I'm in a mess

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Nay35 | 12:31 Fri 27th Aug 2010 | Relationships & Dating
22 Answers
My Boyfriend and I have been together nearly two years but we seem to have stayed in the same stage of our relationship for the last year.

Got in touch with an old college friend who I had a crush on when at college (not any more) I found out he is engaged to a lovely girl. Then yesterday another old friend who I met on holiday many years ago emailled me and told me he has just proposed to his long term girlfriend at the top of the Eiffel Tower, (So romantic).

My bf is 6 years younger than me and says he is not ready for marriage and kids etc. Should I wait for him to be ready (by that time will probably be too old to have kids) or dump and move on. Problem is I love him so much and can't bear the thought of being without him plus I have my Son to consider too cos he adores my bf.


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2 years is not that long for your bf to make such a BIG commitment such as marriage just yet. Please don't compare your relationship with other's proposals and such. You say you love your bf so much, so stay in the relationship if you are both in love.

My sister was proposed by her bf about 1 year ago (she accepted) and she said she's not in a hurry to marry, so she's happy to stay engaged for now - they are both in their early twenties which is still young.

Just try and enjoy each other for now :-)

How old are you?
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Thanks for your advice. I just want to be happy and have a proper family like everyone else. A bit of security. Committment.
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You still have enough time to have more kids. People are doing it into their 40's now. It's only been 2 years, which isn't that long really.
Are you not a proper family now with your son?

Perhaps have children in a little while?
I wouldnt consider the other relationships as comparators, you said yourself that your friend had a long-term girlfriend!

I'm 25 so I appreciate that it's not the same situation with children etc, but I would be quite freaked out if I had a proposal after two years, or if someone had the 'where are we going' conversation.

You love this guy, and just as important is the fact that your boy does - don't scare him off with this stuff. It might be that two years just isnt long enough for him to consider the commitment.
from what you have said its seems like you only want to get engaged and its only an issue now because your friends are. I've been with my bloke for nearly 4 years and I'm not worried he hasnt proposed yet because we are happy together. You say should you wait as you may be too old to have kids? What does being engaged nowadays have to do with having kids. No point in long engagement either, I know some people that get engaged and have no intention of getting married in near future.
do you live together?
if you love him so much and cant bear life without him. no disrespect but what is the problem. would you be willing to show him this post ?
Why do people find eiffel tower romantic?. I'd want something different
blackpool tower would be nice.
ha ha didnt tyrone in corrie propose to Maria up there? lol
4get - I suppose it's more romantic than the kitchen when I was crying my eyes out..!!
no idea dont watch soaps,better things to do.but somewhere unusual now thats worth a question . bet not one male answers !
why were you crying in the kitchen red? were you hoping for someone better ?
oops meant ummmm. its the hormones
I wouldnt care if out of the blue he just turned round got on one knee and asked, no planning or anything, like he really means it.
I would try not to dwell on marriage, having more children and the idea of romantic gestures. Take another year and make it a really happy one with no pressures and see how it goes. Turning 30 (as your boyfriend must be about to) is often a decisive time in people's lives.
That said, in my own experience where things hadn't changed in the first two years they never did. It wasn't that long after my Dad had died and I was round my mates reminiscing and was very emotional. Got a taxi home and was having a cry in the kitchen. He came in and popped the question...

At least I know he still loves at my worse..

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