“I Am Disgusted With The School’s Expectations”

[fiction-factory]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/boy-sent-home-after-15-22632851

“I am disgusted with the school’s expectations,” said the mum-of-five.

“My son has not got off to a good start at all, and it’s all down to being picked on about uniform,"

“It is a real struggle for parents on a budget to be able to afford this expensive school uniform and shoes, and I’ve been saving up as much as I could all summer."

Would you send you child to a new school in white trainers and logo sweatshirt on the first day? He actually looked quite smart but that to me isn't the point. Is she doing him any favours by going to the press about this and criticising the school he should be going to for the next 5 years? Maybe she chose the wrong school for him if she doesn't liek the uniform policy.

In my experience, if you have difficulty on the first day the school will be understanding as long as you make a reasonable effort (eg some plain black trainers or some old hand me down black shoes and no sweatshirt) and bring a note saying "sorry, will have full uniform in a day or two"

[fiction-factory]

danny- the start of term did not come as a surprise. Mum had all summer to find some black shoes. Even a pair for under a fiver would have sufficed until she could find a more fashionable/suitable pair for him. Or the school will provide them even if black plimsolls . I work in schools with pupils like this- hardly 'academia' ivory towers

[jackthehat]

My D-i-L had bought my grandson a pair of 'suitable shoes' for his new school earlier in the Summer Holidays.....guess what? The evening before school started, he put them on and they were too small.
Fortunately, he had some other respectable footwear and he wore that until she managed to get to the shops on Saturday to buy replacements.

This Mum has 5 children to sort out,,,,

[douglas9401]

It's not about uniform, it's about 'I'm in charge and I make the rules' versus 'I know my rights' banging heads in the time-honoured fashion.

[dannyk13]

FF // Mum had all summer to find some black shoes.//
She has ordered them online and is waiting for delivery.

[jno]

she should have had a conversation with the school

and they should have had a conversation with her. What stops them picking up the phone, rather than taking it out on a pupil? They're the organisation with the power - the parent clearly has none - and they abused it.

[pixie374]

I think it's out of order for the school to behave that way. In the mum's position, I would have sent him in with a note to explain and also rung the school early.
But they say //the Lead Inspector commented on how smartly the students wear the uniform, and how the uniform plays a valuable role in contributing to the positive tone and ethos of the school.//

And yet their "positive tone and ethos" includes making an 11 year old at a new school, extremely unwelcome because of his appearance and making him miss the first day, for something he couldn't do anything about.
Maybe they need to reconsider their "ethos".

[douglas9401]

Black shoes matter.

[-SharonA-]

Disgraceful!!! The school ought to be ashamed. Children need to be back at school getting their education.

[sherrardk]

I’m with the school on this one. All parents knew school was due to start in September and everyone has faced the same problems in getting stuff. Anyone with five kids has spare uniform coming out of their ear holes and you can pick up a pair of black shoes quite cheaply (I got two pairs of leather shoes, delivered, for £30). Uniform and standards are important, Covid or no Covid.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Have you actually read the article? The mother had ordered the uniforn from the only place the school would allow parents to buy from, but they were late with orders. He was wearing a black sweatshirt (albeit with a logo) white shirt, black trousers and a tie he's borrowed from his sister. Good grief its not like he was dressed up in full chavvy tracksuit gear -the mum had tried!

[bednobs]

however, FF i can certainly agree with you that going to the papers was NOT the right thing for the mum to do on the first day of the boy's career at that school

[AuntPollyGrey]

FF // I work in schools with pupils like this- hardly 'academia' ivory towers//

What a horrible thing to say about a poor kid, you should be ashamed of yourself, especially if you work in a school.

[dannyk13]

APG, I think that FF was replying to my post at 10.01.

[bednobs]

"pupils like this" probably means pupils that don't wear the correct uniform. That's hardly a horrible thing to say (and it's true)

[fiction-factory]

Thanks Danny. I'm not sure what auntpolly grey thought I meant. Both sides are at fault. I understood the school did ring and she declined their clothes owing to covid. Sending home was an over reaction until the options had all been explored and agreement reached on timescales to sort it and interim actions. But going to the press and criticising school on day one does not bode well for future relations.
I'll have to face similar issues tomorrow- trainers, no masks, ultra short skirts (not me) and orange fake tan and huge eyelashes. But on the first day the action should be at most a call home and / or letter regarding expectations.
I wonder how this case will be resolved now. Some compromise is needed but I doubt it will be mum who does it.

[pixie374]

I thought it was the son who wasn't wanting to wear other people's clothes?
Going to the papers, isn't the obvious move, but at least it gets talked about then. "Future relations" should be completely unaffected... professionals are not going to behave any differently because of that.

[fiction-factory]

Thanks bednobs. Iby 'pupils like this'll I just meant a typical secondary school with its fair share of average income and less well off pupil premium children, children with lots of siblings and yes parents and children who don't support or follow school rules. The academia comment was in response to danny who seemed to suggest I worked in academia and was out of touch with poorer families.

[AuntPollyGrey]

FF, sorry, I got the wrong end of the stick and apologise. I thought you were insinuating the poor lad and his family were ignorant and would know no better.

[fiction-factory]

Thanks APG.
Yes pixie, it wasn't clear to me whether the mum had been consulted about wearing other clothes. If the son had refused the school should have discussed this with mum and she should have had the chance to tell/persuade her son or at least to say why she agreed with her son and discuss possible other options such as a few days' grace.
I hope future relations won't be affected but I think the lad will perceive his mum has little respect for the school and that's hardly going to help him accept future decisions, instructions or requests that he disagrees with.

[burlyshirley]

Did all the other parents manage to get the uniform in time ?