my child wont settle down at night

[randyrat]

when we put our six year old to bed she wont settle down. she continually gets up and comes downstairs until perhaps three hours later. any ideas?

[Lindy Loo]

A mallet??!! Seriously you're not alone, many youngsters go through it. What is her bedtime routine? Has she been doing this long? Have there been any changes recently..new house, new baby, different school, is she being bullied...? These can all upset what was a settled little girl. Have a chat and see if anything is worrying her, speak to her teacher to see if all is ok there. If everything is ok, try a star chart. A small reward could be given for each night she settles without fuss (extra bedtime story, a favourite desert, etc) and a real treat at the end of a week (trip to McD's, cinema, etc) and plenty of praise. Unfortuntely children also respond to the negative, so if you get up tight, she's still gettng your attention.!! My mum tried a different tack when I was about 9. I was caught sitting on the stairs trying to watch the TV through an the lounge door...I was made to sit in the lounge (with the TV off)till she went to bed at about 11pm, then she dragged me out of bed at 6.30am to get ready for school!!! It worked...was falling asleep in class!! After that I aways went to bed when told!!!

[Hammer]

I assume she's not upset or distressed when she comes down, but is just asserting herself. If so, tell her firmly that it's bedtime, but don't say anything else. Make her go straight back upstairs, or carry her up there, and try to avoid eye contact or any other attention. If you don't react she will soon get bored. If she is upset or frightened, that's a different story...

[paulhopps22]

There is a fab book called " Toddler Taming " , its written by a guy and its excellent . It tackles all sorts f child problems and is also a damn good read ! . Its full of practicle and sometimes radical advice . One thing I will say , its not full of American clap trap or political correctness. Just plain advice from aguy who has actually been through it all. Get it , it should be recommended reading for ALL parents.( sorry cant remember the authors name but try Amazon )

[peace]

I agree with lindy loo, try to find out if there is an underlying problem. If not try different things at bedtime til you find the majic one. You could even try a later bedtime it maybe that she just isn't tired when you first put her to bed. Peace

[Insane Wally]

My other half used to 'pretend' to go to bed at the same time when this started happening to us. She put them in bed, turned the lights out & went to bed herself. Then she got up once she knew they were asleep. If they wouldn't settle in their own bed, she put them in her bed with her, then left them there until we went to bed for real. We've got 4 now so we're used to it, but with the 1st we used to get 'phenagon' (probably misspealt), & gave him half a spoonfull a bedtimes which knocked him out (until he got imune to it). If you do use it, it may make her hyper.