Help In English Please

[Fatemah]

Hello everyone, I have got a visa appointment from German Embassy, however, they mentioned the wrong appointment date, they wrote March, 16, 21, and I want to write them and want to correct my appointment date, I think they want to call me on 16th July 21. Please can someone proofread my email?
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Dear Sir/Madam,

I have received a visa interview appointment from German Embassy, however, I am confused with the appointment date, it’s is mentioned 16-03-2021, I would like to confirm the correct date of my appointment, is it 16th July 2021, at 9:00 am?

Thank you.

[bednobs]

seems fine to me

[JJ109]

I have received a visa interview appointment from yourselves, The German Embassy. However, I am confused with the appointment date. It mentions 16-03-2021. I would like to confirm the correct date of my appointment. Is it 16th July 2021, at 9:00 am?

Thankyou

[bednobs]

your answer is almost exactly the same as fatemah's (except you use the dreaded "yourselves")

[JJ109]

I tried to make it as near as possible to Fatemah's, but just correct the "it's is"!

[bednobs]

oh ok, sorry!

[THECORBYLOON]

I have received details of a visa interview appointment for 16-03-2021 but as that was more than three months ago, should it be 16-07-2021?

Please confirm the correct date and time.

Thank you

[Ellipsis]

You should also include details of who you are and a reference number that they can look up to work out your appointment date.

[Fiametta]

That reads clearly. For correct grammar and punctuation, you should place "the" before "German Embassy" and place a period after it. "However" should begin a new sentence. You should also change "confused with" to "confused by". Finally, you should place a period after "the correct date of my appointment". The last sentence should stand on its own: "Is it the 16th of July, at 9:00 am?"

[THECORBYLOON]

'"However" should begin a new sentence.'

Who says that?

[cashier]

We use a full stop to denote the end of a sentence, not a period.

[dannyk13]

Period is Americanese for a full stop.

[bednobs]

i doubt very much the german embassy will be marking your use of commas, full stops etc. After all the staff probably wont be native english speakers themselves
Your meaning is clear and that's all that matters

[THECORBYLOON]

It's another opportunity to practise.

[ladybirder]

There is no rule that "however" should start a new sentence.
I'd go with Corby's suggestion, clear, concise and to the point.

[bednobs]

in all honesty, fatemah has better english than a large proportion of brits

[jno]

grammarians used to insist you should never start a sentence with However (or And or But). All nonsense.

JJ109's suggestion is fine but I'd say "confused about" rather than "confused over".

[jno]

... I mean instead of "confused with". I'm more confused than Fatemah.

[MargoTester]

I have received a visa interview date from you which states 16-03-21, which is rather confusing. Please confirm the correct date and time of the appointment which I assume to be 16-07-21 at 9.00 am
Thank you

[THECORBYLOON]

I would never begin a sentence with, "but" but I would end a sentence with it.

[jno]

Australians do that too, TCL. Nobody does it with "and", though.