ChatterBank1 min ago
How should I tackle this dilemma?
22 Answers
Hi
I’m 48 years old, and single with no children (reasons will become clearer). Some 15 years ago I ended my relationship with my long-term boyfriend because he didn’t want to have children, and I did. Since then I flitted from one relationship to another but never really found anyone special to settle down with. Last year I contacted my ex-boyfriend via a networking site. He’s now living in Canada and is happily settled there (when I say settled, I mean that he has a good job, earning a decent wage, has a nice home, and a great social life – he is still single). I’ve been to visit him 3 times and he’s been over to see me. We have kind of touched upon our feelings for each other, but generally I tend to avoid discussing our feelings, because once our true feelings are out in the open, I feel that a decision would have to be made as to what direction our relationship should take. I know he would never return to the UK permanently, so it would be up to me to go and live in Canada. Though part of me would love to be with him on a more permanent basis, I feel really uneasy about leaving my family behind. Well, actually, my family only consists of my sister, who I love dearly, and am very close to. My sister is in her 40’s and is also still single. She doesn’t have a wide circle of friends, and her social life basically revolves around me. I know she would miss me alot if I moved to Canada, and I would feel very bad about that. I’m in limbo at the moment and don’t know what to do for the best. I realise that I have to make my own decisions but any thoughts would be much appreciated.
I’m 48 years old, and single with no children (reasons will become clearer). Some 15 years ago I ended my relationship with my long-term boyfriend because he didn’t want to have children, and I did. Since then I flitted from one relationship to another but never really found anyone special to settle down with. Last year I contacted my ex-boyfriend via a networking site. He’s now living in Canada and is happily settled there (when I say settled, I mean that he has a good job, earning a decent wage, has a nice home, and a great social life – he is still single). I’ve been to visit him 3 times and he’s been over to see me. We have kind of touched upon our feelings for each other, but generally I tend to avoid discussing our feelings, because once our true feelings are out in the open, I feel that a decision would have to be made as to what direction our relationship should take. I know he would never return to the UK permanently, so it would be up to me to go and live in Canada. Though part of me would love to be with him on a more permanent basis, I feel really uneasy about leaving my family behind. Well, actually, my family only consists of my sister, who I love dearly, and am very close to. My sister is in her 40’s and is also still single. She doesn’t have a wide circle of friends, and her social life basically revolves around me. I know she would miss me alot if I moved to Canada, and I would feel very bad about that. I’m in limbo at the moment and don’t know what to do for the best. I realise that I have to make my own decisions but any thoughts would be much appreciated.
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Hi As a bloke I am thinking that you may be pre empting your boyfriends true feelings for you. I understand your feelings but if he wanted you to be with him permanently then he would have asked you. I suspect that he may like things as they are and may not want to commit. My advice is to wait until he asks you, if it didn't work in the past what makes you think it is going to work now. Seeing you now and then is much different to living with each other every day. Make sure he wants you before you think of anything else.
The course of true love never runs smooth, but Im such a softie where love is concerned and you have one crack at it, make it count, you have to be a bit selfish here and think of yourself....your happiness, it seems like you are taking everyones feelings into account instead of what you really want..if you really really love him, then go to where he is...and be happy, it sounds to me as if you deserve some happiness, dont stay for your family's sake, i know you are all close, but you have to ask yourself what YOU want. Oh and please please do talk this through with this guy first, its a long way to move if it doesnt work out.....good luck ! ! Follow your heart. x
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