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mnko | 20:17 Wed 02nd Aug 2006 | Parenting
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whenever i visit my nan (his mum) she says he asks after me as i live in a diff country. but only does this when his "wife" cant hear him? i have tried confronting him about the abuse but he says he did nothing wrong, i was a naughty child? My sister who is 19 months older than me was the apple of his eye, she got everything. i was small and coud'nt fight back when he abused me, but now i know i could. I have vowed to myself that i wont turn out like him. i love my 2 children so much and could'nt imagine ever doing to them what was done to me. HOW CAN ANYONE HURT THEIR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?
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I do not know mnko, but wouldn't getting in touch with your Father just bring al this back to haunt you?
My Mum died last year, and when were little she used to whip us with a leather belt if we were naughty. I also once called her a stupid cow under my breath and she washed my mouth out with a bar of soap. Pretty awful, but now she's gone I have to deal with mt demons in much the same way you will have to deal with yours.
My method - I let what happened to me make me a better mother to my sons.
This sounds so familiar!

Tiggergirl same things happened to us with the soap, it was a bamboo cane for us though! but from my dad, when i told my mum the other day she couldnt even remember!

Mnko! You need to do what you feel is right for you!
We had bad things happen when we were young my dad was kicked out by my mum when i was 8, my little brother was 3 and my older disabled brother was 12, we went to see him under supervision for a while, then on our own, when i was 18 he hit me infront of my brothers, I havent spoken to him since, i hate him and will never want to see him again, my younger brother now works for him and my older brother sees him on a weekend! At the end of the day it is our own individual decision to make, you need to decide if you can forgive him for what he did to you, and if the answer is yes then maybe you should get in contact with him, but be prepared for it to not go according to plan if you do!

My thoughts are with you! x

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