House is hotel for son's mates...

[Smowball]

Son is 12. Since he started secondary school his friends are over most weekends, lots of sleepovers.......but the favour is never returned. Its not to do with my son personally as he has never even met their parents, but im getting a bit fed up with it. They drink everything in the fridge, break flowers in the garden playing footie, I cant go out when they are here aswoudnt leave a child thats not mine here with out an adult so am stuck in most of the time. I ask him why they never invite back, they say they will but dont actually do it. one came today, again!! I asked hm why he never returned the favour and he just shrugged and said "dunno". he is still here! Grrr

[cazzz1975]

sometimes there could be more to it for some friends, when I was a kid I used to go to friends houses but couldnt invite them to mine because I was living in a hostel.

[Manjo]

One good thing about it you know where they are and what they are doing.

[slinky.kate]

how many friends are we talking about at the one time roughly

[Robinia]

Just don't do it.
I'm glad all this sleep over malarkey didn't start until after my sons were grown up. The only time one friend stayed here was when they camped in the garden...maybe you need to buy a tent? :o)

[solvitquick]

Sorry Smowball but you are making a number of grave mistakes by letting the children into your home at all. Regarding food or drink, say "no bring your own in future". Re: sleepovers I think you are taking a real risk. I do not know legal details but suspect that when you allow sleep-overs, you are then responsible for their safety. If they fall down stairs or have a serious accident I'll bet the parents will blame you and sue.
No matter where they live say no "go home" and put them out on the street. They are the parents responsibility and if they are not supervising their childrens safety it's their responsibilty not yours.
I do not see that it's nothing to do with your son. Explain to him the reasons for your actions and future attitude. You are being too soft on the whole lot and are already suffering garden-damage and stress. You are also teaching your son that he, friends and their negligent parents can walk all over you. Get your son on your side and between you eliminate the whole nonsense. If he prefers the rest of them to you (at the moment) be strict with him, and do not let him try emotional blackmail.
You are being so kind it's bordering on stupidity. Act in your own interest because if you don't and you get into trouble with law, your son will suffer too!

[joko]

its not about 'returning the favour' or 'their side of the deal' - there is no 'deal', they have agreed to nothing.

you cannot do something and just expect everyone else to follow suit, just because you did it and you want them to!

your gripes are the exact reason why their parents dont allow it.

if you dont like it, change it, but you cant start getting mardy with other parents about it...!

[ummmm]

Some OTT opinions here!!

[tonyav]

Mardy, i like it haven't heard that for years.

[naomi24]

Your son is a child - and therefore what you allow him to do is your choice.

[friedgreentomato]

I agree with joko

[NOX]

Personally I don't see your problem, we always had pretty much an open house for any of the kids friends and it was never an issue, because at 12 they are quite capable of fending for themselves within the house, and being left alone, you really don't have to babysit a 12 year old. However it clearly bothers you so don't agree to so many sleepovers, but you can't expect other parents to return like for like, life's not like that, there's no deal or exchange, there is just hosipitality which if you don't want to give it in the first place, don't.

[ummmm]

I think most parents are okay with it....but you do get some days where you want some peace and quiet. I know I felt bad if I turned friends away...just because I wanted peace.

[Smowball]

Blimey, that told me! lol

[cathfromsaron]

i do sympathise snowball!

but why not put your foot down with a firm hand, as my old mum would say!

[Old_Geezer]

http://www.idolme.com...00003624180xsmall.jpg

;-)

[tinkerbell23]

Our house my mum always said "halfway house" was always mine folk stayed at etc...i did stay at others aswell....

Now an again my mum would say u are either IN or OUT stop coming in lol
Or would tell me to not come back till dinner- bottle
Of water given and bye bye!! Lol...im
Sure we used to leave our juice by the doorstep lol.

Now an again is ok but i guess u just have to say no!! My mum is alwys on at my aunt who always has the sleepovers for my cousins mates an seems
To cook dinner for extra kids all
The time xxx

[Smowball]

lol @ OG.

Actually, after me querying with the boy over the other day why he never thought of inviting my son back to his, after he got picked up at dinner time he then rang the house an hour later and invited my son to stay on sat eve. In fact for all sat afternoon and night. So me and Mr Smo went out and had a meal. Made a change lol

[EcclesCake]

When I was a teenager my home was the one that was favoured because my Mum cooked nice food and there was always some pop in the fridge and crisps in the cupboard.

My friend's Mum cooked something akin to Turkey Twizzlers, we got water to drink and crisps were a treat.

Perhaps if you forget to restock the fridge and snack cupboard your home might become less appealing.......

[HowardKennitby]

Start charging your son for what his pals eat.

[Smowball]

Think your right eccles, they keep taking all the cans of coke/diet coke and seem to hoover up my home made cakes.
HK, maybe we should come up with a price list for them, I like it : )