Complaints regarding nursery's/ pre-schools

[stressed out]

Last Friday i took my son as normal to his nursery, when i collected him he was crying, distressed and his tooth was bleeding! When i asked the manageress what had occured she told me he had buckled over his own feet, fallen off a chair and fell face forward on the floor!
I was asked to sign their Accident Book and did so not thinking anything.
Over the weekend my son was very difficult and whingey. He has gone off his usual bottles of milk and complained that he had pain and refused most food and drink.
Out of the blue he kept saying "Boy, hurt" and doing an acyion of a punch 3 times towards his chin/mouth area.
I tried to ask if he had fallen etc.. but he said no and continued to repeat the same words! He does'nt lie about these things, he's only 2 and a half, and although some kids do tell tales i know my son and i know that if he had hurt himself he uses his name and says "(his name) hurt". I am refusing to take him back mainly because the staff lied to me, i understand that kids hit each other and scrap and i would have probably taken him back if it could have been resolved and if the staff had been honest!
I already called my Social Worker to discuss this and he tried to call the nursery but when he mentioned his title they told him the manageress was busy with someone to take the call! He gave me OFSTED's number so i phoned them to discuss the incident, they have since written to me and told me that they will not investigate the particular incident but if the nursery are keeping to their standards.
I'm not satisfied with this and would like something done about what happened to my son. Is there someone else i can contact to sort this out?

Thanks

[kazza12345]

sorry, but how do you know what happened to your son? you weren't there, and the staff who were there have given you an explanation. My personal opinion is that you are way overreacting, and the fact that it is not being taken seriously by "the authorities" just confirms this. Things happen to kids, even if they have someone with them all of the time. Personally i find it just as credible that he would have fallen over as that another kid hit him. Even if another kid did hit him, maybe the staff didnt see it, but later saw him falling over? Are you otherwise satisfied with the nursey? It seems a bit much to get s/w and ofsted involved to me, and they are both palming you off anyway, probably have you down as an overanxious parent.
I think it is possible to let the guilt you feel at having to take him to a nursery has manifested itself in paranoia?

Anyway, that is just my opinion, and i'm sure it was unwelcome, so i am going to answer your q. If you want to "sort it out" i think it's best you discuss it rationally with the nursery directly, and allow them to respond to your acusations

[PinkFizz]

I have to say that I agree mostly with what Kazza has said.As a mum of 4 kids I have had more than my fair share of incidents to deal with in nurseries and schools,and to go to all the authorities on the word of a 2 yr old who by the sounds of it barely speaks is way over the top.
You should have at least gone back to the nursery and told them what your child had said and about the actions,and then see what they said.They aren't going to be very impressed that you have taken this so far without even going back to them for another chat.

[nik1971]

stressed out i sympathise with you,and take a different stance to the other replies, i had worked in several nurseries before seeing sense for years prior to me setting up my own childcare buisness and see this matter from both sides. firstly as kazza states they may be seeing you as an over anxious parent, but why shouldnt you be? you are having to leave your son with people you dont REALLY know? the manager should be making some contact with you to resolve the matter and put your mind at rest.
accidents do happen in nurseries as much as anywhere,but in this instance if what the nursery is telling you is correct,where the hell were the staff when your son managed to fall over his own feet and fall face down off a chair? my worry is that the children are not being suitable supervised.
if what your son is telling you is correct,and in my opinion a 2 and half yr old is perfectly capable of explaining an incident,then i would pursue your dealings with ofsted further, in my view social services are a waste of time, ofsted have a duty to follow up ANY complaints and deal with them appropriatly,whatever happened to your son,the fact is a child got hurt.. whilst in the care of nursery staff.
having my own childacre buisness i feel confident that parents would never feel the need to contact ofsted as i know the children are given the level of care expected.
hope all works out for you.

[kazza12345]

it's very interesting to see different viewpoints. Surely stressed out isn't being forced by gunpoint to leave her/his child with people they dont really know? Why hasnt he/she made an effort to get to know the nursey and its staff a bit more if this is the case.
How do you know your son wasn't trying to say he had hit another boy on the chin?

[PinkFizz]

Also,surely you have chosen your nursery on recommendation,and have stayed with your son for quite a few sessions before you left him there.And also got to know the staff yourself? If so then surely you would trust them and have a gut instinct about the place,and know if they were lying to you or not?
I just don't understand why you accepted what they said,but when your son gave you the impression that events were different,why didnt you go back up there and say "look,Im not calling anybody a liar whatsoever,but my son is saying ..........". And then give them the chance to see what they said.

[nik1971]

if i may just add that although all nursery staff may be trained and police checked,this does not make them a suitabley good nursery nurse/assistant. this comes from experience.
make of that as you will?

[maggie01]

Nik1971. Whenever anything occurs in a pre-school/nursery, the first thing anyone says is "Where on earth were the staff" If you have worked in this situation yourself, then you will know that with all the will in the world you can watch a child for hours and the minute you turn your back some mishap can occur. I work in a pre-school and I know every effort is made to keep the children totally safe but sometimes unfortunately little accidents happen. I have to say I don't think anyone should go to the authorities with first going back to speak to the manager of the pre-school.

[nik1971]

maggie, when it comes down to the safety of children and the peace of mind of parents thats what the authorities are there for is it not?
none of us know the child aswell as his mum and she feels so strongly about this matter that she is willing to take it to the services and ofsted. if it puts her mind at rest then why is that a bad thing?
stressed out you should do whatever you see fit.
nik.

[stressed out]

I'm astounded at some of the answers given!
I know what my son was trying to say to me because he has said it repeatedly and i am not mistaking what he told me. I did get to know the staff but people are'nt always the same to your face as they are behind closed doors! And i would expect any parent to want something about an incident like this, especially knowing the staff lied to you?! And with regards to approaching the staff to discuss this with them, why should i? they lied to me, what do you think they will say this time? They'll just stick to their original story. When i enrolled him the manageress could'nt stop blowing their trumpet about how well established they are and have been there for 28 years and that they had a large enough team of staff to supervise the children... No one's going to be honest if there's something not quite right, they will lie and cover their backs. I'm not an over anxious parent just one that does'nt want my little boy to be injured in the care of qualified people because they are not doing their job and be lied to! And it was'nt that i was'nt taken seriously by the authorities as Kazza12345 said, it was that in the letter they wrote to me they said they don't investigate particular incidents as there will be conflicting accounts of events and it will be the parents word against the nursery. It's not like the nursery if approached by them will say "Yes, very sorry, we lied" Or vice versa! And besides how did you come to the conclusion that they did'nt take me "seriously" you don't know what the letter says and you don't know me to judge me so harshly, you only know what i have posted in this question to you all. Sorry if this is blunt but i was'nt looking for people to question me but to offer me advice or an address/ phone number/ link. Thanks to those who understand where i'm coming from.
Thanks

[kazza12345]

well i am astounded by your position on the matter too really! Good job we're all different isn't it!

[stressed out]

What's that supposed to mean?! What have i said that outstands you?
I would expect any parent to be concerned and protect their child especially when someone who you've entrusted to take care of them, they are a registered institution and have to follow guidelines and rules, i'm sure none of them state they can lie to a parent regarding their child!
If you're not so bothered about my post and think it trivial then fair enough but i did'nt ask for opinions on my feelings but for information.

[curiosity]

Well, I don't mean to offend, but if you are this angry and uptight on a regular basis, then your son will probably start learning to give you something to be angry and uptight about, as it could be possible that you question him about the ins and outs of everything, looking for something wrong, even when there isn't, that he feels the need to please. Oh by the way I'm not saying he was or wasn't hit, or it was or wasn't witnessed by staff, he is two and a half, what gives his story some attention from you is that it angers you as there is possibly a wrong doing, if you don't have a word with yourself now, your trueful son will learn to tell porkies to get a reaction. Sorry waiting for the onslaught, but hey...it's my opinion.

[kazza12345]

As i've said before it astounds me that you seem to have made such a mountain out of a molehill (in my opinion)
"boy hurt" could mean absolutely anything, despite whether your son is truthful or not, not nessacarily " a boy hurt me" maybe the staff didn't witness an "incident" if one occurred, therefore are not deliberately lying to you?

IU havent said i am not bothered about your post - it bothers me a lot, but i agree, you are right about wanting advice rather than opinions ... but if you read my answer you'll see i did give you advice on how to sort it out too

[FlowerPetal]

WOW! clam down ladies and gents.....we are all supposed to be on the same side here are we not........ cared for children?
Stressed....hun, i can completley understand where you are coming from and you have EVERY right to complain if you feel the nursery has not fulfilled their rights and followed their policies and procedures to look after your child safely. I would say that not facing them again is something you should not have done. In my opinion, i would have gone back OR written a letter asking for a full investigation. It is true that accidents happen that the staff only catch the end off and with young children, they surmise the rest of what could have happened. I am a day nursery manager with a 17 yrs experience and i have seen this happen in a few nurseries. Im not saying it is right, but what they should have done is say "Mum, we found him on the floor face down and we really dont know how it happened or if it was done by somebody else." Could it be that he was so upset by the incident that he wouldnt tell them what had happened?
I dont think people giving 'Advice' on what kind of parent you are is very helpful, but everybody has their own opinion on what should have been done by anybody in whatever situation. Everybody does things differently and thats how life should be.
Trust your instincts, but do confront the nursery again. Even if it gives you some kind of closure.
good luck and fingers crossed for the outcome you wish.

[stressed out]

Thanks FlowerPetal, at least someone is'nt attacking me/ my personality but seeing that i am concerned for my little boy. I did think of writing a letter to the nursery but i wanted to approach someone else who could help first so i have something to back me up. I'm waiting for my social worker to contact OFSTED again.
Curiousity, how do you come to the conclusion that 'i am this angry all the time'?! What? Just because there's been a serious injustice done and i want to resolve it? I know what my son is saying to me, in fact he continues to say the same thing, to me and everyone else around him whether that be my family or friends, he is intelligent and i don't appreciate my own intelligence being questioned.
Thanks again though to all those who are on my wavelength.