Dont know what to do

[4getmenot]

Some of you may know that I have been very worried lately about my bloke while he's going through some tests for cancer. Its just I havent been able to speak to my closest mate about it. Every time she rings or comes round she has a problem with the boy she fancies or arguments at home. some really trivial things and before I can tell her she comes out with all this and then I feel I cant say anything, incase that stops her coming to me for advice. Does anyone get what I;m trying to say. She has just rang up to say she has booked an appointment at docs because she has funny feeling in tummy and thinks she can feel a lump. She's forever going to docs with allsorts I just want to talk to her but cant. I;m sure she can sense that I really cant be bothered with her love life at min. I just dont want to come across as selfish or trying to get sympathy if I do tell her.

[~spaced~]

4get im reeally sorry to hear about what you are going through at the mo, and I hope that everything works out fine.

If your friend is a real friend then she wouldnt feel hurt if you told her the truth. I would definately have a heart to heart with her.

[redcrx]

4get, i know she is a ditzy mare at times and off in a little world of her own, but sither down and tell her how youre feeling about your fella!

and Im there tomorrow eve if you want to go for a drink and a chat sis xxxxx

[funnygirl]

4get, talk to your friend. If she is a good friend she will not mind listening to your problems.

I think she will be more hurt if you kept it from her.

Together you can give each other the support you both need.

[4getmenot]

I've not told her for the 3 weeks I;ve known now and she may be really peed of that I havent. I dont mean to sound harsh but she goes on about her love life like its really bad. And now she's just rang up with this other problem how can I come out with it now, its like I;m gonna say it to be one up on her

[4getmenot]

And thanks sis but going swimming.

[Jerk]

how old is he 4get?

[4getmenot]

I dont know what I'd do if he had to go through it all again

[4getmenot]

27

[nat_84]

Hey 4get, sorry to hear what you're going through - must be a hard time for you!

Sh'es obviously on eof those people that can chat for ENgland and never know when to stop, so if we look at it from her perspective she's just going on like she always does and is OBVIOUSLY completely unaware of what you and your family are going through. She NEEDS you to sit her down or just tell her to shut up for 5 minutes so that you can explain everything to her. She'll probably feel pathetic about going on about her "troubled" love life and be there for you and you'll feel a whole lot better too x

[4getmenot]

but thats just it I dont want her to feel pathetic or that she needs to pay me any attention over it all

[Lakitu]

I think you should ask to meet up with her, tell her what's going on, but tell her you don't want her to make a big deal out of it, just to understand when there are times that you are not enthusiastic about her love life etc.

I'll come out for a drink with you and red, we'll get drunk together (unless red is feeding, then she can carry us home:) )

[redcrx]

lol i'll be there but youd have to carry me home as i havnt had a drink in over a year and even then i was trolleyed on a bottle of wine!

good idea lakitu re: 4gets friend!

[Hitler]

27? OMG I hope it all goes ok.

[4getmenot]

Hitler it wouldnt be so bad but he had cancer 4 years ago. It may all be ok but the waitings making it worse. I have told another friend of mine and my mum, was gonna tell my mate lastnight but she ended up not coming round and going round the boys she fancies. Didn�t tell anyone to start with because was just gonna wait for a definite result. Maybe I should do that.

[Hellyon]

4get sweetie, she's your friend, telling her what's going on in your life is not 'one upmanship' it's sharing your problems like you do here. Be honest with her and tell her exactly what you've told us, it sounded perfectly reasonable and caring to me and I'm not your best friend. Then when you do get together with her, listen to her problems and tell her yours that's what being friends is all about.
I hope all goes well with your fella big hug ((((((x)))))))

[4getmenot]

I also dont want her being funny around him

[4getmenot]

and even though I know she wouldnt gossip about something like that I;m afraid that she might tell the bloke she fancies and it will get round town. Thats why I have only told 2 friends that dont live round here. I know I should tell her bcoz she will be upset that I havent but its hard

[Lakitu]

(((4get))) xxx

[4getmenot]

dont make me cry you lot

[nat_84]

But why wait for the result..? You still need a friend and like you said the waiting is what can be worse. Just sit her down and tell her casually...?