What could you NOT forgive?

[Smowball]

After my post lastnight, and reading another AB'ers post in FAMILY, what would you be unable to forgive your other half/partner for? Cheating?Stealing? Lying?........... or something else.

[douglas9401]

Probably the abuse of a second chance.

[Mamyalynne]

I think the situation would have to happen before I answered that, I would need to know the whys and wherefores and how deeply it affected our relationship.

[daffy654]

Cheating would be unforgivable to me, as would him hitting me or our son.

[rowanwitch]

Child abuse, badly hurting or killing someone, rape, beyond that it would depend if they were truly sorry and I cared enough to try to talk it through and make changes

But forgiving them doesn't mean I'd continue on a personal relationship with them... would be a lot easier for them to destroy that even though i might forgive them..

[DTCwordfan]

Agree ^

One has to allow for mental "blocks" or "conditions" as well before reaching a decision - too often an action as you describe, Smowball, is a plea for help.

[ummmm]

I wouldn't, and haven't, forgiven cheating.

I want the freedom to do as I please without question. I want the same for him. Cheating takes that freedom away.

I don't know about anything else as I haven't been faced with it.

[Smowball]

Its strange that we all think what we would never forgive, but when it came down to it I bet a lot of us would react differently. Hypothetically is very different from reality.

[MarkRae]

Voting Tory or supporting Sunderland. Everything else could be negotiated...

[DTCwordfan]

Agree with mamya first but rowan and daffy do raise good points on the abuse/physical damage side, the cheating I may want to dig deeper into the reasons and psychology before condemning them - and sometimes it takes "two to tango".

[coccinelle]

Definitely lying. That anyone can lye to my face is unforgivable.

[daffy654]

I have walked out on a man before for cheating on me and hitting me and my then 1 year old daughter, I know I would not hesitate to walk away if it happened again.

[tinkerbell23]

Abuse- be that mental physical etc....

Id like to say i forgive people and give a second chance....and ive gave WAAAY more than that which i regret but probobly not cheating because i would never be able to get over it xx

[ummmm]

No excuses DT.....cheating = a big fat NO.

[rowanwitch]

Forgiving someone doesn't mean trying to get back to where you were...where you were may have been part of the problem... where you go next is more significant. Things will never be the same...sometimes though they can change for the better if it is the shake up that stops you taking each other for granted...

[DTCwordfan]

And if you both hadn't been physical for months, or even years, ummmm - each situation is different. While generically you are correct, I think that there is more room in this one for "give" than say the abuse ones (def no no to both physical and mental abuse).

As to Smowball's comment, a lot of us haven't experienced the gamut of situations that you mention. Thank Goodness. I have experienced the cheating side - and we worked it through - for a while. It contributed to the divorce but that was for other reasons mainly.

[Smowball]

rowanwitch, you put that so well, and its very true

[DTCwordfan]

Rowan - so true.

[mccfluffy]

Abuse of an animal or someone weaker be that a child or adult.