Adoption Or Real Children

[struthMate]

In todays age what is the best option? I cant see a benefit of bringing a new human into this already overcrowded and struggling world. But adoption does not provide you with the same bond. I would feel guilty if I brought another life into this world. I would not feel guilty if I adopted. How can I sell this to my wife? She thinks the world and humans are amazing and we will continue to rule the earth for a long time

[DaisyNonna]

Perhaps you should have discussed this before marriage.

[DJHawkes]

When you married her, did you never think to mention this? It mught just come as a shock to her that she may never give birth because you hold these views. though she can choose for herself i guess.

[Baldric]

So, if you adopt, what do you get if not real children?

[struthMate]

Well I was hoping she would change her tune to be honest. I love her but sometimes she has a right bee stuck in her bonnet

[DaisyNonna]

And you haven't?

[Mamyalynne]

I don't see it as a bee in her bonnet, more a case of the natural order of things - two people who love each other make a child. She then carries it and delivers it, there we have a perfect (hopefully) new human who is part of you both.

Adoption too is a wonderful thing and as said the two of you would need to be in accord to follow that path.

[starone]

Whatever you decide you will still have the pleasure and pain of taking care of a child. However, adoption is not that easy. If you are able to have children of your own you will not be able to adopt, (I think). Also there are many children (not babies) who are waiting to be adopted, and who have all sorts of problems. Are you willing to adopt one of these? I don't think you need worry about whether or not humans will or will not rule the earth for a long time to come. I am sure whatever is going to happen to us will not be in your lifetime. Best to enjoy what you have while you have the chance.

[DaisyNonna]

Why did you get married?

[Rosetta]

I agree that this is an overcrowded world so why would you feel guilty if you adopted and yes adopted children can give the same bond. I would turn your assertion on its head that adopted kids can get a real relationship with adoptive parents, the emphasis being on giving not the selfish getting of a bond

[struthMate]

Well I work as a truck driver and she is a ' assistant manager' at a mcdonalds. I will stay at home and if we adopt 1 then the government will pay nearly the same as my wage so I can care for the child while she embarks on her career. If we had our own child then it would be hard to afford it. My dream is to take care of children and if ther are childeren who are in need of a dad then I would rather take that opportunity first. The world is getting smaller. Life is getting less precious. You have to make it precious. I can do that

[Sharingan]

Why do you think that you cannot bond as well with an adopted child?

[DaisyNonna]

But what about his wife?

[struthMate]

To be honest it will be my wife who lacks the bond I can bond with most kids. I used to be a life guard voluntarily for dissabled ones. I love them

[DaisyNonna]

Words fail me!
No they don't, but I do not want to get banned for being rude to you.

[Rosetta]

I note that you are a newby. I hope you get the answers that you deserve, given that this is a sensitive question for people adopting/ being adopted

[sherrardk]

Horse Sugar (please feel free to report me).

[Connemmara]

sherrard - as a matter of interest - where is horse sugar

[FredPuli43]

Well, if you have just the one 'real' child you will have replaced two people (you) with just one, in due course. That's an effort by you to achieve a net reduction in the world's population. If you have two, you are just replacing two with two, keeping it level. No problem, then.

Must say, if your wife wants a child and you don't, it would be no surprise if she cleared off. You are denying her a fundamental right. Why , in doing so,you justify it for the sake of starving children elsewhere, now or in the future (that being the essence of your argument ) is not immediately apparent.

[struthMate]

Fred. Actually I never thought about it that way. Its a good point. But all the people claiming benefits can have as many kids as they want. It is like reverse survival of the fittest.

[1ndex]

If you deny your wife children how would you feel if she denied you sex ?