Any First Date Horror Stories?

[mrs_overall]

I once went on a date and met the guy in a bar he suggested. I asked for a cider and he came back from the bar with...2 coffees. He then proceeded to lecture me on the evils of drink. He had a small tattoo on the inside of his wrist -WWJD. When he told me it stood for What Would Jesus Do, I decided to scarper.
(apologies to a nervous Evian lol)

[tenrec]

My first date didn't show up! It was a freezing winter night and I had my mini skirt on!!

[mrs_overall]

Awww tenrec, that was a mean thing to do

[EvianBaby]

Lol. I don't know if I should avoid this thread or keep an eye on it.

WWJD!

[ummmm]

Jesus would watch the thread.

[tenrec]

What I did learn was don't hang around for an hour waiting for him to turn up!

[mrs_overall]

Funnily enough I saw him not long ago for the first time in years. I ducked through the nearest doorway, and found myself in a coal merchants. When they asked if they could help, I said "I'm just browsing." In a coal merchants....I ask you

[Kiki-frog]

I once went on a first date for a pub lunch. Everything was going well, and then the food I arrived. Whereupon I stood up, screamed and knocked my drink all over the new boyfriend. Because there was a spider on my plate and I feckin' hate spiders. Except it wasn't. It was the stalky leafy bit from a tomato. I didn't see new boyfriend again.

[mrs_overall]

lol Kiki, that is so funny!

[abstibus]

Mrs O
Do you know your post ends with 'He had a small...?
I just had to read on...!

[mrs_overall]

rofl! I can assure you we never got that far!!!!!!!

[EvianBaby]

Ha ha. I'm definitely keeping an eye on this as a sort of 'what not to do' guide ;)

[Prudie]

Yes first ever date - I was 14 and it was with a French boy and I was really nervous and shy. He took me on a rowing boat down the river and I started to need to pee in the middle. The horrors of working out how to get out alone and go behind a bush etc It was a nightmare.

[Barmaid]

I once went on a first date with a chap. We sat in this really old pub and all of a sudden his whole body went into some sort of spasm. I ignored it. about 10 minutes later it happened again. Still being a police young lady, I ignored it. After the third time I'm thinking "Poor chap, he obviously has some sort of muscular disorder, but all the same its a bit weird". It happened a few more times, until eventually he says "I'm sure you must have noticed the muscle spasms I am having". "Yes", I say "thinking, oh how brave, he's going to tell me what's wrong now". "Anyway", he continues "this is a very old pub and it has a number of spirits in it, the muscle spasms are caused by the spirits passing into my aura".

I managed to make it to the ladies before I almost wet myself laughing.

[mrs_overall]

On another date I was dressed to kill and had on my FM stilleto heels. I went to the loo and aware he was watching me on the way back, I sachayed in my sexiest manner. The effect was totally ruined by the fact I had a piece of toilet paper attached to one heel and was dragging the whole toilet roll across the room

[naomi24]

Ha ha! Jesus wouldn't have come back with coffee - he was very fond of wine!

A friend once begged me to make up a foursome by going on a blind date with her boyfriend's mate, and under pressure, I eventually agreed. What a disaster! He was only about 5ft 2in - and fat - and brainless ....

Not to be rude, I stayed the course ..... but I didn't see him again. :o/

[Barmaid]

*polite* not police. It's still early.

[Booldawg]

I once worked with a girl who professed to have gone out on a date with a guy who had put a condom on before he went out. LOL! cant see how that would work tbh.

[mrs_overall]

Some cracking stories, I'm glad it's not just me!

[Kiki-frog]

Booldawg - what????

[abstibus]

Booldawg
How did she find out?