potty training

[ethanryan]

hi my son is 2 And a half and is still in nappies. he knows what the potty and toilet are for and will use them, but only if he has nothing on his bottom half. he runs around the house with no nappy on and will use the toilet with no accidents but as soon as i put pants on gim he dont tell me till after her has done it. i tried just putting trousers on with no pants incase the tightness of the pants made him feel like he had a nappy on but that didnt work either. we have been at this stage for about 6 months. people say he has plenty of time, but he is ready and knows what he is doing wrong, he just needs a bit of a push in the right direction. he starts nursery in january and needs to be out of nappies in the day. can anyone help

[lorri24601]

how about trying to make it fun, on dragons den the other day a man had some ping pong type balls with faces on them to put in the toilet to engage the child in making it a fun thing ( i imagine an aiming game lol), he said super drug and boots both bought some from him so you could try them, or alternatively design your own ,

[ethanryan]

hi lorri, yeah i saw them to. not sure if they would help as he does no what the toilet is for and will use it. his problem is he gets so distracted with his toys that he forgets untill its to late. i remind him every so often and ask him if he needs to go but he says no, i take him to the toilet and make him try but he still does it in his pants. i have tried taking his toys offf him when he has a accident, telling him he can have his toy back when he uses the toilet but it dont work. i dont want to shout at him cause this might make things worse

[VillageVicar]

May I share my own experience with my children. My daughter took to the potty almost instinctively when she was 18 months. However, my son followed a pattern similar to what you�re experiencing.

I believe strongly that you reward positive results and you ignore negative results. Chastising, raised voices or worse can be damaging to not only the bond between parent and child, but to the developmental psyche.

We used a �star� achievement system. For every successful use of his potty, he received a celebratory gold star, which we would place, with great ceremony, on the fridge door. And a goal was established that once he achieved five gold stars, he would get to go to the zoo (another educational positive reinforcement tool).

Although there were a couple of �accidents,� the process went remarkably well and fast. And with hand on heart, within a fortnight, we had achieved our goal.

It is natural that there may still be occasional accidents. However, I feel that if you pursue this methodology you may be pleased with the results.

I wish you every success

Fr Bill

[Ice-Maiden]

Have you tried trainer pants? They stay a little wet without marking or coming through clothes, and if your son starts to feel uncomfortable, maybe he'll want to use the toilet or potty without much fuss. The main thing is to stay calm with him. I honestly thought that one of mine'd end up going to NURSERY in nappies, but try not to worry too much. You don't hear of too many adults walking around in them, so as each child goes at its own pace, he'll get over the problem in good time.

[Dusty Bin]

Agree with nearly all the above.

I wouldn't "ignore negative results".

Instead remind your wee fella of just how grown up he seemed to be when he WAS using the potty/toilet, and express mild disappointment that he fell short of the standards he'd previously set himself.

Look forward to the next time and hope for better.

Rewarding the positives IS the key, however, even if this is just telling others in your family what a big grown-up boy your lad is now.

[ethanryan]

thanks for all your answers, i havnt tried the training pants yet wasnt sure if it would confuse him. i have tried taking him to the shops in his pants and taking him the toilet often but we go through 5 or 6 pairs of pants and trousers.

[Ice-Maiden]

I think the trainer pants might be the solution for you then. It'll make less washing, and make your little boy feel more comfortable when he goes out. Good luck with it.

[VillageVicar]

Ice: Apologies, I probably didn�t verbalise this properly. Just to clarify: when I suggest to �ignore negative results� I mean that we would attend to cleaning up, getting things back in order, but during the process, there was no cute, warm interaction � only functional conversation to facilitate the cleaning. If your family is highly interactive in dialogue with your children, they can immediately feel your disappointment.

Whilst I don�t think this is particularly relative to this thread, I will add that if by chance your child is consuming �low sugar� or �no added sugar� products, which are replaced by Aspartame, your child could be encountering a form of PIB or paediatric irritable bowel. This is not a common occurrence, but it is manifesting itself more and more in children, due to the frightening amount of aspartame children are consuming unknowingly. Whilst each single item does not exceed the maximum safe limits, the cumulative daily intakes can exceed those limits by almost 500%. It can begin with toothpaste, then move to morning vitamins, a Five Alive fruit drink or Ribena, then to crisps, fizzy drinks, chewing gum, candies, mints, and even evening puddings.

However, as I have alluded, I don�t feel this is the issue here. Child development specialists suggest that boys tend to be a bit more relaxed about potty training than girls and as such can take a few months longer than girls.

I do wish you every success

Fr Bill

[aims1202]

Havent read the other answers so sorry if i repeat anything.
If he is using the toilet ok then i wouldnt worry too much. The best thing to do would be to completely ignore the fact he has had an accident in his pants, every time. Just change him without saying anything about it. Try not to even show you are annoyed or anything. When he uses the toilet give him lots of praise and even a reward, make a big deal of it. He'll soon stop having accidents all the time.

[redcrx]

my son is the same. He will use potty all the time for poo but when it comes to wee he will only use it when he has no clothes on.

Hes 28 months old so Im not worrying that hes too old for nappies.

I was told that if you start them too early then they still train by the same time they would have if you hadnt pushed it too soon (does that make sense? i have pregnancy brain)

why not use the trainer pants / pullups for a bit and try again in a few weeks?

[ethanryan]

thanks redcrx glad im not the only one with the same problem, its so frustrating cause he knows what he is doing wrong.

[redcrx]

lol, yep, and they know that its causing you stress so find it highly amusing to carry on.

My son stood behind me on my lovely leather office chair the other day, in his little pants, and said 'helloe mummy, Im weeing on your chair'. I was soaked, the chair was a puddle and he found it funny!

Dont go through the stress and worry, leave it a bit and try again. Once day he will decide that he wont wee in his pants any more and youll both be happier.

[tazz]

my boy didnt toilet train till he was 3 i had probs with him, he now dry all the time. put him in pants but when he wets dont change him straight away. he`ll soon get fed up with being cold n wet, hope this helps, worked 4 me.

[aims1202]

I dont really agree that if you leave toilet training until they are older then it is easier. It is usually easier if they are younger, ideally to start before they are 2yrs old. As children get older they have more fears and are more worried about things. They often have more anxiety about toilet training if they are older. it doesnt really matter how long it takes them to get it, if mum/dad are relaxed about it and show they are not annoyed about accidents, they will get it in the end. Trainer pants are a waste of time, it feels same as a nappy and they will just do it in them.
If you completely ignore the fact he has accidents, wait a few mins then change him saying 'never mind next time you'll get in the toilet', he will soon stop having them. remember to praise and give reward every time he uses toilet. good luck

[ethanryan]

thanks everyone, i have decided not to bother with the training pants and just take lots of spare clothes with us everywhere we go.