Music9 mins ago
domestic abuse anh charge?
ok so bassically me and my boyfriend had an argument and he got a little violent, he just shoved me at first and walked away but i followed him and he pinned me to the floor. i called the police because i was scared and he tried to leave but i wouldnt let him before the police showed up. so the scrap got a bit worse there was some hair pulling and shoving going on, then i said something to him that i knew i shouldnt and he hit me and bit my arm. the police showed up shortly after that and took him away, they took my statement and he had to go to court, he pleaded not guilty and now its going to trial. he's out on court bail at the moment but part of the conditions are that he cant come home. im all messed up now because i want him home, im not frightened of him he's never been violent before and im pretty confident he never would be again, our relationship has always been fine. i think the whole situation just got completly out of hand. i have since withdrawn my statement to the police and told them that i am not frightened and would like for him to come home or at least for me to be able to speak to him to sort this out, i have heard through a family friend that he would like to do this too. i cant pay the rent without him and am missing him dearly is there anything i can do about the bail condition?
i realize im going to get alot of people saying i am stupid and that if hes violent once he'll be violent again and a few weeks ago i probably would have agreed with you but this isn't the kind of situation where he believes he was right in doing this he is genuinly sorry and is seeking help. if anyone could give me some advice i would apreciate that greatly.
thanks.
i realize im going to get alot of people saying i am stupid and that if hes violent once he'll be violent again and a few weeks ago i probably would have agreed with you but this isn't the kind of situation where he believes he was right in doing this he is genuinly sorry and is seeking help. if anyone could give me some advice i would apreciate that greatly.
thanks.
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Sorry Laurisa he will only repeat his violence time and time again....stay away and thank your stars you are still around to tell us what happened.... The situation didn't get out of hand he showed his true colours.... If he can convince the court he is truly sorry and takes anger management training it will count in his favour though...but please don't have him back
judgments are not really appreciated, i've explained my situation and im just looking for some advice about what to do with the courts, my mind is made up and although im sure alot of people just want to judge and believe they are being helpful im afraid i just need help with the court thing not on if having him back is the right thing to do.
laurisa - no man who respects you will treat you this way - you are in a position of vulnerability because you are dependent on him to pay the rent - situations like this are not normal in proper loving relationships. Please get some advice from either a respected family friend, a church minister or the citizens advice bureau, even your local GP will help. There are many association to help you -google in domestic abuse. Your response that this is a one off and won't happen again is a very common response to what has happened to you but the likelihood that it will reoccur is very real. You also say you are very messed up so better you speak with someone able to give you good advice. Life may seem very bleak now and the return of 'your man' the only solution but that's not the case.
Apart from anything else laurisa your own behaviour needs sorting out. You shouldn;t have had another go at him. They'll only take so much, now he knows what he is capable of I don't think he'll stop at giving you the odd smack now and again. I wouldn't bank on this being a peaceful relationship. Why not look for somewhere for yourself and be independent not relying on someone else to pay the rent.
he didnt smack me in the way i can imagine everyone is thinking this happened, no one here knows him or what he's been through and im well aware that is no excuse, i am all he has not the other way around. i would not put up with this ever happening again but he's a good person and does not deserve to go to jail because no one was willing to help him.
Enormous amounts of police, CPS and court time is spent on matters like this. A few years ago the CPS adopted a policy of continuing, whenever possible, Domestic Violence prosecutions even when the alleged victim withdraws the allegation. They will almost certainly do so here.
Additionally, although the CPS is not generally in the business of prosecuting victims, withdrawing your statement may lead you into difficulties. See an earlier question:
http://www.theanswerb...2.html#answer-5527041
ABH is s serious offence and to think that “...the police would put him in a cell over night to think about stuff and sober up and he'd come home the next day with a slap on the wrist ...” is a bit naive to say the least.
Additionally, although the CPS is not generally in the business of prosecuting victims, withdrawing your statement may lead you into difficulties. See an earlier question:
http://www.theanswerb...2.html#answer-5527041
ABH is s serious offence and to think that “...the police would put him in a cell over night to think about stuff and sober up and he'd come home the next day with a slap on the wrist ...” is a bit naive to say the least.
thanks for the info, and i can honestly say i have only ever once had to deal with the police when my brother had a hissy fit about 10 years ago and broke up the house he got kept over night and released with a slap on the wrist so i assumed the same would happen this time.
also i wasnt aware it was abh untill a few days later when the police told me, at the time they just kept telling me i doubt itll even go to trial so dont worry.
also i wasnt aware it was abh untill a few days later when the police told me, at the time they just kept telling me i doubt itll even go to trial so dont worry.
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I speak from experience. Me and my partner have had a few fights which I know I started. The last one was bad he bit me, tried to pull me out of the car by my hair (pulling loads out) and had his hands round my throat which was so badly bruised it looked like I had love bites all over me.
When I finally got away I was in bits and went to a local park and even had suicidal thoughts which at that point I knew I needed help and called the police. They took a statement from me etc.
A few days later after me and him talking I realised I needed to withdraw the statement as I only made it cos I was scared. The police told me I could withdraw it but they still had to question him so they did and it was just it comes down to 'he say's, you say' type of thing. But we worked through it and now we get on better than ever. So it really is your choice only you two can decide.
When I finally got away I was in bits and went to a local park and even had suicidal thoughts which at that point I knew I needed help and called the police. They took a statement from me etc.
A few days later after me and him talking I realised I needed to withdraw the statement as I only made it cos I was scared. The police told me I could withdraw it but they still had to question him so they did and it was just it comes down to 'he say's, you say' type of thing. But we worked through it and now we get on better than ever. So it really is your choice only you two can decide.
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