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wetting the bed

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zoi-faye | 20:13 Fri 28th Sep 2007 | Parenting
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my son is 4yrs and 4 mnth, he has been dry throughout the day with maybe only 3 accidents since he was 2yrs 5 mnth.. however i cannot get him to go through the night i have tried for weeks at a time only to be woken of cries of a wet bed every night, when wearing a nappy or pull up at night its always bursting full by morning...... i've tried to get him up to use the toilet when i go to bed but this either results in me being un able to wake him enough to get him to pee,,,, or totally waking him therefore wont go back to bed.... does anyone have any idea's please????
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He is still quite young to worry about night night dryness but of course that's just my opinion :)
My almost 4 year old shows no signs of being dry at night and she is a she who are apparently easier than boys :). Her pull up is also full to bursting eveyr morning although it rarely soaks through

I wouldn't worry until maybe he gets to age 7 or 8 and if he is still in nappies then, see your GP

Just by the mere fact he is dry during the day shows he can use his bladder but maybe he sleeps very deeply at night? I can pick my dd up, put her on the floor to remake her bed and then put her back in it and she won't even stop snoring LOL

ojx
Does he have a drink before he goes to bed? I would try stopping all drinks say a couple of hours before bedtime (make sure he drinks loads in day) and get him to go the toilet before bed. Let him know that its not a problem if he wets the bed and not to be annoyed or angry with him if he does, just say never mind and change sheets.
I looked after a girl who was 6 and still wearing nappies at night. She was really worried about wetting the bed because her mum had made her think she wouldnt be happy with her. Her mum didnt realise this though and once she told her it was ok and she didnt mind if she had an accident, the nappies were off and she didnt wet. Hope this helps.
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ojread2 thankyou for that.... yes he does sleep deeply and i too can change the bed without him waking so maybe your right he just sleeps too deep and that would explain why i cant even half wake him to get him to use the toilet.... however i've asked other mums at his school and mostly get looked at horrified as they mostly saying there kids do go through the night and have done for a while.... its hard to know whats right or wrong.... and on the occasions ive tried no pull ups he gets so so upset that he's wet the bed and gets really tearful and apologetic as if i'd be cross at him that then i feel bad for him and put his pull ups back on..... who knows.... i dont!!!!! zoi-faye
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thankyou aims1202.... No i never tell him off for being wet he has bunk beds which is handy so can just shift him into other bed and strip wet one..... however he does seem really upset when it happens like he expects me to be mad but i dont know why as i have never told him off for night wetting.... i will try the no drinks thing... thankyou zoi-faye
I agree about mums at the school gate looking horrified but then in today's social world if you give your child a single chocolate button they are also horrified :)

What I'm trying to say is please, please don't go by what other people's children are doing. I know it is so easy to feel it is down to something you have done or are doing but trust me, it isn't.

I work with pre-school children and I can not tell you how many 4 year olds are still in nappies during the day.

On the subject of drinks before bed and stopping them, this is something I have doe some reading about. Stopping a child having a drink a few hours before bedtime can actually exacerbate the whole problem because the urine become concentrated therefore more irritant ot the bladder. This can in turn lead to bladder and/or urine infections which are more common in young children than we think. Personally I wouldn't go down this route - I have dealt with enuresis clinics and they advise not to withdraw drinks before bedtime. What you could try is giving only pure juices and cut out squashes and additives. For example No Added Sugar and Sugar Free usually mean sweeteners so your son is having (unnecessary) additives in his diet which could be avoided by giving pure juice or juice from concentrate maybe watered down a wee bit? Doesn't have to be expensive as the own brand pure juice is as good as branded our juice. Also give more water if you're son will drink it

I promise you he will do it when he is ready, honestly.
Trusy me, I'm a parent LOL

ojx
I should have put problem in ' ', because it isn't a problem really, it's just something that happens iyswim?

ojx
My eldest is nearly seven and his best friend is seven and a bit. They really want to start sleeping over at each other's, but his friend says, very matter-of-factly, "I'm not dry at night so I can't stay over yet." Bless him.

At this age it's still not a problem, really. My mum always says my sister was in nappies at night way past five years old, and the District Nurse (how quaint!!) told her not to worry - if she was ok during the day, it was purely a physical thing at night and that as she grew, so her bladder would get stronger. And she was right, of course...

(Also, I've given up discussing anything with other mums because something always makes me feel like a hopelessly inadequate parent. Even good friends will have a whole different way of doing things xx)
My son was almost seven before we took him out of pull-ups over night. He got so upset when he wet the bed that it didnt seem worth it. A couple of times we tried without them. The first time he wet the bed a couple of nights into the trial and he lost his confidence, so we waited a couple of months and tried again. The second time he was completely happy and all went well. I would just do what feels right and ignore other parents, teachers and nurses! I never discuss things like this with parents of children the same age because there always seems to be an element of competition and a need to get the upper hand.
Sorry i didnt mean i thought you got cross with him for wetting the bed. Sometimes children pick up on the way we are feeling even if we are not cross or annoyed they can think we are just because we arent totally relaxed about it. The little girl i looked after really was anxious about wetting the bed and even though her mum was never cross it was as if she still believed that it was a problem that she did wet. When mum relaxed about it and told her daughter it was ok, her girl soon stopped feeling anxious herself and soon stopped wetting. The nappies were gone for good and her mum said it doesnt matter if you wet the bed, no problem and when mum really believed this thats when it worked.
This might not be it, but the fact he is so upset when he does it sounds as though he is anxious.
Not sure i agree about stopping the drinks at bedtime, i didnt find this did any harm as long as they drink a lot at dinner time or just after.
My younger brother had this problem too. He was taken to the doctors and given a "buzzer" for night-time. Not sure exactly how it works, but it wakes the child up when they need the toilet, eventually it becomes a natural reaction. It's worked great. Definately talk to your GP. Good luck!
Hi, theres loads of kids at this age who arn't dry, my 7 year old has been for years and was the quickest of my 3, but will still have an "accident" if she is really tired, have drank lots of coke and not gone to the toilet. My son (whose now 15) was worse, I remember letting the scout leader know that he might have an accident at camp. Some kids sleep deeper, their bladders take longer to mature, or what they drink irritates the bladder, as in caffiene in coke. Don't restrict fluids before bed, this isn't the answer, it's the kind of fluid, and I had a routine of toilet, teeth, toilet or "wees & teeth & wees again" which helped. The biggest thing however was milk consumption. Cows milk (which my son loved and my 7 year old doesn't) can cause bed wetting. Google it. Good luck, I agree with the not telling parents thing! To P**s some parents off years ago, I gave my 5 year old a Thomas Hardy novel to walk through the playground reading (not that she noticed) but lots of mothers did! lol
After reading your blog posting, we would like to suggest another point of view. Diapers only keep the bed dry and often prolong suffering. They do not serve to treat the underlying cause, the deep sleep disorder. We work with the Enuresis Treatment Center. For 32 years, the Enuresis Treatment Center has successfully treated thousands of people from around the world who thought there was no hope for ending bedwetting. Bedwetting, or enuresis, is actually caused by deep sleep, not to be mistaken for healthy sleep. This deep sleep causes a disconnect between the brain and bladder, and the bedwetting occurs as a result. The Enuresis Treatment Center has put together an informative guide to understanding and treating bedwetting. This free bedwetting guide is available to download atwww.freebedwettingguide.com.

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