Contacting Unknown Family

[DEN53]

Can I just run this past others to see what you think:

My Aunt died when she was 48 some 22 years ago now. She never knew her Dad as he left her Mum during war times. Her Mum remarried and he adopted my Aunt. Though, she was never wanted and eventually was brought up by her Nan. I have been doing some digging around on Family Tree sites and have found out her real Dad remarried and had a daughter, who would be around 64ish now and is still alive.

I have passed this information onto my cousin, who has drafted a letter to send to this lady - she has today shown me a copy and I think it sounds o.k. We obviously do not know if this lady knows anything about my Aunt or the fact her Dad was married before and had a daughter.

Would you try and make contact or leave well alone. Me, myself, I would send the letter.

In fact this lady lives quite near to me.

[Old_Geezer]

If tactful I don't see why not. I used to contact many folk when I was looking up my family tree. Appreciate it is a little more awkward in the situation you describe, but I don't see why that would prevent you from making contact.

[ethandron]

i'd give it a go den, there's a lot of water under the bridge so i doubt there would by any hard feelings involved. and there may well be a lot of positives.
we had a similar situation in my husbands family a few years ago. contact was made which resulted in some family photographs being exchanged and now contact has tailed off to a christmas card, which suits both sides.

[bednobs]

i think it depends what the cousin wants to get out of it

[DEN53]

Thanks for your replies, Old Geezer and Ethandron.

My Aunt never looked like her Mum, so we are guessing she was like her Dad, it would be lovely to see a photo of him. I also found out he died quite young aswell, 59yrs old.

[dotty.]

It's very much an individual thing, the daughter you want to contact may know that there is a half sibling or other relatives out there but has never had the opportunity to seek them out. She may know nothing about it and has little family of her own and would be delighted to meet new relatives.
You'll only know if you contact her. there is never a right answer as there are too many variables.

[craft1948]

My aunt (my uncle's wife) asked me to do her family tree and told me she was illegitimate. I eventually found details of her natural father who had unfortunately died by this time. I did however find some cousins and they were all, without exception, overjoyed to find out about her..........they are currently making arrangements to have a big family get-together.

[Barmaid]

I found a second family of my FH's grandfather. I wrote to his cousin (who, it appears is a quite well known film producer), although sadly we received no response. Go for it though, nothing to lose.

[johne1892]

Yeah, go for it. I think most families are always interested in finding out about other family members.

Who knows, they may be sitting wondering if they had any relatives they didn't know about.

[joko]

i would make contact...life is too short to always be wondering, and in terms of this daughter its not like the dad left her and she would be bitter about him an his family

also there isnt so much of the stigma like the old days about stuff like this, and people i think are generally more open to things

[DEN53]

Thanks for all your answers - I told my cousin to contact, what would be step Aunt.

I think many years ago, when my Aunt was alive, she tried to find her Father, but there was internet then or Family Tree sites, so I don't think she had much luck. Its such a shame, as she was a lovely lady, generous with love and affection, and it would have been great if she could have found this half sister back then.