hhmmmm . . .

[mollykins]

Do hospitals etc suggest after a certain point that people should be in a 'home'?

My next door neighbour is a little old lady who lives on her own and in the last couple of years as broken and dislocated too many things for me to remember.

A woman just knocked on our door to say that she's now fallen and dislocated her shoulder but she needs to be going home and thought she should tell us about our neighbour.

[dotty.]

Well go round and help her, no point asking about her on this site when she could be lying on the floor feet away from you

[craft1948]

Has she no relatives that you could contact?

[mollykins]

Do you think i would be, don't be so stupid, she's now back from the hospital and dad's gone round to see her.

[mollykins]

Non that live round here or would care much.

[craft1948]

Don't be so rude to dotty!

[ladyalex]

They certainly do in Scotland.

[dotty.]

you should have included that information in your OP molly, you do yourself no favours

[society]

Oooh Molly why so rude to Dotty, she is far from stupid...

[4getmenot]

social services may be able to get her home help

[starone]

If there is one thing that gets me going it is the word "STUPID". Molly, I consider it extremely rude of you to have used it. Silly is reasonable, Stupid is not. I liked you before but now I am having second thoughts. I think and expect a grovelling apology is due from you to dotty. You are not in a position to use that kind of language to an older (than you) person who is kind and caring.

[anneasquith]

hi star..im not messing with you tonight. :)

[ttfn]

Hi molls. Over 30 years ago I had to argue vehemently with my neighbour's GP to get him into hospital. The old fella was in his 90's and had collapsed at home. I was happy enough to look after him at the weekend, but I had a full time job to do. I had to point out to his GP that it was crass stupidity to leave the old chap to his own devices and he agreed, eventuially, to call an ambulance. My neighbour died in hospital just a week later (on Valentine's Day). I would never have called the GP stupid. Think on molls, the spirit of AnswerBank is paramount over anything that any ABer posts.

[Dris]

Starbuckone -you remind me of another cantakerous elder poster....

Molly -again -I have no clue why you are being crucified.I read your OP and immediately knew what your thread was about.

Had the same with my elderly neighbour.Its a long story -but the start was me having to beg her GP to make a home visit..He eventually did -she was whisked into hospital where she stayed for 8wks -she was released with no back up at the age of 88.Eventually we (me and her family abroad) managed to get Social Services to come in once a day for half an hour to relieve me -so I could go to work.I made her meals -sat with her and went in each night to get her meds -all because I wanted to -I left one night and went in next morning and she had lain all night -she had fallen when I had left her at bedtime....I wont say what i saw....she died 8hrs later...thankfully just as the taxi, i had organised to meet her daughters at the airport , were at her bedside.
The Social Services and GP are part of an active complaint regarding the welfare of elderly people and the lack of care provided when released from hospital.
As much as I had no qualms at all helping her -the after care was not just sadly lacking -it was lacking.
So Molly I totally understand your concern and i'd advise your father to contact your local Social Services before the onus is on him...
I could say a helluva lot more about what i had to do..but I wont..but think its shocking releasing elderly people back into their own homes from hospital with NO back up.
Good to see the 'see a band wagon get on it' is alive and well on AB -that the spirit !!!!

[starone]

Dris I have no quarrel with molly's thread and agree with the fact that she is concerned. I would like to think that there would be someone nearby who would help me if I was in the same condition. However, there is no need to be rude to other people and I consider that she was. As I have said on another thread tonight if I do not like something I think I am entitled to say so and I think the word stupid is tantamount to swearing.

[Dris]

You were rude Starbuckone but as you are older we are expected to put up and shut up.Sorry its not the way I see things -I feel young people who are just dipping their toes into the adult world should be guided and I see your demand for a 'grovelling apology' as not a good example to set.
Now had you said that to me you I suspect have an idea what I would have said to you.
Sometimes responsible adults attempt to set an example and try to gently guide a young person into the often harsh transition to adulthood -not treat them in a Dickensian manner.

[sherrardk]

Just to stick my oar in. Whilst I realise that this site is open to all I would suspect that chatter bank is predominately an adult/grown-up section where people are free to engage in banter as opposed to the topics section where actual answers/considered opinions are sought. If you wish to play with the big boys then you have to play by the rules and I suspect that Molly is aware of this.

[welshlibranr]

Apart from all the discussion earlier, if your neighbour doesn't want to go into a home, then nobody can make her do that!...........She has human rights, and no matter how misguided, she still has the right to decide her fate!.........having said that, this is not your family's responsibility, if you can see that she isn't coping, then call social services, they will sort it!..........

[starone]

Oh for goodness sake dris, that wasn't rude, that was just telling her off. If she can't take the heat she should get out of the kitchen and knowing her, she won't do that. It'll be like water off a duck's back. She is very resilient, is Molly. I'm waiting for her to come back with something. Just as long as she doesn't use that awful word - stupid. If she does I shall never speak to her again, and of course, she has the right not to speak to me, if that is what she wants. Incidentally, I have very good reasons not to like it.

[Dris]

Who was that aimed at sher?
I answered fully with examples as to the way elderly people were treated.
I confined my post to the matter in hand -others didnt.
So who was chatting and posting off topic??
Im very ineterested as I shall use this as an example of how a thread can immediately go off topic and remain so until someone with a bit of sense picks it up and posts something relevant as did ttfn.....