Elderly mother treated badly

[Velvetee]

My elderly mother is frail and rather frail She has regular out patient appointments and needs to use the patient ambulance service.

Today they came to collect her for an appointment, came into her bungalow and promptly left, telling her it stank in there. Admittedly, it isn't very fresh, as she has been quite incontinent recently and her carpet is in need of a steam clean.

Regardless of this, the whole point of this ambulance service, is to ferry the old, infirm and disabled to their hospital appointments. I would have expected these ambulance operatives are used to this kind of thing and worse.

My mother was very upset and eventually they sent another crew to collect her, an hour later, making her over an hour late for her appointment. I think she has been treated appallingling, would anyone else agree?

[dot.hawkes]

absolutely, these are drivers not paramedics and they should not be making comments like that or making decisions on whether a patient can be late for an appointment. You must ring the controllers and ask for their complaints process and ask for an apology on behalf of your Mum.

[sara3]

yes, you need to help her make a formal complaint.

[bigmamma]

Oh , your poor mum , bless her , that was bang out of order , how cruel :-(

[Charisse]

No. No ambulance crew would make such remarks and leave your mother.

You are making this up. Why? I know not.

If that happened to my mother I would not be on an internet chat site. I would be kicking up merry hell at her G.P. All patient transport is logged so her G.P. would be able to get the ambulance persons name.

[Velvetee]

Thanks Dot, I've already composed my letter and it's ready to be posted. Maybe one day, these two clowns will come to understand what it can be like, to be old and sick. I find it utterly shocking.

[obNOXious]

How dare they?!? that's truly disgusting velvetee, elderly people should not be made to feel ashamed or embarassed because they haven't been able to keep on top of things. Agreeing with the others, make a formal complaint. I'm so sorry for your poor Mum having to go through that.

[tamborine]

This lady needs home help or entry into a care home if you are unable to assist her. Ambulance services are not there to bath & dress patients for appointments.

[welshlibranr]

I agree that your mother should not have been subjected to this humiliation, she is obviously experiencing difficulties due to her incontinence problems, maybe you could speak to Social Services, and get her some help with her personal care, perhaps if she were to become used to wearing pads, the problems could be resolved, and your mother would feel much more comfortable.

[Ice.Maiden]

This seems unbelievable. I'd report this crew immediately, as it's not their job to decide whether personal hygiene has any bearing on being collected for a hospital visit or not!
However, if your mother couldn't walk out to meet the crew herself, I'd say that the lady's in need of a home carer - who'd also make sure that she bathed regularly and the house was kept smelling as fresh as possible. Her GP could probably submit a request for this to her local Council.

[Velvetee]

Charisse, you do not know me, so don't come all high and mighty and start accusing me of making things up. I've been posting here for a long time, whereas I can see you are new. If I want to relay things to others here I will. If you don't like it, just don't comment.

[Goodsoulette]

Has your mother been assessed for home help?Does she have a lady come in to check on her each day? They set an amount of visits needed but if she is unable to deal with her incontinence alone, it sounds like she could maybe do with the help.

[stokemaveric]

yes indeed velvetee,they are not there to make comments about your dear mums bungalow,they are there to take her to the hospital and back again.....make a formal complaint to your local nhs trust asap.......

[Velvetee]

Ice my mother currently has Homecare and gets visits 3 times daily. She refuses to go into a care home, so I'm seeking extra care accommodation.

[welshlibranr]

Don't be upset Velvetee, it's very difficult when this sort of thing happens, the crew weren't understanding at all, and yes, I think you should complain, but your mum needs some help, contact Social Services, that's what they're there for, if your mum gets the help she needs then the situation will improve for her, and that's what matters! good luck......welsh

[Velvetee]

She really needs to be in a care home and I've tried to get her to think about it, but she is of the belief that they will abuse her in a home, so refuses to even consider it. It's very dificult, as she doesn't get much interaction and she seems to be a bit senile now and has various health problems.

I live 50 miles away and now that I'm pregnant, haven't been able to visit as much as I used to. I've mentioned my sister before, who lives 5 minutes from my mother, but she hasn't visited her for over 6 weeks.

[Ice.Maiden]

Glad your mother's being cared for as far as possible Velvetee, but 3 visits per day should be adequate to keep her feeling clean and fresh. Incontinence pads are usually provided free of charge, and the thicker ones can hold an enormous amount of urine until she's due for her next change. Not only would I report the ambulance crew asap, but I'd have a word with the carer/s and or your mum's GP with a view to her having further medical checks, just to make sure that she has no infection or anything. Hope you get it sorted out quickly.

[stokemaveric]

poor you velvetee you really need a family meeting....i have had the same problems your sister really needs to be pulling her weight wouldnt you say?

[Velvetee]

The problem is Ice, she doesn't think she is incontinent and refuses to wear pads or special pants. Her carers come in the morning and wash and dress her, but she will sit in her chair for hours, instead of going to the toilet/commode, so when she stands up, it just comes out. She is, therefore, urinating on the carpet and her chair, so this is where the smell comes from.

I'm on holiday from work over the next couple of weeks, so will get a specialist carpet cleaning company to go in and steam and deodorise. It's a temporary measure though.

[Velvetee]

Stoke, my sister doesn't care. She stopped visiting my mother 6-7 weeks ago, when she discovered she no longer had access to her bank account. There isn't any money available to her anymore, so no reason to visit. I don't speak to her anymore and want nothing to do with her or her money grabbing offspring.

[welshlibranr]

Sadly, you can't make her go to a care home, your sister should help, maybe speak to her to see if she is willing to give a few hours a week, and perhaps a day centre would help too if she would try it?