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New online shop!!!!

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sft42 | 12:36 Tue 04th Mar 2003 | News
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Ok folks i think i've decided to start up a new online shop. We will be offering the following service....First of all you get to wingwalk while singing either the pug 206 theme or i'm sticking to you 'cause i'm made out of glue..then we drop you at a point where you can find all the bleedin' Burdalls gravy block you can handle! If anyone has any other ideas that might fall in my new shops remit please let me know below!
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you need an Iraq debating society page, also a copy of the ancient mariner poem by S.T. Coleridge.....
You could provide your customers with - a signed photo of the bloke and two ladies from the current Lynx advert, together with a CD single of 'Make Love' by Room 5; a brief lesson in the art of artex removal and a demonstration of the best methods of removing one's pubic hair (though, admittedly, there haven't been any Qs of a pubic nature recently).
Hey, talking of demonstrations of removal of pubic hair, you could maybe enlist the help of the girl from the Orange ad - after all, she hates beards! And what about a dictionary corner where people can look up the meaning of mea culpa and STAT?!
And 'null' too Flirty!
you must, of course, sell designer luggage - whether you choose to sell the real thing or fake versions is up to you...as long as you explain how to spot the difference.
I think you should also sell a selection of apostrophes, for placing before the 's' and after the 's'!
Special area for anything that ends in -gry apart from angry and hungry.
A big flashing neon sign that says 'AB Convention - Coming soon'
A ducking stool for people who repeat their questions in different categories - start with the 'virtual baby' bozo
An Iron Maiden for those who ask Questions and never respond to the answers.
And a big bucketful of stars as they're in short supply. :-)
Don't forget a video of the first children's programme on BBC2.
Don't forget a gallery/dating service for every female that's ever made an advert ever ever
Lifesize models of Wilma Deering and Twiki from Buck Rogers.
You should do coffins for Alan Lomax, John Otway, Steve Wright and Strange people with tattoos.
How about a demonstration by the Albatross from the Ryme of the Ancient Mariner on how to remove Artex from your ceiling
You should definitely stock a good selection of charts detailing how many tourists visit each and every city in the world.

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