Evidence now found

[Velvetee]

I mentioned before my "Fiance" acting suspiciously and I believed he was pursuing some kind of relationship with another woman, even though he denied it, making me out to be paranoid and crazy.

I mentioned also he'd bought some jewellery for someone else, he claimed it was for his admin assistant, to say thanks for all her hard work, but I didn't believe him and have been suspicious of him for months.

Anyway he went off to Relate today to try to sort his head out and I went fishing for evidence. I found a password protected document on his computer, so purchased software to find it. I discovered it was a conversation he'd saved from Facebook, where he was very flirtatious and finally he has admitted the jewellery was for her.

To make matters worse, this admin assistant, also had conversations on there with him, where she was actively encouraging him to get involved with this other woman, who incidentally has just moved in with her boyfriend. This assistant actually told him not to marry me and advised him to delete the history of his conversations.

I cannot believe anyone would try to help destroy someone elses relationship, she doesn't even know me. As for my "Fiance" I am so disgusted with his pack of lies. I begged him to tell me the truth, but he just denied everything or ran away.

I've never been one to let men treat me badly and when similar things have happened in past relationships, I've never given second chances. Things are different, I'm pregnant, nowhere to go, no more money and I know I can't raise the baby alone. He was the one who wanted a baby and I cannot believe how he has treated me.

He was off buying another woman jewellery on the eve of my mum's funeral. He claims he is disgusted with himself and wants to make amends, I just feel I despise him.

[Velvetee]

Yes Sara, have property all let out. Also, don't see why I should move out into a flat and have to lug a pushchair up two flights of stairs. All of this is his making, because he's scared about becoming a father. I'm not exactly an expert on parenthood either.

[pizza]

maybe velvetee your on the wrong site i dont no when i read your thread thought what a bad time you have had but then you refer to similar things in past relationships x
so youre pregnant now and you need to get your act together ! else what the hell will happen to your child ditch the loser get all the help from social you can and take resposibilty for your actions x

[gonzo00]

well velvetee..i think you know that you have to get rid of this loser..he's not the catch of the year from what you've told us about him...you know it makes sense to move on and put yourself and the little one first.

[necro.guy]

lol lol he sounds exactly the same as gravitate aka poltergeist. ha ha ha

any more make belief stories velvetee you TROLL

[Velvetee]

Pizza, I don't know any woman, who hasn't had a bad relationship, where they have been messed around. I expect many men have too.

I thought we had a good relationship and we were happy, but since I became pregnant he seems to be running scared, even though he claimed he always wanted to be a parent. He isn't a child and at 39 needs to get his act together. I don't see why I should become another burden on the social system, when the baby's father is more than able to look after him and by rights should.

[necro.guy]

well you sound like a frigid old stuck up bint. no wonder he plays away lol lol

[Leggendisgod]

you own property

why on earthb shpuld you be a burden?

you haqve cash

use it
and dont be another sponging single mother shellsuited and spongin cash



for cakes and fags

[necro.guy]

lmao

[pastafreak]

Velvetee....NO first time parent is an 'expert'....it is a matter of learning 'on the job'....and I am sure you will do fine. Even with your fair share of mistakes along the way.
Get rid of of your non-commited partner...or make some attempt to work things out. If that is not possible...then aim at least for some fiancial support for your child...and use an attorney for that.

Finally....lugging that pushchair will get you fit again....use it!

[Velvetee]

Thanks Pasta.

[Leggendisgod]

pasty didnt you know ?

she is a personal fitness trainer.



mind you she said 2 days ago shes had liposuction done twicw


whats her training ?


hello there id advise you to get liposuction



lmao

[crazycathy2]

Hi Velvetee

Most people know very little about babies before they have one. I used to think I'd never be able to get Jack dressed was scared I'd break his arm off trying to put it in a babygro but babies aren't as fragile as they look.

I've thought you were a strong personality that is what has come across of the threads I've read.

I think your guy needs to get his act together and fast, whether you stay together or not he is still going to be a father.

You need to think of yourself and the baby because he clearly isn't. I wouldn't be making any decisions at the moment wait until your son is born and then see how you feel. Your hormones are all over the place at the moment.

Once you hold your son in your arms sure you'll feel all this heartache disappears.

[beaniesq]

Can I ask why is everyone being such nobs about this?

Necro person, whoever you are, go away. Post one more insult on this thread and I'll have the administrator remove your comments and your account. It's one thing voicing an opinion and another calling someone a bint.

Velvetee, I sometimes think men are programmed to philander. Especially when wives/partners are pregnant. The whole dynamic of your relationship changes when a baby is on the way.

The good news is, he hasn't slept with her, and it sounds like he could have if he'd really wanted to! The bad news is that he obviously gets a buzz out of the attention she's paying him.

Can I recommend a trick I found in a book about the psychology of lying. Basically, the trick is to behave as though you already know about his indescretions, and play the empathy card, i.e. "Look, I know I'm pregnant and haven't given you much attention lately, blah blah, and if I was in your shoes I'd be tempted to do the same thing, etc etc. But we can get over this if we can just talk honestly about what you did ...".

I know it's a bit of a sneaky trick, but often if the partner thinks he/she is not going to get caught up in a massive row about it, and if you leave enough appropriate silences in the conversation, you are likely to get a good idea of the real truth.

I have tried this technique on a partner and it really works. Even if he starts tumbling out confessions, don't go mad, just keep listening till you have all the info you need.

At least when you know what's really going on you can make an INFORMED decision. If you rush out into the night now, you might regret it later. Lots of relationships recover from affairs, and pregnancy is a flash point for a lot of men. It doesn't mean he even necessarily likes this woman, so try and keep that in your thoughts.

Hope you get on OK! Good luck,, xx

[poltergeist]

Wowsa velvetee is a fraud! I had my suspicions like. Shame on you. Especially about your mum! My mum Did die that day!! Horrible person u r

[Schutzengel]

Velvetee. Sorry you have been subjected to some of the answers on here tonight. Perhaps it would be better if you could come on to the site earlier in the day, when those on here who have supported you through the caring for your mother, her recent death, and your wedding having to be cancelled due to the funeral arrangements, and now through the indecision and messing about of your man, could continue to support you with advice. Without the nasty and unfounded comments posted tonight. Wish you the best of luck, try not to get too stressed out as this won't be good for either you or the baby, which is due to arrive shortly, in June I think you said. Don't take the out of order comments to heart, as there are people on here who do care about what is happening to you. And don't stay up too late, as that's not good for you either. Hope all goes well eventually.

[Leggendisgod]

Im afraid the storys starting to come apart at the seams.

Whatever next eh ?

[tamborine]

Velvetee...this is v.sad. You had such hopes & dreams when you discovered your pregnancy. You WILL prevail & he will see his error/relapse when his eyes lock with his child.

Pregnancy is a trying/confusional time for both parents. Never pry into private docs as they bring the destruction you now feel. He is frustrated at needing you - that's all! Dont let this destroy what you both have. Put it out of your mind, concentrate on your baby. He wants to be part of that - dont close that door, as your child will hurt most.

Concentrate your anger on the 'Ho' who is baiting him but dont let her win him. Get him back & spit in his dinner - you can make him suffer & 'pay' for his sins.

Wind up the Ho - (tell her the jewellery is hot & cops will be round) revenge yourself on her!

[pinktwink]

velv you have had your suspicions all along so why torture yourself finding evidence all the time. Sorry but if you put as much time and energy into rescuing your relationship than finding ammunition perhaps you may feel better. As I have said before you need to decide is this the life you want for you and your child??? You dont have to bring a child up alone. I am sure ther eis plenty of support out there in the community or with friends / family. Alternatively you could ask him to care for the baby or consider sdoption. There are aleays choices

[poltergeist]

u r sick. My mum died a horrible death that day. U are ******* sick!