 60 pounds). You can give her a sedative tablet first if you wish, this means that she will probably be sleeping peacefully and will not even know the vet is there.

I have had a GSD put to sleep at the surgery, she was 6 years old and had bone cancer in a hind leg. She actually died before the injection was finished, it was very fast and peaceful, I laid her head across her leg and when I left her you would think that she was just asleep.

My second dog I had the vet come to the house as she was paralysed with CDRM and could not walk to the surgery (too big to carry). Again it was very quick and she died very soon after the injection was finished.

Sometimes they do move after - this is just a muscle spasm but something you should be prepared for.

My third dog died naturally in her sleep, I was with her and to be honest there was not alot of difference, except she yawned and stretched her legs out immediately after she had died.

Also have you decided what you are going to do after? Are you going to bury her? or you can get her ashes returned to you in a box or casket. Try and decide now and write your wishes down - you will not be able to tell the vet at the time, as you could be too distressed to talk.

Don't be afraid - you have done the best you possibly can for her. It would be wrong not to do this final thing for her. As shivvy says you will experience a sense of relief afterwards. With my first girl I did not eat for the week leading up to her death, I felt so much pressure. Immediately after I felt a massive sense of relief - she was out of pain now.

Don't hide or supress any feelings - you get the full range believe me! Also take care of your family (children especially as she has probably been around most of their
lives)

Take care.
sorry for the situation you're facing rach-lou most people on this site have been in this posiion and nobody finds it easy, but as been said before its better to be a day early then put a beloved friend through an extra minute of pain I was with my GSD,Che and it was just like he dropped off to sleep, I like to think that he knew that I was helping ease his pain and I'm sure that your dog will only remember the good times and that you were with her to ease her pain
I really feel for you,rach.......I had my old dog (she was 15+) put to sleep 3yrs ago. She had no quality of life as she was then deaf,partialy blind,arthritic and she had spinal problems. In her last days it was obvious that she had lost interest in life,,and it was time to let her go. It isn't easy to make such a descision.....but the actual process is very peaceful-just as every one else has said. My girl slipped away as I cuddled her in my arms....so she felt my love,what more can you give an animal at such a time??
Your dog will be going to doggy heaven where she will be alive and well. xx
I have had to do this several times with my cats over the years. Given the choice, if I was terminally ill and in pain, I would opt to go in this way. She will remember you for ending her pain. This will be the last loving thing you can do for her. It will be very peaceful and very quick. It is after all an overdose of anaesthetic, she will literally just go off to sleep. Don't be frightened. I would if you could afford it consider having the vet come to your house, so that she will be in familiar surroundings. Most animals find a visit to the vet stressful.
Our cats are members of our family. When we lose one it is a genuine bereavement. It takes time to come to terms with. I know some people sneer and say its only a cat, but not to me. it breaks my heart to lose one.
If you are half as attached to your dog as I am to my cats then it is going to be hard. But as time goes on the pain will fade, and you will have all your happy memories of her to look back on. You have done everything you can for her, don't feel guilty. I will be thinking of you on Friday.
Oh dear, rach-lou, I'm so very sorry to hear about your lovely dog. Kita & persianlady are right . If you could manage to ring the vet in the morning and ask for a home visit, it might make you feel better, but if not, I think you've obviously chosen to do the kindest thing you can anyway.
I've been with my own pets when they've had to be put to sleep - and that's exactly how it is. They just slowly relax, and go to sleep, so I don't think they know anything about it. It's still an unpleasant job for you, but just talk gently to Krystal. She'll understand. xxx
So very sorry to hear this. I lost my old Dane last year and as hard as at was I did what I thought was right.....my final act of kindness and had him PTS.......it broke my heart. This where he is now......
By the edge of a wood at the foot of the hill, Is a lush green meadow where time stands still, Where friends of a man and woman do run, when their time on earth is over and done, For here between this world and the next , Is a place where each beloved creature find's rest ! On this golden land they wait and play till Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day. No more do they suffer in pain or sadness for here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness!!!! Their limbs are restored their health renewed their bodies have healed strength imbuled !!!! They run through the grass without even a care, untill one day they Stop and sniff the air !!! All ears pricked forward, eyes dart side to side, Then all of a sudden one breaks from the pack ! For just that instant their eyes have met Together again person and pet, So they run to each other these friends from long past, The time of their parting is over at last !! The sadness they felt whilie they were apart has turned into Joy once more in each heart, They embrace with a love that will last forever and side by side they cross over together !!
My thoughts and love are with you.

Lisa x [and Lola...the puppy helping to heal my heart]
I can only confirm what eveyone else has said. The vet came to the house to put our girl to sleep, she was in her own bed and I had my arms around her as she went off to sleep. She knew I was there and that mattered a lot.
I have had to have two family pet cats put down, one was 14 and had come back from Dubai with us and the other one had cancer.
Both occassions I stayed with the pet, who was too ill to care really but I stroked them and thanked then for being our family pet and just kept talking to them, with the first one the vet said kindly- hes gone- but when I couldnt stop talking they said take as long as you like- which I did- and tactfully seeing how distressed I was did not ask for money but sent the bill later.Dont let them die alone with strangers.
I am sad that you have had to make this decision. It is never an easy one to make because for a while you will probably feel that you have let her down. This is very natural as we would like to see our pets live forever. The truth is that you are doing the best thing for her. I can only reinforce what everyone has said already - I have had to have pets put down and it is a peaceful procedure. With my old cat last year the vet gave her a sedative first so that she was already drowsy and to be honest she died before they had finished the injection. The vet was wonderful - I was in tears and so was she practically. Please stay with your pet - it is not pleasant and you will feel awful but you will be glad that you did this one last thing for her.
Only if you stay with her will you know how peaceful the end really is. She will have the injection and then within seconds she will have just gone to sleep. Make any arrangements before you go, are you going to bury her at home, have her cremated (individually so you can get the ashes back or not get the ashes, in which case it is a lot cheaper.

It is me who usually puts the line 'better a day too soon than a minute too late' but I am glad other people have said this too.
I am so sorry to hear of your poor dog, but one thing we know when we have a dog is that we will probably outlive them and have to say goodbye. When I lost my first rough I couldnt bear to hold her, the vet came out to the house and bought a nurse with him, and although I was in the room, I was buried in my husbands arms. I swore I would be braver next time, as she died in someone elses arms. When we lost our boy a couple of years ago, I held him in my arms and talked to him, and my husband was stroking him, and I know that he knew how much he was loved.

My favourite saying is that 'if dogs dont go to heaven, I want to go where they go'. Be brave, we all recognise your feelings and will be thinking of you.
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle can`t be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don`t let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stands the test.

We`ve had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer? So
When the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they`ll tend
Only stay with me until the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
It is a kindness that you do to me
Although my tail it`s last has waved
From pain and suffering I have been saved

Do not grieve it should be you
Who must decide this thing to do.
We`ve been so close, we two these years
Don`t let your heart, hold any tears.

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Oh rach-lou, I really feel for you :( What a horrible decision to have to make, but you and your dog know it's the right one. Krystal knows you are doing it because you love her, and she will love you for ending her pain. Just think what a wonderful time she will have waiting for you on Rainbow Bridge...

My thoughts are with you. x

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